Thor vol. 2 #59Thor vol. 2 #59
Title: “the substance of things hoped for”
Writer: Christopher Priest
Artist: Trent Kaniuga
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Thor, Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg struggle against Loki and his hordes during the day of Ragnarok… the Twilight of the Gods. Thor is finally overwhelmed. He drops his hammer. Thor struggles to get the hammer back before the sixty seconds elapses.
An old man is telling some people that it was because he hadn’t held the hammer for sixty seconds that has kept him trapped in his mortal form. Some of the men surround “Thor” and say that they are waiting for him back at “Asgard”. Thor says that this was to teach him humility and compassion. Thor says that he has compassion for all Midgard because they know not what they do. One of the men says, “Yeah… we mortals are such schmucks that way…” A man in a trench coat appears. He says that the van from Oakhaven is outside. He asks the men why they haven’t restrained him yet. One of them says that he is a big guy. The man replies that he is 73, and that this is a Christian ministry not a dinner theater. “Thor” sees the man and seems to recognize him as Loki. The man says that they have been down this road before. He tells “Thor” that the streets aren’t a safe place for him. “Loki” sees DJ with a bulge under his jacket. He tells him that the food is supposed to be for the truly needy. He says that if the rules at the youth hostel are too strict that it is too bad. He says that he has lots of drunks and lowlifes to feed on a budget of Mayoral hot air. Loki says that he is forced to be the bridge troll. DJ squirts something into “Loki’s” eyes and says that what is tougher is it is even tougher surviving the “gladiator academies” that he calls youth hostels. DJ leapfrogs over “Thor” and runs outside. He leaps onto a passing train and eats some of the food he stole.
The year is 2026 AD. DJ wakes up sometime later where the E train stopped. He lights a match in the dark only to find that someone had stolen his shoes. He uses matches to start looking for an emergency exit. He stubs his tow and shouts that he wants to know who stole his shoes. DJ looks down to see that he stubbed his toe on a green elf that is lying on the ground. DJ tries to wake him up only to discover that he is dead. DJ says that he hopes that he has some ID on him so he can call someone for him. He says that he has seen how the city buries unidentified elves. DJ discovers the elf’s secret… a large hammer. DJ looks closely at the hammer and notices some writing on it, “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor”. DJ tries to pick it up, but he is unable to.
The next day, DJ is wearing elf shoe and talking to Maxi at the library. Maxi tells DJ that he did not see Thor. DJ says that the two of them have “been cool for a grip, now, right Maxi?” Maxi says that they are two homeless kids in New York. DJ says that maybe Thor is homeless too. He says that maybe Thor has been wandering for decades trying to find his hammer. He says that maybe the hammer is real and that Thor is inside. Maxi gets on the computer. She says that maybe DJ just needs to believe in the old guy. DJ says that Thor did exist as they look at a picture of him on the screen. DJ says that he was a member of the Avengers back around the turn of the century. He says that Thor may not have been a “Thunder God” and that maybe the man at the rescue wasn’t Thor, but who is to say that the hammer isn’t legit. He says that he couldn’t even budge it. Maxi says that if there were any gods that they are all dead because no one believes in them anymore. DJ says that there was an elf and a hammer there. He says that if he had found Captain America’s shield that she would want to go. He repeats that he isn’t saying that the old guy is Thor, but that maybe it is worth checking it out.
Colonel “Loki” asks DJ why he shouldn’t have him arrested for result. DJ says that maybe the old man isn’t as whacked out as he thinks. Colonel says that he is fully whacked, and that he has no idea where the old man is. He says that he sent him to Bellevue, but that he managed to escape. “Loki” compliments DJ on his shoes. DJ asks how he knows that the old man isn’t Thor. Colonel says that he knows. DJ asks if he is willing to bet the old man’s life on it. Colonel says that he would bet DJ’s life on it. DJ asks what about the hammer. “Loki” freaks. He says, “The… hammer…? The enchanted hammer forged of Uru metal? The long-lost, fabled hammer of Thor the Mighty? You’ve found it?” DJ says that he thinks so. “Where? Where damn your eyes?” DJ says that he isn’t going to tell him. The Colonel regains his composure and says that he wasn’t that interested anyway. Colonel tells DJ to take his delusions to Hoboken. DJ tells the Colonel that he is a cold dude. The Colonel says that it says so at the top of his resume.
Maxi tells DJ that the Colonel is in social service and that if he had too much compassion that he wouldn’t be able to help anyone. DJ says that he is warped and that he should want to protect the old man. It starts to rain and DJ wonders if elf shoes are water-proof. Maxi says that gods hang out on Mount Olympus. DJ corrects her and says that it is Asgard. Maxi asks what the next best thing is.
