Marvel Two-In-One #7Marvel Two-In-One #7
Title: “Name That Doom!”
Writer: Steve Gerber
Penciller: Sal Buscema
Inker: Mike Esposito
Colors: Bill Mantlo
Editor: Roy Thomas
Alvin Denton, a homeless man in the park, is woken at dawn by the sound of large wings flapping. He looks up just as Valkyrie swoops down on Aragon and grabs him up by his jacket. She tells him not to struggle and to accept his destiny. Alvin recognizes the voice and gets out, “Bar…” as he, Valkyrie and Aragon disappear.
Thing asks Strange if he has had any luck finding the old wino or the harmonica. Strange says that the Valkyrie’s part in this mystery is the most puzzling. Strange tells Thing to look into the Crystal of Agamotto. The two of them see Val sleeping under a tree. He says that she could not have come there, taken the harmonica, and returned to Cobbler’s Roost, Vermont in so short a time. Thing asks who she is and what is so important about a harmonica anyway. Strange reminds Thing about the story of the girl that he and Clea saw attacked and pushed onto a railroad track. She had pleaded with him to retrieve the harmonica instead of saving her. Strange says that he let her expression be his guide and grabbed the instrument. He says that the train struck the girl, but that she exploded into sparks. He says that she wasn’t even human, not real. He says that she was a manifestation of the Destiny Force. The sparks touched several people causing them to meet their destinies. Strange says that they saved most of the people, but that there has been no signs of the derelict. Strange says that Clea told them that Val had arrived, taken the harmonica, and left. Thing says that Clea also told her that Strange was the one that sent her. Thing says that he doesn’t even know who she is. Strange says that she is a friend and a true heroine. He says that she has gone to Cobbler’s Roost to seek out her true identity. He says that she was created full grown by the Enchantress and that she inhabits the body of a woman that she never knew named Barbara. Strange says that he sees he is confusing Thing. Strange suggests that Thing go to Cobbler’s Roost to get the harmonica. Strange says that he is going to look for the old drunk and that he is convinced that he holds the answers. Thing flies off in the Fantasticar and says that he doesn’t even know the questions. Strange wonders if maybe it is the Destiny Force that is preventing him from finding the old man. He wonders if the man’s destiny could be intertwined with Val’s. He says that the implications would be enormous.
Thing realizes as he is flying that he doesn’t even know where Cobbler’s Roost is. He thinks about going back to ask Strange, but decides to just land at a gas station and get a map. Thing walks into the station and finds the attendant asleep. He taps the man on the shoulder when suddenly he is punched right through the window of the gas station. Thing says that he has heard of guys that hate to get up in the morning, but that this is ridiculous. The man charges Thing with a giant mace in his hand. Thing moves as the mace slams against the ground. Thing hits the man and knocks him to the ground. Thing says that he wants the whole story. Executioner says, “There be no ‘whole story’ as yet, dolt! The ending hath yet to be written!” Thing says that it is just his luck to wind up with a “junior grade Shakespere”. Executioner says that chance had nothing to do with it and that they lured him there to die. Thing starts to reply, but he is knocked unconscious by a bolt of mystical force. Enchantress asks Executioner if it isn’t satisfying to know that they still work well as a team. Executioner says that he didn’t want any help from her, and that he wanted to crush him with his own strength. Enchantress says that he couldn’t have done it. She says that even her hex didn’t finish the job as he still lives. She says that she thought she was back up to full strength, but that apparently she is not. Enchantress tries another blast, but the bolt deflects off him. She realizes that it must be because Thing plays some role in the destiny of Alvin Denton, and that he cannot die until he serves his purpose. Enchantress levitates Thing’s body in with Alvin and the harmonica. She says that it seems that her ploy to magically disguise herself as the Valkyrie to obtain the harmonica “will avail us naught”. She says that they can’t use it to return to Asgard as its rulers until the forces of destiny have been put right. She says that their plans aren’t canceled, just postponed. Enchantress frees Alvin and Thing. Executioner asks what she is doing. She says that Alvin Denton must meet his fate. Enchantress, Executioner, and the entire gas station disappear.
Thing wakes up and asks what happens. He decides to forget it and figures that he probably wouldn’t understand it anyway. He sees Alvin Denton and wonders who he is. Thing starts helping Alvin out of the ropes that tie him to his chair when suddenly Strange’s astral form appears. Alvin thinks that he is a ghost, but Strange explains. He tells Thing that this man is the man that they have been looking for all night. He says that he must have been hidden in a mystical prison, and that when the prison dispersed that his crystal immediately located him. Strange says that he caught a glimpse of his captors: Enchantress and Executioners. Strange says that Thing can’t fight them alone and that he should return to New York. As he vanishes, Strange tells Thing that he has no idea how powerful they are. Thing says that he might not, but that his back does. Thing tells Alvin to hop in the Fantasticar and that he will take him to New York. Alvin says that he has to get home to Vermont. Thing says, “Uh… lemme guess, Cobbler’s Roost, Vermont… right?” Alvin asks how he knew. Thing says that it is because it’s as crazy as everything else has been today. Thing asks why. Al says that he has a feeling that his daughter is in deadly danger.
