Iron Man #247

Title: “Malled!”

Writer: David Michelinie

Penciller: Bob Layton

Inker: Tim Dzon

Colors: Paul Becton

Editor: Howard Mackie

Iron Man stands at the North Pole waiting. Iron Man spots two ships approaching. One on the ground and one in the air. He says that the mysterious message about the current war between the world’s top criminal organizations; A.I.M., Hydra, and the Maggia, was correct. The ship in the air doesn’t land, but instead shoots down a beam. Hydra’s ship positions itself. Inside, AIM’s beam the Scientist Supreme’s image becomes clear. The Supreme Hydra lowers to the ground from the ship on the ground. Iron Man assumes that the force field around him is to keep him warm. Iron Man asks both of them why. The Supreme Hydra says that it is for their mutual survival. He says that Hydra and AIM have been taking a beating from the increased aggression from the Maggia’s leader: Madame Masque. He says that they know that Iron Man has an interest in stopping that violence. The Scientist Supreme says that Masque seems to lead a life outside of her Maggia duties, and that it makes her difficult to pin down. He says that they have learned that she is overseeing a smuggling set-up at the Raycon warehouse is Los Angeles over the next few nights. Supreme Hydra says that a full attack would be detected, but that Iron Man could fly in, get Masque, and bring them back to them so they could find an end to the senseless, and costly, harassment. Iron Man says that he would rather stick his tongue in a meat grinder than help them. He flies away leaving the Scientist Supreme and Supreme Hydra behind. The Supreme Hydra says that their organization used to be one, and that suggests a temporary alliance. The Scientist Supreme says that makes sense, but thinks to himself that the Supreme Hydra is a barbarian. He says that the believes that he knows a man that could do the job for them if the price were right.

Iron Man eventually makes it back to Stark Enterprises in north LA. Stark thinks to himself that neither Aim nor Hydra know why they have been targeted by the Maggia, or why the FBI seems to be taking the Maggia’s side. He says that at least he got a little information to work with and a little exercise. He walks back into the lab and says that it is time to get back to reality…  “to this monster!” Iron Man looks at his wheelchair and says that he guesses it could be worse. He says that if he had a human valet instead of an automated one that someone would be watching him change from Iron Man into civilian clothes and that would be even more humiliating. Tony thinks to himself that he has to watch and think though, and that ever since Kathy Dare put that bullet in his spine, and cost him the use of his legs, that he has had a lot to think about. Stark tells his “metal monster” to get this over with.

Soon on the ground level, reception area, Jim Rhodes says hello. Tony doesn’t say anything. Mrs. Arbogast says that Assistant District Attorney Vincent is in his office, but Tony inconsiderately rolls right by into his office. Linda Vincent introduces herself to Tony Stark and Tony asks what he can do for her. Linda says that they are honing their case against Ms. Dare. She says that they want to go to trial soon, and that she wanted to clarify something in his statement. She say that Tony told them that he used to manufacture arms, and that he still enjoys the shooting sports. She asks him if he is sure that he never instructed Kathy Dare in firearm use. She says that could hurt them if it came out in court. Tony says that as far as he knew that Kathy had never touched a gun the night before she shot him. Linda asks Tony if he would like to hear their general strategy that night over drinks. Stark thanks her but says that he doesn’t drink. He says to feel free and contact him any time through his secretary. Jim Rhodes walks into the room and thinks to himself that Stark never turned down an offer like that before. He thinks that he must still be too hung up on what people think of him. Jim tells Tony that he is glad to see him out of the tin suit for a change. As Tony leaves the room, he tells Jim that he is glad he likes it and to enjoy it while he can. Rhodes thinks to himself that he doesn’t like the sound of that.

At Los Angeles International Airport, one of the workers shouts out that it is the Hulk. Hulk tells him that he is out of date. He is about to tell him that he is Mr. Fixit, but then remembers that he isn’t Mr. Fixit anymore. He thinks to himself that is why he took this gig after leaving Las Vegas. He say that it is supposed to be big pay, and that he might even get to break a few heads as a bonus. Hulk gets onto one of the moving sidewalks, but his weight wrecks it and sends everyone falling to the ground. He says that he did them a favor and that it looks like they could use the exercise.

At Accutech Research and Development, a subsidiary of Stark Enterprises, workaholic Abraham Zimmer’s screen goes blank. Someone is cutting into the program. He sees the priority code and realizes that it must be from the “tapeworm” he sent out to inform him of developments that might affect Mr. Stark’s medical condition. Abraham stares stunned at what he sees on his screen.

On a teleconference, Stark says to Mallard that the FBI set up Iron Man at that warehouse when they put him against those Dreadnaughts. Stark says that he wants to know why. Mallard says that Stark is in no position to make demands. He says that Stark barely skirted the big trouble in the armor wars, and that unless he wants to find himself back in trouble that he suggests he butts out. Mallard signs off. Stark thinks to himself that Mallard thinks that there is nothing he can do. He says that maybe Mallard is right, but that there is a whole bunch that Iron Man can do.

Night falls over the suburban Sage Hills Mall. Below the mall is a “heavily guarded ‘maintenance and executive’ offices” where a large Dreadbuster stands guard. Hulk asks what that thing is. The AIM agent says that is why Hulk was brought to their hidden headquarters and why Hydra and Aim have agreed to pay his exorbitant fee. He says that it was designed to suck dry the memory of anyone who is placed inside it. He adds that the first subject is to be Madame Masque, leader of the Maggia, who they have hired him to capture. Hulk asks if he really gets to earn a big fat paycheck and gets to kick Maggia butt. He says that he always thought he would have to die to go to Heaven.

