Avengers #500

Title: “Chaos: part one of four”

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis

Penciller: David Finch

Inker: Danny Miki

Colors: Frank D’Armata

Editor: Tom Brevoort

At Avengers mansion, Hawkeye tells Ant-Man that it is Viper. Scott Lang asks if he means Madame Hydra. Hawkeye says “whatever. Yes”. Scott asks if he means the one with the green hair. Clint says that he means the one with the sexy green hair and the green leather. Scott asks if he really has a thing for her. Clint says that he really does. She-Hulk walks into the room and tells Hawkeye that he is a pig. Clint says that she doesn’t even know what they are talking about. Jen turns to Wasp and asks her if she is right and if Hawkeye is in fact being a pig. Jan says that no Jen is not wrong, and that yes Hawkeye is a pig. Clint says that Scott asked him his number one “can’t have”. Jen asks what that is. Clint explains it is the one girl he knows he cannot have. Jan says that Clint said Viper. Jen says that she doesn’t know who that is. Jan explains, “Madame Hydra”. Jen says, “ewwww”. Clint squints at Jen and says that it must be all the green. Jen starts to respond, but an alarm goes off for the back court, ground level. They all look at the video. Scott says, “no”. Captain Britain asks if it is really him. Scott looks at Jack of Hearts and says that it can’t be. He says that he saw him die himself. She-Hulk tells the computer to confirm that it is Jack of Hearts and then computer does so. Wasp tells the Avengers to assemble and begins to formulate a strategy. Ant-Man shrinks down and flies out ahead of the others to find out what is going on. The others tell him to wait, but Scott goes ahead.

Scott walks up to the decaying body of Jack. He takes his helmet off and asks Jack what happened. He asks how it is that he is alive and says that he thought he died after saving his daughter. Scott tries to tell Jack that everything is going to be all right. Jack quietly mutters that he is sorry. Jack explodes and blasts the mansion.

Jarvis climbs out from under some rubble. Wasp asks if everyone is okay. Captain Britain says that she can’t breathe, but that she is just shaken. Wasp tells Hawkeye to take point. Hawkeye says, “point of what?” Jen looks out of the blasted hole in the mansion. Hawkeye calls out to Scott. They all walk out and see a skeletal hand reaching up out of the ground.

At the UN, Tony Stark is addressing them as both Tony Stark and Iron Man, as a citizen of the world and an Avenger, as the United States’ Secretary of Defense and as an industrialist. Tony begins his speech, but suddenly, as he looks at the delegate from Latveria, he seems afflicted. Sweat runs down his brow. He rubs his mouth. He says that he was just looking at everyone and then singles out the delegate from Latveria. He asks him how he has the nerve to sit there in the front row. He says that he thought the seats were reserved for human beings. He asks how many times the world has to put up with their crap. He calls the delegate a piece of garbage. Tony keeps insulting the man and Latveria. He says that they ought to take a vote right now to wipe his country off the map. Yellowjacket asks Tony what he is doing. Tony asks if he is the jerk now. He says that they were all thinking it. Yellowjacket tries to pull Tony away, but Tony tells Pym to get off him. T’Challa stands up and tells Tony that he thinks it would be best if he stepped down. Tony tells T’Challa to cork it. Tony’s repulsor ray flares up. Tony says that what he would love to do is put the Latverian delegate out of his misery. T’Challa steps in front of Latverian’s delegate and asks Tony what is wrong with him. Scarlet Witch comes out. Tony storms off the stage. Pym asks Tony what is wrong with him, but Stark just asks if Pym doesn’t have a wife to beat.

Off to the sides, Tony watches Hank Pym apologize for him. Wanda walks up to Tony and asks him what is wrong. Tony says that he knows this feeling. He says that he thinks he is drunk. Wanda asks if Tony drank. Tony says that he didn’t. Wanda says that he has been sober for so long. Tony says that he didn’t have anything to drink. Suddenly the Avengers alarm goes off with a code white.

