Defenders vol. 2 #12
Title: "Silent but Deadly”
Writer: Erik Larsen
Penciller: Erik Larsen
Inker: Erik Larsen
Colors: Gregory Wright & Tom Smith’s Color Arts
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Dr. Strange is floating in some dimension as he is plucked away by the curse.
Namor is sitting on his throne as he is plucked away by the curse.
Silver Surfer stands atop a mountain as he is plucked away by the curse.
Bruce Banner is taking a shower as he is plucked away by the curse.
Namor points out to Strange that the Hulk
isn’t wearing any pants. Strange magically gives Hulk some
clown pants. Hulk gets angry. He starts walking towards Strange,
but he notices that he can’t make any noise while he is
shouting. Hulk smashes the ground in frustration. Strange tries
to calm Hulk, but Hulk remains confused. Surfer shows Hulk an
illusion of a little Earth blowing up. Hulk is still confused.
Namor gets a rock and scratches a message into the ground telling
Hulk that they have to find the bad guy or Earth will be
destroyed. Hulk is still confused and settles down to study
Namor’s message while the others leave in disgust to look
for the bad guy. Namor, Surfer, and Strange fly around looking.
Hulk sits dumb founded looking at the message. Hulk notices
something and tries to yell for the others, but still finds
himself unable to make noise. 
Hulk notices
rock moving under his feet and looks around to see dozens of rock
monsters coming out of the ground. Hulk shouts and shouts again.
Finally frustrated Hulk throws a rock and hits Namor in the head.
Namor looks around angry and sees Hulk fighting all the rock
creatures. Namor quickly collects Surfer and Strange to join Hulk
in the fight. As they fight Hulk knocks one of the
creatures’ heads off and hits Namor in the back of the head.
Namor turns around angry again, but this time he is greeted with
another rock in the face. Namor gets ticked and throws a big rock
at Hulk’s head. They fight and fight and eventually they
defeat all the rock creatures.
Strange tries to teleport them all away, but as soon as they disappear they reappear on the same scene. Namor starts yelling at Strange, but he soon notices that there is no longer any color. They look around, but Hulk is surprised as he steps on a tiny man. The color suddenly returns. Hulk holds the tiny man in his hand and cries. As the creature is dead they look around and see that the barren land has been replaced with a garden like atmosphere. Hulk lets the little man’s crumbled remains blow away. Strange teleports them away.
Dr. Strange’s Defenders rating: 6 out of 10
A decent enough story and decent enough art. The Hulk crying at the dead little man was cute, and the little playing around between Hulk and Namor and the rocks was funny, but all in all I still find the ‘Nuff Said books fairly useless.
Title: “Fooling with Mother Nature”
Writers: Kurt Busiek and Jo Duffy
Penciller: Ivan Reis
Inker: Randy Emberlin
Colors: Tom Smith
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Hulk is holding
the jaw of a giant T-rex open as it tries to bite down on him.
Hulk complains that Stupid-Lizard’s mouth is wet and has bad
breath. Hulk tells the dino to stop trying to bite him or he is
going to smash because he is the strongest one there is.
Nighthawk thinks to himself that he doesn’t get to say this
often, but that Hulk is right and he really is the strongest one
there is. He thinks that if the t-rex doesn’t stop it that
it is going to wing up t-wrecked, and that they can’t let
that happen.
