Captain Marvel vol. 5 #27Captain Marvel vol. 5 #27
Title: “Time Flies- Part 1: Outfoxed
Writer: Peter David
Penciller: Chriscross
Inker: Anibal Rodriguez
Colors: Chris Sotomayor
Editor: Tom Brevoort
On the planet Vargas in the Tau Ceti system, Starfox finishes telling a joke. The dozen or so girls that surround him start laughing. One tells “Eros” that they all get it. Starfox tells them to please call him Starfox because he hasn’t been known as Eros for quite a while. Starfox says that as far as the joke goes not only is it not funny, but it doesn’t even make sense. Starfox says that he was just curious to see if they would laugh at anything he said. They all laugh again. Starfox says that was his point exactly. Starfox selects Dominika out of the women and asks her if she would like to continue their conversation upstairs. As they leave the rest of the women watch him go. Upstairs Starfox asks Dominika if she has a mind of her own. Dominika says that if he wants her to that she does. Dominika goes into the bathroom to freshen up. Starfox checks himself out in the mirror. There is a knock at the door and Starfox goes to answer it. He opens the door and is immediately stabbed in the neck by a staff. The stabber lifts Starfox into the air by the hole in his neck and slams him against the wall. Dominika thinks Starfox is banging for her and says that she will be out in a minute. The stabber withdraws his staff and lets Starfox drop to the ground. He says that Starfox probably thinks that he is going to die now, but that this is just the beginning. The stabber introduces himself as Thanatos and says that despite the evidence to the contrary he is actually a big fan of Starfox’s. Dominika walks out of the bathroom and says that she is ready. Thanatos says that he despises interruptions and hurls his staff at her. The bathroom door closes, but the staff smashes through the door and blood seeps through the bottom of the door. Thanatos tells Starfox that now they are going to talk about the birds and the bees, earth, and an individual named Captain Marvel.
Marlo finds Rick standing on the rooftop at
five in the morning. She asks him what he is doing out there.
Rick says that he is just enjoying the new day and taking it all
in with two young eyes and two arms. Rick says that last night
was the most incredible night ever. He says that they call the
Hulk incredible and Spider-Man amazing, but that they don’t
have anything on her. Marlo says Rick’s name as if to say
stop because he is embarrassing her. Marlo tells Rick that no one
in Los Angeles is even awake and tells him to come to bed. Rick
asks why they should go all the way down there. Marlo asks Rick
what he means so Rick kisses her. Rick starts to go about his
business, but Marlo says that someone will see them. Rick reminds
her that no one is awake. Marlo says that Captain Marvel can see
what Rick sees and asks if he is watching them. Rick says that
Marv is asleep. 
Marlo tells Rick
that it feels so good and asks if he is sure that Captain Marvel
is asleep. Rick says that he is one hundred percent sure.
At that moment in the Microverse, Captain Marvel is standing in a waterfall to act as a cold shower. He shouts that he is not watching and covers his eyes while standing in the cold water. Marv stands up in the water and says that what little charm there was in sharing Rick Jones’ life has gone out the door. He says that he was easier to take when he was old, one-armed, and grumpy. Rick’s face appears in the water and tells Marv to just admit that he is jealous. Rick tells Marv to excuse him for having a sex life. He says that he thought Marv was asleep, but Marv says, “The hell you did”. But Rick says that he really did. Marv tells Rick to “push” the other one. Rick says that he means “pull”. Rick says that he still thinks that Marv is jealous. Marv says that he isn’t jealous of Rick and Marlo. He says that he wants them to be happy, but that he is just “honky”. Rick says that he means “horny”. Marv says that before this all happened that he had a very active social life… lovers and everything. Rick says that when things settle here that they’ll switch places and Marv can go look up some old friends. Marv asks if he means that. Rick says that Marv got him through a tough time, and that anything he can do to help he has got it.
