Avengers vol. 3 #56Avengers vol. 3 #56
Title: “Lo, There Shall Come… an Accounting!”
Writer: Kurt Busiek
Penciller: Yanick Paquette
Inker: Ray Snider
Colors: Tom Smith
Editor: Tom Brevoort
The Avengers are all milling around
together. Beast is telling Iron Man that this is the thanks that
he gets for stopping by last month and that there are advantages
to being on an outlaw team. Iron Man says that he will keep that
in mind. Captain America and Thor are trying to make USAgent
cheer up by telling him that this isn’t that bad. Thor tells
him that there will be other monster truck rallies. 
She-Hulk is
asking Jarvis if this will be much longer and that she is due in
the criminal court building. Jarvis announces the arrival of the
accountants. Captain America shakes Maxwell Caton’s hand and
says that it is good to see him. Caton says that he is glad to
see that so many of them could make it. Max introduces Janice
Imperato and says that she is new to the foundation and will be
helping out. Janice says, “So many? We specifically stated
that all…” Caton interrupts her and says that in order
to keep their tax exempt status that they have to audit the
team’s expenditures and make sure that they are justifiable.
He says that they have picked one at random. Caton says that they
will start with Beast. As Beast is being led away, Cap asks Iron
Man if he can’t just do away with this. He says that as Tony
Stark he set up the Maria Stark Foundation. Iron Man says that
they are all that stands between them and the IRS and that he
would rather fight Ultron while in his underwear.
In the room with Beast, Janice says that they want to discuss the destruction of a quinjet. Beast starts sarcastically shouting his innocence. Beast says that when the call came in that most of the team was unavailable. He says that they called in the reserves and anyone that was in town. Beast was flying with Silverclaw, Wonder Man, and Iron Man inside with him. Another quinjet was also heading to the problem in St. Louis. Beast was showing off flying with his feet when everyone was shocked by a face scowling at them in the form of a cloud. Beast says that it was his animal-like reflexes that allowed him to evade. The quinjet’s wing smashed against the street. The ship skidded to a halt and the Avengers came face to face with the Elements of Doom. One element tells another to show their new masters what they can do. Janice says that isn’t what the witnesses say, but Caton stops her and says that Mr. McCoy is there of his own free will and that they should move on.
Iron Man is next in the room. Janice wags her finger is his face and says that their concern with him is the bill from COMSAT. She says that they’re charging triple and penalty fees. Caton says, “Ahem. If you will just tell us what happened, sir…” Iron Man watches as Neodymium is fighting with Wonder Man. Iron Man saw that one of them was going after of the locals, and that he was made of pure arsenic. Iron Man used a wide-dispersion repulsor attack to blow away Arsenic. Iron Man says that he has seen creatures like this in the files. Wonder Man says that they fought them years ago in Russia. Iron Man says that since the quinjet comm.-link was damaged that he used his transmitters and sent a signal off the COMSAT unit to get information to the Avengers. Iron Man asks if there was a problem with that. Janice says that Iron Man used the satellite without permission and that he disrupted other signals. She says that their customers weren’t happy. Iron Man says that he doesn’t really care if a few soap operas got static. He says that COMSAT and the Avengers have an agreement. Janice says that he was sending data and not a call for help. She says that with permission that the rate would have been better. Iron Man says that he thinks that foundation can afford it. Janice starts going off that it was his employer that started the foundation not him. Caton pulls her aside and whispers something in her ear. Janice’s eyes open wide and she says, “My… apologies, Mr. Stark. I’ve been busy, and hadn’t heard. As a board member of the foundation, you’re of course authorized to…” Stark tells her not to worry about it and that as it turned out the information and the transmission was helpful. Captain America was at the mansion and saw that the Elements of Doom were back. He wonders who brought them back this time and gets an idea. He tells Jack of Hearts to come with him. Iron Man says that they can tell them about that though. Caton says that they will get to that. He asks Iron Man if he could send USAgent in as he leaves.
Janice asks USAgent if he can run him through the events. USAgent has his arms folded and says that he cannot. He says that he is a busy man and that the day has gone out of his head. Caton says that perhaps they can refresh his memory. Beast recognizes Ruthenium and asked USAgent for help. USAgent told Beast to forget it and that he doesn’t take orders from him. USAgent went on his own and spotted an element picking up a car to throw at the people. USAgent knocked the top off a fire hydrant and went to spray the element with the water. Wonder Man tried to stop him, but it was too late. USAgent combined water with Sodium and released hydrogen gas. Caton says that Iron Man shielded some of the people from the explosion, but that eight were burned and their hospital bill was sent to the foundation. USAgent says that they should be grateful to be alive. He says that he knows their type and that they are just trying to chip away and drag heroes down. He says that he doesn’t have to answer them. He says that they just pay the bills and so they should just pay them. Janice starts to yell, but Caton says that they have got all they will from him and should just move on.
Caton thanks Thor for coming and that he knows Thor has taken a leave of absence from the Avengers. Thor says that they want to hear of the battle and that it was a glorious battle indeed. Thor was in the quinjet with She-Hulk as Triathlon flew the quinjet. A giant element reached out of nowhere and grabbed the quinjet shattering it. Thor glided down and Triathlon found his way down while She-Hulk hit the ground hard. Cesium tried to zap Thor, but Thor just absorbed the power. Thor says that he is the god of thunder and offers to show Cesium his power. Thor grabs Cesium and uses him to smash another element. Thor starts to recount his next victory when Caton stops him. He says that it was the building that he wanted to talk about. He asks if it was really necessary to destroy it since it was so expensive. Thor says that he hadn’t thought about the building at all save that there were no people inside it. Thor says that the creature was defeated and that is what was important. Caton agrees, but says that they have to justify the funds. Thor says that Iron Man told him that they were treasurers so he came prepared. Thor hands them a bag of Asgardian gold and says that should pay for the building. Caton says that they always welcome donations, but that it isn’t that they don’t have the money. He says that they just have paperwork. Thor offers his apologies but says that he has duties in Asgard and that he has no time for “paperwork”. Thor says goodbye and walks out.