The Defenders are fighting against an amusement park full of dinosaurs (no not that amusement park full of dinosaurs) as they battle against a villains known as the Chronarch. Chronarch holds his Chrono-Scepter into the air and tells the dinos to crush them. A pterodactyl is going after Nighthawk, but Valkyrie says that he is her friend and then shouts for the dinosaur to die. Strange erects the Shield of the Seraphim causing Valkyrie to smash into it. Strange says that they must at all costs avoid injuries to the dinosaurs. He says that thank goodness he erected the shield in time. Val looks disdainfully at Strange and says that she and Aragon are unharmed , and “thanks” him for expressing his concern. Namor asks Strange if he would care to explain why, and how he plans on imposing this prohibition on “the hulking behemoth we are saddled with as an ally”. Hellcat says that she thinks that she knows why. She says that however he did it that Chronarch brought these things forward in time, and that if they don’t go back as they were that it may alter the course of history. Hellcat says that as far as the Hulk goes… she leaps onto Hulk’s back and starts tickling him. Hulk asks why Cat-Girl is bothering him. Hellcat says that the guy over there (Chronarch) says that his suit is so strong that even he can’t rip it off him. Hulk freaks and leaps towards Chronarch. Surfer decides that he has had enough and freezes the dinosaurs in bubbles created by the power cosmic. Hulk lands in front of Chronarch and says that he is going to tear his suit off him and show him how strong he is. Chronarch starts stuttering and says that he can’t do that because he is the Chronarch. Hulk says that he doesn’t care about Krow-Nark, but that Krow-Nark should care about him because he is the strongest one there is. The impact from the Hulk landing causes the Chrono-Scepter to fly into the air. Nighthawk grabs the scepter, but Surfer seizes the scepter with the power cosmic and tells Nighthawk to give it to him before he breaks it. Nighthawk tells him to help himself, but wonders where the congratulations for a good job are. Surfer says that whatever “technological tomfoolery” activated the scepter the power cosmic would reverse it. The dinosaurs fade away.
Hulk tears Chronarch’s helmet off and asks him what he says now. Chronarch quickly apologizes and begs them not to kill him. He says that it was all just an accident, and that he just swept up for the guys that made the time viewer. The man says that he just spilled something that caused it to become a time vortex, and then the dinos came through and killed all the scientists. He says that when he held the controller that he found that they did what he wanted. Namor, in disbelief, says that he decided to adopt a foolish name and costume and play at being a menace. He can’t believe that this is what the mindless curse deems worthy of their attention. Surfer says that he wonders about the people of this planet. Strange says that they both raise valid points, and that they should return to his sanctum sanctorum. As Strange, Hulk, Namor, and Surfer leave they leave behind Nighthawk, Hellcat, and Valkyrie. Nighthawk, again sarcastically, says not to worry about them, and that they will catch up. Hellcat says that whatever it up their butts just crawled up higher. Val says that she doesn’t know them as well, but that this isn’t like them… even the Hulk.
Back at Strange’s home, Nighthawk watches the four “big guns” and thinks about the Defenders as a concept. Nighthawk says that he calls it a team, but that really it was just them getting together to fight when things needed to get done. Nighthawk says that he, Hellcat, and Val seem to like it, but that the four big guys are loners and reluctant allies. He says that they used to be like oil and water, but that since the curse they have been more like oil and matches. Strange says that he must perform new thaumaturgic tests, and that the rest of them will remain there. Namor tells Strange not to think he can tell him what to do.
Valkyrie and Hellcat walk down the stairs. Val asks Hellcat if she is sure about this. Hellcat says that she is sure, but that when they are out of costume that they are Patsy and Samantha. Kyke says that they are looking good, and asks them where they are going. Patsy says that now that they know who Val is that they have made arrangements for her family reunion. She says that they are going out to shop for the occasion. She asks Kyle if he wants to come with them. Val says that Kyle has “double-diamond, no limits platinum card that would make us queens of the mall”. Nighthawk says that he will take a pass. As the ladies are leaving, Patsty tells Wong that they will use the double secret doorbell code when they return. Wong says that they don’t have a code, but Patsy says that they’ll invent one before they get back. Papa Hagg arrives and tells them to make it something that they can dance to. Hagg says that this is a nice place except for the dreadful vibrations. Nighthawk sees Hagg and tells him to cool the insults. Strange sees that Hagg is in his house and asks Nighthawk how he dares bring another mystic past the wards that guard his house without his knowledge or permission. Strange says that he thought that Nighthawk had more respect than that. Hagg says that he just came there to help out with the curse. Strange says, “Get out!” and blasts Hagg out the door. Nighthawk yells at Strange for being so inhospitable. Strange says that he has guarded his house against further unrecognized intruders, and that if Nighthawk doesn’t back off that the list will extend to him and the bearers of the “double secret doorbell code”.