They’re on their way to Roosevelt Island and Maxi asks if this is as close to Asgard as he can get. DJ says that Asgard is surrounded on all sides by the sea… like an island. DJ says that the only way into Asgard is by the rainbow bridge which is guarded by a guy named Heimdall. He says that his eyes are supposed to be sharp enough to see anyone coming. He says that he figures that this is as close that a guy with no money could get. He says that if he is wrong, he is wrong.
They find “Thor” on a park bench. DJ comes up to him and says that he might have some good news for him. Thor says that DJ thinks that he is a drunk and to leave him alone. DJ says that he has been all over looking for him and that the least he can do is hear him out about the hammer. Thor turns to DJ and says, “…hammer…?” He asks what the inscription said on the side. DJ tells him about the power of Thor going to those that are worthy. Thor wonders if after so many years if it could really be Mjolnir. He says that they have to go immediately. “Loki” appears with several men from Bellevue. DJ asks the Colonel to just let them take him to the hammer and that everything will be cool. “Thor” freaks and up ends the bench on the men. He says that he is “beset on all sides by the fiends of Loki… still shall the son of Odin prevail…!” Maxi tells DJ that it is time to go. DJ wonder if he could really be Thor, but Maxi says that what he is, is probably about to get his head blown off. She says that they don’t want to be there when people start getting locked up. Thor says that he will never yield because “noble DJ” has brought him hope. Thor slugs Loki and says, “For Asgard! For Midgard! For DJ!”
Thor runs off and says that it has been too long since he has felt this alive, and that greater life will be coming. DJ follows him. Maxi tries to stop him, but DJ says that he isn’t leaving him. Maxi says that they are going to get locked up, but DJ says that he won’t abandon him. They walk until they come to the spot where the elf used to be. Maxi says that the transit cops probably found him. Thor looks and sees Mjolnir. Maxi and DJ’s eyes open wide as Thor tries to pick the hammer up. Thor can’t do it and DJ looks down and says, “Oh… no… “ “Thor” shouts to Odin and asks why he has withdrawn his love for him. “Thor” is shot with a tranquilizer and “Loki” says that is just the breaks sometimes. “Thor” charges them and they say how fast he is. Colonel says that he is on Noxlpropene and that of course he is fast. DJ asks Colonel if he is happy now. Colonel says that he is getting there. DJ says that he has to stop. Colonel says that if he leaves him on the street that he will be dead within a week. He says that the best he can do for any of them is to maintain discipline and objectivity. DJ asks if he is sure that he isn’t Thor because it looks like they could use him. DJ sees a train coming towards them. The men from Bellevue are still wrestling “Thor”, but Thor reaches out for the hammer. They tell him that they will have him at Bellevue in half and hour. Thor grabs the hammer and starts spinning it around. He says, “I say thee nay!” He tells DJ not to fear and throws the hammer. The hammer slams into a switch which changes the tracks from a green light into a red. The train stops. Thor tries to grab the hammer again, but he can’t dislodge it from the wall. “Thor’s” children and grandchildren run into the tunnel. The kids run up and hug him. They tell him to stop the train again. Thor says, “I fear I cannot, young Fandral!” He says that it must be some new test of the All-Father’s. Thor collapses. The Colonel says that he should be under until they get him back to Bellevue. DJ says that he saved their lives and asks if this is the thanks he gets. Colonel says that he saved them, and to give them a chance to save him. DJ says that he is Thor. Colonel says that Thor’s name is Harry Wilson. He says that he is a retired postman. He says that he has a wife and seven grandkids though he doesn’t remember any of them. DJ asks about the hammer. Colonel says that it is $325 at Heroes World and that it was made in Malaysia. He says that he figures that it has been fitted with grav locks to prevent anyone from lifting it. He says that the CPU is probably busted which explains its flaky performance. DJ tries to lift the hammer and says that the Colonel made that up. Colonel says, “Yes. And I’m Loki. It’s a package deal.” Colonel says that he doesn’t know anything about the hammer and that he doesn’t care. He says that there is documentation on Harry going back decades to when the real Thor was around. He says that they are going to get Harry the help he needs. Maxi says, “DJ…” DJ says that he isn’t leaving. He says that he has been thinking and that maybe the elf wasn’t so cracked after all. He says that maybe he was guarding the hammer. He says that maybe Harry Wilson really was Thor for a moment. Maxi says that this is nutcase. DJ says that maybe it is like Maxi said and that he just wants to believe. DJ sits by the hammer. He says that he chooses to believe that the hammer is real, and that when the real Thor comes back for it that he will be waiting.
Lightning Crashes rating: 4 out of 10
I’m normally a big fan of Christopher Priest’s, but after so many issues about the “regular guy’s” view of Thor and then to have this issue not have any Thor at all I find a little annoying. Still it’s a good story and gets a 3 for 5. I find Kaniuga horrible and think that someone should take his art supplies away from him.
Review and pictures by The Leader