X-Factor #73

Title:  “Crowd Control”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Larry Stroman

Inker: Al Milgrom 

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bob Harras

A man sits in his car having an argument with his wife. She hangs up on him so he turns on the radio. The DJ says that he is playing a cut off the new Weird Al CD that has only mutant themed songs on it. He is playing “Multiple Man” based on the song Particle Man from They Might Be Giants. Suddenly, Jamie Madrox and the Multiple Man come crashing through the man’s windshield. The man falls out of his car door and says that they wrecked his car and that he has witnesses. The man looks about and realizes that all of his witnesses are the same guy. Jamie Madrox and Multiple Man are fighting one another all over the place.

In the crowd, a man is taping the fight. The woman with him says that the news shows will eat it up, but the man says that it is going straight to America’s Funniest Home Videos.

Ariel O’Hare reports from the fight. She says that X-Factor was just introduced, but that the identity of one of its members was called into question by someone that was his exact duplicate.

Moments ago, Jamie Madrox tells X-Factor that he is the Multiple Man and that he wants to know who the imposter is. He says that this is some government agency that can’t even confirm the identity of their own people and allow frauds into their ranks. Havok tells everyone not to move. Guido says that he was going to scratch his nose and asks if that is okay. Val tells Multiple Man to tell her that this is another joke and that she won’t get mad. He says that it isn’t a joke. Havok tells Rahne to use her heightened senses and find out which is the real Jamie Madrox. She says that both of them are. Guido asks Val if she wants a valium as she lies on the ground in the fetal position. Jamie tells X-Factor that their Multiple Man is obviously one of his dupes that is trying to supplant his identity. Multiple Man creates three more of himself and asks Madrox if he can do that. Madrox creates three more of himself. Multiple Man says that he knows that Madrox is the one behind what has been happening. He says that he doesn’t know what kind of trick he is pulling, but that only one of them will be walking out of their alive and that it won’t be him. Multiple Man leaps off the stage and hits Jamie Madrox. As they punch one another, Jamie Madrox and Multiple Man keep producing more and more of one another.

Val tells them to tell her that they can put a positive spin on this, but Alex just tells her to shut up. He asks Rahne if there is any way that she can tell which two were the originals. Rahne says that they are all identical in every respect.

One Multiple Man follows one Madrox into the Smithsonian. He sees that the dedication plaque to Jim Henson is broken. Suddenly, Kermit the Frog asks Multiple Man if there is something he can help him with. Multiple Man says that he is just a little lost and Kermit asks, “Have you tried Hare Krishna?” As Multiple Man gets closer, Kermit’s face balls up and his hits Multiple Man in the face knocking him out.

Havok sees that while they are still hitting one another that they are no longer reproducing. He says that he must be at his limit. Alex asks if the original is knocked out if the others disappear. Lorna says that she doesn’t know, but Alex says that they are going to find out. Quicksilver asks if they get to knock out anyone that looks like Jamie. Alex says that is what he means and Pietro is excited about it.

Some people mistake Jamie Madrox as the Rocketeer. A Multiple Man smashes into him and the people figure that it must be a stunt double. They realize that must mean they are making a movie and start looking around for the camera.

Strong Guy walks through the crowd singing, “One little, two little, three little Jamies… four little, five little, six little Jamies…” as he knocks out Jamie after Jamie with a flick of his finger.

Jamie’s and Multiple Man’s are running toward another saying, “Look! There I am!” and “Get me!” when they are hit with one of Havok’s blasts.

Inside the Air and Space Museum, the original Madrox and Multiple Man are fighting. Jamie asks if Multiple Man thinks he can keep this charade up forever. Multiple Man says that he will show him who is “charading”. Jamie says that there is no such word. Multiple Man says that it just proves that he is the real one since his grammar is lousy. Jamie starts running. Multiple Man tells him to come back and that he will prove he is the real Jamie by showing him how bad he is at the state capitals. Multiple Man chases him up the stairs and grabs his foot. Madrox spins around and kicks Multiple Man. Multiple Man says that he knows who Jamie is. He says that he is some dark repressed side of him that he doesn’t want to acknowledge, something subconscious that he is denying that will explain the mental block. Jamie says that is a nice theory and that he was just thinking the same thing about him. He says that the other is not really Jamie Madrox but like Marley’s Ghost is a bad dream brought on by an underdone potato. Multiple Man says, “The Dickens you say… uh oh”.