Strange leaves to go back to the others. Nighthawk thinks to himself that they have gone insane. Nighthawk says that Hagg was there to help them break the curse. He reminds them that they have been wanting to break the curse for months. That they are trapped by the power of Gaea. Strange says, “Gaea?” Nighthawk goes on that he thought that they could use another set of eyes. Strange tells Nighthawk to be quiet, and that he has raised a point that he had not thought of. Namor asks what point that is. Strange says that even though the creator of the curse is dead that the curse can still be broken. Strange says that it is Gaea that stands between them and freedom, and so they will deal with her. Nighthawk says that when Strange says “deal with” he means “petition humbly and politely”. Strange calls Nighthawk a dolt. Namor says that he petitions no one. Hulk says that he will smash anyone who keeps him stuck in the stupid curse. Surfer says that he is not of this world, and that the spirit of its mother doesn’t impress him. A figure in the shadows watches with red eyes and a giant grin. Strange says that they should go and the four of them teleport away. Nighthawk looks to the ring to follow them. The figure continues grinning.
Nighthawk
arrives about a minute after the others. Hulk notices the lions
that sit by Gaea’s side and goes to look at them. Gaea says
that it is her defenders, and that one of their little friends
has come along. Gaea asks if they have come to bring her tribute.
Strange says, “Of sorts, Earth goddess. We bring you a
reminder that, like you, we four here are sworn enemies of the
late techno-mage Yandroth. And that when he had bested you, when
you were dying beneath his power, we in turn bested him and freed
you. Cursing us into your perpetual service was not
Yandroth’s tribute to you, but his vengeance upon us. We
bring you the compliment of our faith that you will not let us
suffer for having helped you. We bring our certainty of your
power to unmake Yandroth’s revenge.” Gaea says that
Strange has pretty speech, and that she does have the power to
overturn the curse, but she asks why she would do that. Nighthawk
speaks up and says that they save her planet all the time, but
that it is really messing up their lives. Gaea says that
Nighthawk’s speech is not so pretty. Gaea says that his
allies have the honor of serving her, and that she sees no reason
to change that. Strange says, “Have a care, woman! We are
not to be taken lightly.” Namor and Surfer say that the
power that they use for her might also be used for their own
purposes. Hulk is confused and says that the big lady won’t
help him. Hulk says that Big-Lady is going to do what Hulk wants
or Hulk is going to smash her and take her big kitties. Strange
tells Hulk not to threaten Gaea. Nighthawk is relieved for a
moment, but then the Defenders decide that the reason not to
threaten Gaea is because the time for words have passed. The
Defenders attack Gaea.
Nighthawk watches in astonishment as Gaea completely ignores the Defenders’ attack. Gaea rises to her feet and says that was interesting for a moment. She knocks them all to the ground. She says that they have upset her pets, and that they have upset the tranquility of her home. She tells them that she does not want to talk to them again until she has need of them. She tells them to begone and they disappear. Nighthawk holds onto the ring that lets him follow the Defenders and hopes that Gaea just sent them away instead of killing them.
Nighthawk appears on the top of a mountain as the others are talking among themselves. Nighthawk tries to engage them in a conversation about Gaea, but the others ignore him and agree on making a pact. Surfer says that they are agreed, and that they will tolerate this state of affairs no longer. Surfer says that they will do what is necessary. Hulk says that Shiny-Man makes sense, and that he thinks like Hulk now. Namor agrees. Strange says that they have been noble, resigned, they have acted as heroes and supplicants, but that from this moment on they will chart their own course. The Defenders disappear. Nighthawk stands there freezing thinking how that didn’t sound good.
Dr. Strange’s rating: 9 out of 10
Wow. The story is very surreal right now. I don’t think that anyone really believes that something isn’t up with the Defenders beyond their own decision making abilities, but it’s fun to read so far. And as for Ivan Reis… wow! I don’t know if this guy is getting regular work, but if he isn’t he should be. He is outstanding. I enjoyed what Erik Larsen brought to the table, and we all have to thank him for helping make this title exist, but upon him leaving I’m immediately shown that the Defenders are in great hands as far as other artists handling them.
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