Marlo is sitting in the bedroom brushing her hair in the mirror. Lorraine’s angry reflection appears over Marlo’s shoulder and she yells at Marlo that she didn’t tell Rick that his crazy mother is running around and killed her. Marlo asks why she should get Rick all worried. Lorraine repeats that his crazy mother is running around and that she killed her. Marlo says that she is way out in Arizona, and that the police have a dragnet out for her. Marlo says that with any luck Rick will never know. Lorraine says that he will never know that she died. Marlo says that Rick knows that she died, but not that she died again. Lorraine asks if she isn’t important enough. Marlo says that she is important, but that Rick has been through a lot, and that she is trying to give him some time where he isn’t worried about something. Lorraine says that she is going to tell Rick that Marlo was faking it. Marlo says that she was not. Lorraine says that she did every time. Marlo asks if Lorraine was watching. Lorraine says that she is a ghost and asks what else she has to do with her evening. Marlo says that she didn’t, and that it doesn’t matter because Lorraine can’t tell Rick anything. Marlo says, “God, I wish you’d bother someone else for half a minute!”
Rick is sitting on the counter in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee. Suddenly Lorraine appears next to him and says, “Marlo faked it, every time.” Rick spits his coffee all over the place. Rick asks Lorraine what she is doing there. Lorraine says that she is talking to Rick , and she asks how she is talking to him. Rick passes his arm through Lorraine and asks what she meant about Marlo faking it. Lorraine says to nevermind that she says that they have to figure this out. Rick says that he thought Lorraine died. Lorraine says that she did die, but that she came back to life and got killed again. Rick asks Lorraine if she is like that cartoon kid that gets killed every week. Rick starts shouting for Marlo and says that Lorraine is here. Marlo comes and asks what he just said. Rick turns to point at Lorraine, but he no longer sees her standing there. Lorraine says that she is right there. Rick says that he swears that she was right there. Lorraine says that Rick has just been under a strain and says they should go. Lorraine screams in frustration.
As they’re driving Rick says that he wants to tell Marlo why he thinks he was restored. Marlo says that as long as Rick doesn’t talk about seeing Lorraine that she will listen to anything he has to say. Rick says that he thinks that he had a religious experience. Rick says that before the only proof that he had of God is that he kept being endlessly punished for roaming out onto the gamma bomb-testing field. Rick asks how he is supposed to worship someone who keeps punishing him for something that he did as a kid. Rick says that now, being restored, it seems like he has finally been forgiven. Marv looks at Rick in the side view mirror and says that he already told him that the effect of what the Supreme Intelligence did was just delayed. Rick says that this felt different, but Marv says that is just in his mind. Marlo asks what Marv is saying. Rick tells Marlo and she says that maybe they are both right and that Supreme Intelligence was divinely inspired. Marlo says that the important thing is that Rick is back and that things are good between them. Rick says that he has to tell Marlo something. Rick says that while he was in the Microverse that there were a lot of beautiful girls throwing themselves at him. Marlo asks if Rick cheated on her. Rick says that he didn’t, but that it wasn’t for a lack of trying. Rick says that he shouldn’t have and that he is sorry. Marlo says that it is okay. She says that he was going through a stressful time, and that in the face of temptation sometimes people slip. Marlo says that what is important is forgiveness. Rick says that it sounds like Marlo might have cheated on him with some guys. Marlo says that it was two dozen. Rick freaks out, but Marlo says that they don’t call them the Oakland Athletics for nothing. Marlo starts laughing and Marv tells Rick that she got him good that time. Rick tells Marlo that she is riot, and tells Marv to shut up.