She-Hulk says that she has an appointment
and asks if they can get this over with. Janice says that she has
had enough of the “high-handed treatment” she says that
they have legitimate inquiries. Janice brings up the other
demolished building. She-Hulk says that she knows the one. 
She-Hulk says
that she saw Tungsten and Nickel knocking out the supports for
the building. She-Hulk smacked them hard and grabbed the building
before it fell. She-Hulk told everyone to run and that she would
hold it until they were clear. One man didn’t leave and said
that he was the owner of the building and that he is holding her
responsible for wrecking it. He says that he has mental anguish,
pain and suffering. He says that he will sue her for so much that
it will be decades before she can buy a candy bar. She-Hulk told
him that everyone else was clear and that if she drops the
building that she would be just fine. She says that she would
leave if she were him. She-Hulk says that he left and asks if he
is really suing. Janice says that he is suing the Avengers and
her personally. She says that she would take him seriously.
She-Hulk says that she wouldn’t. She says that it is a
meritless case and that he is just hoping that they will settle.
She-Hulk tells them to tell him that they are planning extensive
depositions and that they are looking into the building’s
safety records and tie up his top management for weeks. She says
that he will fold and asks if she can go now. Janice says that
she forgot that She-Hulk was a lawyer too.
Caton tells Captain America to come in and make himself comfortable. He says that Cap has been to more of these than anyone. He says that today they have a “federal prison personal-possession voucher request, and, um… a parking ticket?” Cap says that they flew to a prison near Philadelphia and that the lot was full. He says that the park was wet with rain and couldn’t handle the weight. He says that they were forced to park on a side street effectively blocking it. He says that is where the ticket comes from. Cap says that they called ahead and arranged to meet with the warden, but that when they got there an Element of Doom, Platinum, was trying to reach “the creator” so he could kill him as he had been commanded. Cap tells Jack of Hearts to handle him while he deals with some urgent business inside. Cap says that he used his Avengers security clearance to get through to the cell of Dr. Vasily Khandruvitch, who originally created the Elements of Doom. Cap says that he was jailed after re-creating them a year ago and that he didn’t think that he have done it a third time. Cap asks him if he knows who is behind the latest Elements of Doom. Vasily says that Advanced Ideas Mechanics, or AIM, created them this time. He says that AIM contacted them one night via hologram and asked him to re-create the Element of Doom for them. They said that they had his notes and working papers for them. He asked them if they were crazy and said that he would stay in jail and be a free man in time. The hologram said that since he is not with them that he is against them. He said that he would be killed by his own creations. Cap says that AIM probably had a logical reason for wanting him dead. Cap recalls that he once created a way to shut down the Elements of Doom. Vasily tells Cap to destabilize the crystalline structure of their brains and they will lose cohesion. He says that he had been making notes all day. Cap tells Caton that he gave him the schematic. Cap says that the prison has rules about paper going in and out and that since he didn’t have time to comply with them that they asked for the retroactive voucher. Cap hands over the paperwork, a written report, and the badge number of the officer that ticketed the quinjet. Janice says that this is more like it.
Jack of Hearts says that he isn’t really sure what he should do so he will just tell them what happened and then they can ask him whatever they want. Jack says that Platinum was pretty tough and that Cap was already coming out by the time he defeated him. Cap says that he has a solution and that they need to get it to St. Louis. He says that there is no time for a quinjet and that he will have to take it himself. Jack flew off with the paper. He says that his top speed has never been time, but that with the limited space he had he made it fast enough to get to St. Louis in three minutes. Jack gave the solution to Iron Man, Wonder Man, and Beast. He says that they salvaged pieces from the wrecked quinjet, the onboard labs, and that they made a “chemical destabilization cannon. Beast gave the thing to Jack and Jack used it to dissolve the Elements of Doom and that they all became a bunch of goop. Jack says that they caught the AIM guys responsible, but that the goop clogged up the sewer systems. He says that maybe if he was thinking he could have decoyed them into a container. Caton tells him not to worry about it and that it was an emergency. Caton says that they just have to take a few more notes and then they will be out of their hair.
Janice and Caton walk out together. Beast asks if they passed and checks to see if there will be any Sentinel program started over improper use of an Avenger quinjet. Caton says that would be up to the government. He says that they just fill in the forms, but that they will have a full copy of them in tomorrow’s mail.
As Caton and Janice walk out of the mansion, Janice asks if that was normal. Caton says that it was pretty standard, and that there is really only one difficulty and that they addressed it. He says that he and Stark spoke about it and that since USAgent refuses to cooperate with foundation procedures that they should forward all bills to the Commission of Superhuman Activities. Janice asks about the others and says that, other than Captain America, they were all sloppy and disgraceful. Caton says that they will just “fudge it”. He says that they will stay within the boundaries, but that they will be a little vague. He says that they are there to help them, not to put them out of business. He says that their pretty important job a little easier. Janice says, “Well, yes, but… but ‘fudge it’…?!” Caton tells her to think of it as a challenge as their cab drives away.
Avengers’ Files rating: 5.5 out of 10
Not much of a swan song for Busiek. Just a little busy work and it didn’t really leave much of a signature to, what I consider to be, an unprecedented run on the Avengers. Paquette has some pretty good facial expression, but other than that I’m not very fond of his work or style. Oh and in case you haven’t read it elsewhere… I hate the Elements of Doom.