Polaris knocks out the last of the Jamies/Multiple Mans by using her powers to slam their heads together. She says that this stinks and that their first team fight is against one of their own members. Lorna says that they aren’t disappearing and that she only counts 38 out of the 40. Havok says that the two they missed must have been the originals. He asks where they are. Rahne says to look at the Air and Space Museum. Jamie and Multiple Man smash through the wall holding onto a model plane.

The people that thought he was the Rocketeer watch. One of them says that he never got the chance to ask him how much of a babe that Jennifer Connelly is.

Havok tells Lorna to slow them down. She says that she is trying, but that the plane seems to be mostly wooden, and that she can’t affect it directly. The plane model crashes. Jamie and Multiple Man are both unconscious. Alex notes that the others are disappearing and that he sees that Jamie does have to be conscious. Rahne notes that they are both still there though and asks how that can be if one of them is a dupe. Ariel O’Hare starts reporting, but as she does so she keeps using the word “mutant” in describing all the action and destruction. Guido turns around angrily and says that he is sick of the word mutant. He says that thanks to the media that it is one of the dirtiest words and racial slurs in the country. He says that they had some trouble today, but that if they were the Avengers or Fantastic Four that they wouldn’t be blaming it on “cosmic powered freaks” or “super hero vermin”. He asks if they remember when African-Americans were referred to as “Negroes’ or worse”. He asks if they remember when physically challenged people were “cripples”. He says that every other segment of society is treated with verbal respect except mutants. He says that they demand respect and that they won’t get it with the word “mutant” in popular use. The reporters ask what they should call them then. Strong Guy tells that they prefer the term “Genetically challenged’ or ‘GeeCees” for short.”

Professor Vic Chalker has finished his powerful exo-skeleton suit, but as he goes to get in it so he can wage war against mutants he finds that he made the measurements for the insides of the suit too small for him to get in. He says that this is just a minor setback.

Alex asks where Guido came up with “genetically challenged” came from, and says that it sounds like being a mutant is something to be ashamed of. Guido tells Alex to lighten up and that he was just trying to distract them while the others got Jamie out of there. He says that the media won’t take it seriously. Alex turns on the television. The image is of Guido and he is being introduced as a member of the “new GeeCee team”. Lorna tells Alex to stop being such a blork. Alex asks if she is on his side. Lorna says that she isn’t on anyone’s side, but that Alex is trying to be like Scott. He says that Scott is so serious that he feels he has to be too. She says that if Scott smiled his face would crack and that he is no role model. She says that he is wearing his head gear all the time and that he is becoming like that guy on “Doonesbury” that wears his helmet all the time. She tells him to blow off some steam. Guido tells Alex to come cruising for chicks with him. Lorna tells Guido to shut up. Rahne tells them to leave Alex alone. Val walks into the room and tells them all to drop it. She says that they are awake. Jamie and Multiple Man are restrained in chairs that stops them from making any impact that would let them multiple. Guido says to talk about your extreme forms of contraception. Both of the bound Jamies claim to be the real Jamie Madrox. Guido says, “One of these people is the real Jamie Madrox, and you’ll be invited to guess on… ‘To Tell the Mute.” Val tells Guido to shut up and asks Jaime what is happening. Jaime Madrox says that he wanted to get away from Muir Island, but that since he didn’t feel like arguing with Moira about it that he just left a dupe there to cover for him. Multiple Man says that he is very smooth. Jaime asks why he would join this mutant group and that he has turned down other memberships. He says that he did it because he was afraid of being reabsorbed. Multiple Man says that Muir Island was wrecked and that he was tired of hiding his head in the sand. He asks why Lorna is looking at him that way. He says that they can’t be falling for this. Guido says that he hates to say it, but that it is possible. Multiple Man says that Madrox is the dupe that is duping them. The team leaves the room and Multiple Man tells them not to leave him there with him.

Rahne says that they need a telepath, and that they are the only mutant team without a resident telepath. Val says, “Genetically challenged’ group Rahne”. Rahne just growls. Havok says that they don’t need a telepath and that people determine the truth all the time. He says that they need a polygraph expert and that they’ll probably need the best. Val says that she knows the best, and that he owes her two favors. She says that she will give him a call. Pietro asks what the favors were. Val says that the first was that she married him, and that the second was that she divorced him.

Jaime and Multiple Man tell one another that they’ll be on to him in no time. Jaime says that they are probably going to call a polygraph expert and that he is confident enough to take one.

An evil individual says that this is going perfectly. He wonders who to use his ricocheting powers on next. He says that first is was Quicksilver and then Madrox. He sees Guido and decides that he will be next.

Mutant Scum rating: 8 out of 10

 Review and pictures by The Leader

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