Inside Golden Orange Comics, one of the customers says that he knows it isn’t for the public, but that he has a potty emergency. Al tells him to go ahead. He says that they are out of tp so he should use the Spawn #1’s back there. Marlo and Rick walk in. Al says that they looks pretty chummy and asks if they are officially reconciled. Rick says, “Sure looks that was Alice…” Marlo turns and shouts at Rick as Al’s face drops to his hands. Rick says that he is sorry and that maybe nobody heard. The entire crowd says, “Alice?” at the same time. Rick says that he is so sorry, but Al says that he doesn’t want to hear it. The customer that needed to use the bathroom comes out and says that some guy is hogging the can. He says that the guy is sitting on the lid and that he said that he was leaking something. The guy says that he tried to tell him that he needs the lid up for that, but the guy said he was “fluxed” or something. Rick says that he will deal with it. Al tells him to go and do damage somewhere else. Marlo thinks that it is too bad Moondragon is off on some mission since Rick could really use some back-up, but then she remembers that Captain Marvel is always watching Rick’s back.
In the Microverse, Marv is out cold sleeping under a tree.
Rick opens the door to the bathroom and sees Starfox sitting there. Starfox says that Rick is wearing his hair differently and that it looks good on him. Rick says that he doesn’t believe this. Starfox replies, “All right, fair enough. Actually, it’s a terribly unflattering haircut. I was just being polite.” Rick says that he meant that he can’t believe Starfox just shows up out of nowhere sitting on the john in a comic book store. Rick asks Starfox if he really doesn’t like his hair. Marlo enters and asks what is going on. Rick says, “It’s Starfox, he’s a superhuman from the Saturn moon of Titan, and he doesn’t like my hair.” Marlo asks if Starfox came all that way just to diss his hair. Starfox says, “No, that’s just one of the perks. Listen, I need help.” Rick introduces Starfox to Marlo. Marlo asks Starfox if she likes her hair. Starfox says, “It’s stunning.” Marlo says, “Really?” Starfox says, “No.” Starfox goes on to tell Rick that for reasons too bizarre to go into that he is leaking a sort of temporal energy that is sending him into a flux. Starfox says that the band around his neck is keeping it under control, but that it is starting to lose its effectiveness. Starfox says that he was hoping that Rick or Genis could use the negabands to help control it or maybe even drain it off. Starfox says, “Otherwise some catastrophic effects on time and space will continue unabated.” Rick asks what catastrophic means. Starfox gets off the toilet, lifts the lid, and tells Rick to look in. Rick asks if he really wants to do that. Rick and Marlo look in to see that the bowl is full with a temporal vortex. Rick asks what is going on there. Starfox says that he has been channeling the temporal flux into this container, but that he isn’t sure how stable it is or how to get rid of it. Marlo says that there is always the obvious. Starfox asks what she means so Marlo leans over and flushes the toilet. The whole room starts getting sucked into the toilet. Rick tells Marlo to get back so he can change.
Marv is just yawning as he wakes up. Rick says that it is time to bang those bands, but Marv isn’t even really aware yet. Marv finds himself back on Earth getting sucked into a toilet. Starfox and Marv get sucked into the toilet and the lid closes behind them. Lorraine says that was different.
Marv and Starfox drop out of the sky from a temporal vortex. A personal ship buzzes by them and says, “More guys in costumes! They must be accomplices of his!” Marv asks, “Of whose?” Spider-Man 2099 that he means him. He says that he would vouch for them and say that he had never seen them before, but he doubts that they would believe him.
Legacy rating: 8 out of 10
Entertaining and funny story coupled with good art that has great facial expressions. I’m afraid that I agree with Starfox however and that Rick’s new haircut makes him look like a member of N’Sync or some equally disturbing band. This issue is almost a little too silly, but it manages to stay just this side of ridiculous I think. The scenes with Marlo and Rick on the rooftop are almost pornographic, but as I don’t really fear about my kids having a understanding about such things so I’m not overly concerned. Starfox is a little odd looking as well seeing as how he is in his stock outfit over in Avengers: Celestial Quest and here he look more like a The Artist, formerly known as that symbol or the Artist formerly known as Prince, formerly known as Prince. Still Peter David’s mini-series within a series rarely disappoints and I look forward to the rest of the story.