Iron Man thinks to himself that the bad guys made a mistake giving him free information. He says that now he knows where to find Madame Masque. He thinks that he is not going to go get her for them, but for himself so he can find out who killed Whitney Frost.

In a dockside storehouse, Madame Masque orders the men to be careful with those crates. She says that those imports will finance their west coast operations for a month. An alarm goes off. Masque say that it can’t be the police, but suddenly the Hulk smashes through the wall. The men open fire, but Hulk knocks their guns out of their hands. A man drives a vehicle into Hulk, but it only wrecks the vehicle. Hulk leaps toward Madame Masque. He says that she and him are going places. Masque says that she has a .475 Magnum that says different. She fires into Hulk’s chest, but Hulk says that he isn’t listening and swats her down. Hulk picks up Masque and leaps through the ceiling with her over his shoulder. A man inside radios in that Madame Masque has been abducted and to initiate retrieval process immediately. Iron Man sees the hole in the roof and vans taking off. He says that AIM and Hydra must have got there first. Iron Man swoops into the building and grabs the guy that reported her abducted. Iron Man says that he has five seconds to tell him where Madame Masque is. The man says that he doesn’t know, but that she has a homing signal and that the vans are going after her. Iron Man tosses the guy aside and flies into the air to follow the vans.

Madame Masque lies in AIM and Hydra’s machine. Hulk has collected his money. He says that it was a pleasure doing business with them and that maybe they can do it again sometime. Hulk is told that he can leave through the shopping level entrance. He says that it is deserted at this time and that they have deactivated the security systems for his departure. Hulk walks through the mall and thinks that empty it is kind of spooky.

At an entrance, the Maggia’s vans pull up and a bunch of Dreadnoughts file out. Iron Man sees them entering and thinks that this must be the place. Hulk walks through the mall and sees what he thinks is a tacky sculpture that a three year old might design, but suddenly the “tacky sculpture” Dreadnaught hits Hulk. Hulk gets up and says that this coat cost him a grand. Iron Man sees Hulk and figures that he must be the one that grabbed Masque. He wants to get his attention to ask him where she is, but Hulk grabs the Dreadnaught and smashes him through the floor revealing the hidden level. Iron Man flies down into the hole Hulk made.

Iron Man sees the Dreadbuster doing what it was designed to do… lobotomizing a dreadnaught. Iron Man flies through both of them and destroys them. He sees Madame Masque hooked up to the machine. AIM and Hydra agents fire on Iron Man, but he brushes them away with a wind band repulsor sweep.

A dreadnaught fires an incendiary device at Hulk. It burns away his clothes and his money. Hulk charges the Dreadnaught and drives him into a piano store. Hulk lifts two pianos over his head and says that they just bought themselves some piano lessons. He says that these are the pianos and this is the lesson. He smashes the pianos on the dreadnaughts. Another dreadnaught grabs Hulk from behind. Hulk frees himself, tears the Dreadnaught’s chest apart, and tosses him aside.

Three Dreadbusters unite into a larger machine. It fires on Iron Man, but he uses his energy shield to block it. He gets closer and closer until he pulls the machines apart. Iron Man tells Madame Masque that he is getting her out of there, and then they are going to have a long talk. Masque says that she thinks not as a Dreadnaught grabs Iron Man from behind.

Hulk is down to his last Dreadnaught. He pulls a pillar up and smashes it into it.

Iron Man uses repulsor rays to knock the Dreadnaught back, and then uses pulse bolts to destroy the thing. He turns back for Madame Masque, but finds she is gone. On a nearby screen, Iron Man sees Agent Mallard with Madame Masque. Mallard says that she is safe with them. Iron Man asks why he is protecting her. Mallard says that the FBI has been working with the Maggia to destroy AIM and Hydra. He says that it will be easier to deal with one criminal organization that three. Iron Man says that is illegal. Mallard admits it, but says that it works. Mallard tells Iron Man for the last time to back off or they will come down on Stark Enterprises hard. Iron Man says that isn’t likely after tomorrow. Iron Man says that his sensors homed in on Mallard’s transmission frequency, and that he has his entire confession on a recording chip. He says that the networks will have copies of it in time for the morning news. Mallard is stunned and signs off.

Hulk sees an overcoat in a Big and Tall Men store. He presses his finger against the glass and shatters it. Hulk says that it almost fits as he puts it on. He says that he has to find someway to make this trip to LA pay.

The next morning, the President tells the people about the renegade FBI agents, and says that he had no knowledge of any illegal activities. He says that an investigation has been launched and that the guilty will be prosecuted.

Felix asks Stark if he thinks the agents were really acting independently. Stark says that he doesn’t know. He says that it doesn’t matter much now that the problem is over. He say that with this signature that he is ending another problem of his. Felix says that as head of his legal department that he will follow his orders and process the papers, but that he hopes he won’t think that he is out of line when he says that he doesn’t see how anyone’s problems will be solved by his stepping down as head of Stark Enterprises.

CONTINUED IN INCREDIBLE HULK VOL. 2 #361

Iron Resolve rating: 6.5 out of 10

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