Captain Marvel vol. 5 #22Captain Marvel vol. 5 #22
Title: “Dude! Where’s my Kree?”
Writer: Peter David
Penciller: Chriscross
Inker: Anibal Rodriguez
Colors: VLM
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Lorraine stands in a phone booth trying to get her dad to accept the charges for a collect call. She tells him that this is the tenth time she has called and for him to accept the charges. Her father finally accepts the charges and tells her that she should be ashamed to be acting like his deceased daughter. Lorraine says that she was dead, but that now she is not. She says that she needs some help though. She says that her apartment was rented to someone else and her things were sold off. She says that she just needs some money to get home. Her father thinks that this is some credit card scam. Lorraine says that she can prove that it is her. She tells him what his pet name for her was, teachers she had, and events in her life. Her father says that she is obviously some of “Lorraine’s sick showbiz pals having a twisted joke”. Tears roll down Lorraine’s face. Her father says that they’ve had their fun and to let them mourn in peace. Her father hangs up and so Lorraine does to. She asks how this could get worse. It starts to rain and Lorraine says that she better not ask anymore questions.
Marv stands over a wrecked car. Marlo is slumped over the steering wheel with blood covering her body. Marv says that he just couldn’t be everywhere. A little kid runs up to Marlo and starts crying “mommy!” Marv tells everyone to buckle up because accidents can happen faster than a speeding bullet. The director yells cut. He says that if the gate was clean that was a wrap. Marv asks Marlo what “faster than a speeding bullet” meant. Marlo says that it was just dialogue, but that it was so nice of him to agree to do a public service announcement. Marv says that it is a good cause and that if it helps Marlo’s career so much the better. Marlo says that her career is a joke, and that she is still smarting from being told she was too old to play a superhero’s girlfriend. The gate was clean and the director says that is a wrap and thanks everyone for coming. Marv helps Marlo out of the car and asks her if she and Rick have any plans for tonight. Marlo says that they don’t, but that he is welcome to join them. Mar suddenly remembers that Marv and Rick are molecularly bonded and that Marv couldn’t come even if he wanted to. Marlo starts cleaning off her face and says that she knows that Rick has been through a lot, but that lately he is so distant that even when he isn’t in the Microverse that he might as well be. Marv says that Rick knows some of the greatest minds on the planet and asks why he hasn’t sought them out for help. Marlo says that it is pride. He says that anytime he needed help, like when he couldn’t walk, he would go to someone, but that she thinks that he is ashamed of being seen the way he is. She says that Rick won’t let her love him or let anyone see him that way. She says that it is like he just wants to curl up and die.
Rick wakes up in the Microverse. He says that he thought he fell asleep on a bench. He looks down to find three beautiful green women and two muscular green men bowing to him from the foot of the bed. One of the women greet Rick as “wise one”. She introduces herself as Lilias, daughter of King Timhoep. She says that Captain Marvel told them about him, and that she and her sisters found him asleep on a bench and thought he would be more comfortable in a bed. Rick thanks her, but asks why she calls him “wise one”. Lilias explains that for one to live as long as Rick has that he must have great wisdom. Lilias says that they revere their old ones on Qarn. Rick tells Lilias to point him out of this loony bin. Lilias asks Rick if he would like to pleasure himself with her. She says that he could pick one of her sisters or one of the men if that is his preference. Rick says, “is that so?” Lilias says that the aged are very knowledgeable in the ways of love, and that being young and inexperienced that they are anxious to learn. Rick tells Lilias that he just needs to think for a minute. Rick shouts at the top of his lungs at Marv. He asks him where the hell he is, and that there haven’t been this many young women after wrinkly older men since Hugh Hefner and Michael Douglas double dated. Marv says that the Qarnians have some interesting philosophies. Rick says that Marv must have put them up to this. Marv says that Rick is a married man, and that he would never try to get him to compromise his devotion to Marlo. He says that he must admit that it is flattering. Rick says that it is humiliating and embarrassing. Suddenly Rick sees that Marv is flying over Mount Rushmore. He asks Marv where he is going. Marv says that he thought that they would go see if Reed Richards could help him. Rick springs off the bed and shouts, “No! Don’t you dare! I know what you’re trying to do! Forget it! No way!” Lilias, her sisters, and the men back out of the room with their heads bowed. She says that they will leave and that it is forgotten.