Alvin tells Thing that he is grateful for this. Thing says that he will be grateful when this is over. Suddenly Strange’s astral form appears. He tells Thing that he isn’t headed toward New York. Thing tells Strange that he is starting to feel like Big Brother is watching him and to knock it off. He explains that they are headed to Vermont to help the old man’s daughter. Strange says that he thinks that this might have something to do with Alvin’s destiny and to go ahead. Alvin says that he isn’t sure that he has a destiny anymore. He says that he used to be a high powered lawyer, but that when his wife was killed in an auto accident that he went to pieces. He says that his daughter stayed with him that summer and met her fiancée Jack. He says that the two of them fell in with occultists and that they disappeared without a trace.
As they cross into Cobbler’s Roost,
Alvin spots his daughter Barbara. They land and Alvin runs over
to her. As he gets closer, “Barbara” draws a sword and
magically transforms into the Valkyrie. Alvin throws his arms
around Val and hugs her. Val feels his stubble and smells the
alcohol on him. Val pushes him off and asks him why he is calling
him Barbara. Alvin says that she must know him or that maybe she
isn’t really his daughter. Suddenly, Enchantress and
Executioner appear. Enchantress says that the pieces of the
puzzle fit together finally. Val sees them and says that
Enchantress is the one that cursed her so that she can’t
even remember her own father. Thing asks if the man is really her
father. Enchantress says that he both is and isn’t. She says
that he sired her flesh, but that she was the one that infused
her with strength, valor, and skill. Enchantress blasts Val and
says that now she is truly his daughter. Barbara sits on the
ground screaming like a madwoman. Alvin asks what she has done to
her. Amora says that all she did was return her to her true self.
She says that the cause of her madness is the Nameless Ones, who
were her psychic mates. She says that being separated from them
caused her insanity. Enchantress says that none of that matters
now. She says that Alvin has been reunited with his daughter and
that she can now summon the instrument of her fate. The harmonica
hovers above Amora’s hands. Alvin snatches it out of the
air. He says that this must be the source of her power, and that
it must cure Barbara. He blows into the harmonica. Suddenly the
sky is filled with azure globs and the ground begins to shake and
split apart. The Earth begins to become destroyed. Enchantress,
Executioner, Thing, Barbara, and Alvin are the only five people
left alive. They float in a kind of “un-space”. Thing
says that he can’t believe you can wreck the world with a
harmonica. Amora says that you can when it plays the notes of
destiny. Executioner asks if there is anything they can do. Amora
blasts Barbara and restores her into her form as the Valkyrie.
She tells Alvin that she has restored his daughter to the best of
her ability and tells him to blow into the harmonica at once.
There is a pain in Alvin’s chest and the drops the
harmonica. Executioner dives after it, but Thing dives after him.
As Executioner is about to grab the harmonica, Thing crashes into
him. He says that he isn’t going to let him have it because
he can’t see living in a world that the two of them would
put back together. Thing says that he has a feeling that the rest
of the Fantastic Four, Alicia, and Medusa wouldn’t be around
if they blew into it again. Amora says that he is right and that
Thor, the Avengers, the Defenders, or anyone else that would
oppose them would be. Amora blasts Thing in the back. Thing tells
Val to stop Amora. Val wants to, but finds that he cannot.
Instead she dives into the Executioner. Thing asks why she
didn’t go after Enchantress. Enchantress says that Valkyrie,
as part of her creation, cannot harm another female. She tells
him to think on that as he dies. Amora blasts Thing. Thing walks
towards her and says that what he is thinking about it how
someone could warp someone like that and not show any guilt or
shame. As Thing continues to advance, Amora asks if destiny could
still be protecting Thing. Thing says that it isn’t. He says
that he is just stubborn. Thing smacks Amora down. Thing tells
the unconscious Amora that she is lucky that all she got was a
love tap. He crawls towards the harmonica and picks it up. He
blows into it and the world is recreated. Executioner and
Valkyrie are locked in battle. Executioner is baring down on
Valkyrie. He says that it doesn’t look like she will be able
to hold him off much longer. 
Thing charges
in and smashes Executioner. Thing says that they won’t have
to worry about him or the Enchantress for an hour or two. Val
asks what about the man that called himself her father. She
rushes to his side and finds that he is dead. She says that he
was the one man that could have told her all about Barbara. She
says that without that information that she is a façade, a
fiction. Thing holds Val as she cries. He says that whatever she
is that she isn’t that. He says that “paper dolls
don’t cry. Only us real people got that problem.”
Leader’s Lair rating: 7 out of 10
You can really tell that this comic was written in the 70’s… a harmonica? The only bigger tip off would be if it were a pair of bell bottom pants. However, this was a cool issue involving Valkyrie as a character, and I always like to see Executioner and Enchantress together. Sal does a nice job, but there is nothing outstanding (except that cover) within the issue itself. Nice storytelling, but a little short on style. 3.5 out of 5 for both writing and art.
Review and picture by The Leader