Back at Avengers mansion, firefighters spray the mansion from the street. A SHIELD agent says that they ought to wait until Fury gets there. Wasp says that there might be lethal radiation from the blast. The SHIELD agent says that they checked before they landed like they always do. Wasp starts to mention Jack being half an alien. The agent tells Wasp that he thinks she is in shock. A soldier is asking Jarvis if he is having trouble breathing. Jarvis says that he would rather they tend to the others. The soldier starts to snipe at Jarvis, but Captain America tells the soldier to talk to Jarvis as if he were talking to him. He says that as far as he is concerned, Jarvis is an Avenger. Cap asks Jarvis what happened. Jarvis says that Scott Lang id dead and that someone should call his daughter. Someone spots a quinjet coming in. Cap explains that the whole team has been called in. The soldier says that it is coming pretty fast. Cap looks and sees that Vision is flying. Cap realizes that he isn’t going to stop. The quinjet hits what is left of the mansion and explodes. The quinjet skids out of the mansion and hits a tree. Falcon flies over. Hawkeye, Jen, and Wasp come over. Vision climbs out of the quinjet. Vision greets them in the Avengers’ darkest hour. He says that he is sorry to tell them that he is no longer in control of his body structure, and that they are no longer in control of anything they hold dear. He says that their time is over. He says that he can’t explain it to them in terms that they would understand because he is only beginning to understand how it is that they have failed as a group… and why they are about to be punished. Cap tells Vision to tell them what happened. Vision says that it will seem like this is a betrayal from him, but that he isn’t the one that is bringing this plague upon them. Vision’s face seems to melt as his mouth opens wide. Five balls pop out of Vision’s mouth. Cap shouts for them to all fall back. The five orbs transform into five Ultrons. Cap blocks a blast from one of the Ultron’s and repeats for them to fall back. Wasp dodges another blast. She says that this is a nightmare and asks why this is happening. Falcon asks if this is a bad time to hand in his resignation. Hawkeye pulls back five arrows for the five Ultrons and says that he may be a traditionalist, but that he always thought one Ultron was plenty. All five arrows fly into the five Ultron’s mouths and explode. The Ultrons are unaffected. Hawkeye says that he hates this. She-Hulk says that she is about to end it in fifty seconds. She asks why this is happening and says that she feels like she has gone insane. She-Hulk takes a blast to the face. Wasp asks if these things are connected. Falcon says that he doesn’t even know what’s going on. Wasp asks how this relates to Jack of Hearts returning from the dead and blowing up the mansion. She-Hulk grabs one of the Ultron’s faces and growls.

SHIELD agent Coleman calls for back up.

Captain Britain blocks a blast meant for Hawkeye. Captain America charges into an Ultron and knocks it over. He takes his shield and severs its head. He tells the others to knock the head off and that without the head it isn’t Ultron. Tears stream down She-Hulk’s face as she screams and swings an Ultron around by its leg. She-Hulk smashes the Ultron’s head into the ground. Falcon picks one up into the air and drops it. She-Hulk smashes the Ultron’s head again and again and again. The Ultron’s head fractures. She-Hulk screams and growls. She tears the Ultron’s head off. Falcon asks if that was the real Ultron. Hawkeye says that the real one liked to talk an awful lot. They start to talk it over, but She-Hulk grabs Vision and pulls him up. She says, “I’m so sick of this!!! Why? Why is this happening?!! Why is Scott Lang dead? Where are you in there? Wake up and tells us what this is?? I just watched an Avenger die!! FOR NO GOOD REASON!! AND THIS PIECE OF WHATEVER IT IS KNOWS WHY!! HE COMES DOWN HERE AND ATTACKS US?? NO!! THIS IS OUR HOME!! WHY?? WHY WHY WHY WHYAAARRHHH?!” Cap tells Jen to put Vision down and that he means it. Jen shouts, “It’s not even human!! It’s just a thing!! A thing that just tried to kill us!!” Cap repeats for her to put him down. Hawkeye tells her to calm down. She-Hulk growls and rips the Vision into two pieces. Wasp flies over. She tells Jen that she isn’t her cousin and that she is in control. She says that this isn’t her and that she can control it. She-Hulk swats Wasp out of the air and tells her to shut up. Cap tells Jen to calm down or that Avenger or no that he will put her down. She-Hulk starts pounding on Cap’s shield.

A SHIELD agent radios in that the situation just went to level nine. He says that they need a Hulkbuster crew down there A.S.A.P.

Captain America is on the ground. She-Hulk picks up a military truck and presses it over her head. Captain Britain tells her not to do this. Jen only growls. Captain America looks up as the truck gets closer.

Elsewhere in the dark, one voice asks if it is over. Another says that it isn’t. The first voice asks if there is more. The second voice says that there is much more. It says that there are many and that they have much to answer for. The first voice says that they should just kill them and be done with it. The first voice asks what that would prove. It says that it has no meaning that way. It calls the other voice stupid. It says that the answer is no and that it isn’t over.

Avengers Files rating: 9 out of 10

Review and pictures by The Leader

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