Marv sits down on George Washington’s enormous concrete head. He says that he doesn’t understand. Rick says that it isn’t for Marv to understand. Rick says that it isn’t what he wants. Marv says that it seems that all Rick wants to do is feel sorry for himself. Rick says that he is tired of running to superguys every time to solve his problems. He is tired of going to people that are better than him and telling them to look at what he has gotten himself into this time. Marv says that Marlo thinks that he is ashamed. Rick says that she is crazy. Marv asks Rick if they are friends. Rick says that they are so Marv tells him to talk to him. Rick says that he doesn’t want any of the people on Earth to see him this way because even if he is somehow cured that they will always remember how pathetic he was. Marv says that age is nothing to be ashamed of. Rick tells Marv that if he is his friend that he will just shut up. Rick collapses on his bed.
Lorraine knocks on the door to her friend Sue’s house. As soon as Sue answers the door, Lorraine starts pleading with her not to freak out. She says that she is her best friend and that she knows that this is weird. Sue passes right out and hits her head. Lorraine grabs a phone and dials 9-1-1. She tells them that Sue hit her head, and to send an ambulance. As she is talking on the phone, Lorraine looks down and sees the money in Sue’s purse.
It’s nighttime and Marv is standing on George Washington’s head concentrating. Rick asks Marv what he is doing. Marv tells Rick to be quiet and says that he is vectoring. He says that he is focusing on one particular star and tracking its light as a guide. Rick asks Marv what he is up to. Marv says that Rick is concerned about the big brains on Earth, and so he is taking him to the biggest brain he can think of off Earth. Rick sits up in bed and says that he can’t mean him. Marv says that he is going to take him to the Supreme Intelligence. Marv tells Rick not to worry and that he knows what he is doing. Marv takes off and shatters George Washington’s head into rubble.
At Golden Orange Comics, Al is hosting the “Gorgeous Women in Skimpy Comic Book Costumes” night. Women are supposed to go up and show them what “bad girls” they can be. Al calls for the first contestant. Soon Al realizes that there are no contestants showing up. Marlo is in her office and says that she warned Al that this wouldn’t work. She asks why they would listen to her. She says that she can’t a friend, a husband, or even a ghost of a friend. The crowd outside starts to hoot and holler as the “first contestant” arrives. Moondragon walks into the store. The guys there all start ogling her, but Moondragon keeps walking through. Outside the store Lorraine stands thinking about how Marlo is the one person who would understand her situation. Then she remembers that it was hanging out with Marlo that got her killed in the first place. Lorraine decides to put as much distance between her and Marlo as possible.
Marv flies along well past the speed of
light until he gets near Hala. Marv says that it is unusual as
they are in Kree space, but that they haven’t been
challenged yet. Rick says that it feels like a trap to him. As
Marv approaches the planet he sees that the people are not Kree.
Marv wonders where the Kree are. Suddenly Marv is struck out of
the sky by a blast. Marv hits the ground. He looks up and says,
“Well there’s one of them.” Ronan the Accuser
looks down at Marv and says that the Terran saying that prodigal
sons do have a habit of returning is true. Marv asks Ronan where
the Kree are and why he has thrown in with these invaders. Ronan
starts to laugh. Ronan says that he would like Marv to meet the
Ruul. 
He tells Marv
that the Ruul are the Kree. Rick says, “Say” and Marv
adds, “What?” Ronan says that the Kree were at an
evolutionary dead end, but that the Supreme Intelligence has
found a way around that. Ronan says that the Kree are the next
stage in Kree evolution and that they are re-establishing their
empire. Ronan says that Captain Marvel is a problem. He says that
they were going to come after him, but that they have saved him
the trouble and come to them. Ronan accuses Marv of being out of
date, a festering relic, and an unpleasant memory. Ronan says
that Marv might be only half Kree, but that he is a full
embarrassment. Ronan says that they are going to have to do
something about him because that is the Rule of the Law and the
Law of the Ruul.
Legacy rating: 7.5 out of 10
An in-betweener issue leading to the next major storyline, but it's also a great character development issue. Insights into Rick's thinking are excellent. The humor is also very well done in this issue, but Genis finding out that the Kree are now the Ruul makes this issue really cool. I mean it wasn't a revelation to anyone who read Maximum Security, but it was a revelation to Captain Marvel. 4 out of 5. Chrisscorss' pencils look pretty good in this issue. There isn't much action which suits him, but then the one panel of action that he does draw is confusing. When Ronan knocks Marv out of the sky it isn't until Marv tells us that it happened that I realized what was going on.