Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #215Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #215
Title: “Home is Where the Hurt Is”
Writer: Len Wein
Illustrators: Sal Buscema and Ernie Chan
Colors: Glynis Wein
Editor: Len Wein
Two gangsters brought Louie the Lip down to
the waterfront to “rub” him out. They figured that no
one would be there to hear his cries for help, or the shots that
ended the cries. Louie says that they can’t do this to him.
One says that they have no choice. The other says that it is just
business and nothing personal. They say that it is only their
job. Suddenly the Hulk climbs out of the water onto the
waterfront. Hulk says, “Hulk is wet! And Hulk is mad!” 
Hulk wants to
know what he was doing in the water. He says that he remembers
fighting “Split-Face” on a burning boat, and that there
was a big explosion. Hulk says that he doesn’t remember
anything else until now. The two gangsters turn to see the Hulk.
They say that they don’t know why he is sticking his nose
where it doesn’t belong, but that they are getting a bonus
for doing this job. They open fire on the Hulk. Hulk says that he
doesn’t know why puny humans are always attacking him with
their puny guns. Hulk asks why they want to make him mad. The
gangsters see that their bullets are having no effect. They run
to their car. They say that they can take care of Louie some
other time. Hulk says that they aren’t just going to shoot
at him and then run away. Hulk says that they tried to kill him,
and that they must pay. Hulk grabs the gangster’s trunk and
crunches it up in one hand. He spins and throws the car out into
the water. The two gangsters throw open their doors and jump out
into the water from their flying car. Louie tells Hulk that he
doesn’t know why he did it, but that he is beholden to him
for saving his life. Hulk asks, “So?” Louie says that
if he can ever put a few bucks on the right horse or something
like that for him to just let him know. Hulk grabs Louie’s
shirt and says that there is only one thing he can do for him.
Hulk says that he can leave him alone. Hulk tosses Louie over his
shoulder and into the water behind him.
On the SHIELD helicarrier, SHIELD agents are
running around frantically looking for an intruder. General Ross
asks them what is taking so long, and that if he were in charge
that they would have found him by now. The scientist Gaffer says
that looking for one man on a ship this size is like looking for
a needle in a haystack. An agent rushes in and tells Clay
Quatermain that they have the intruder cornered. Moments later,
Clay, Gaffer, and Ross stand outside the very core of the
helicarrier. They look into the master control room through a
window, and Clay asks how he got in there. The agent says that
they don’t know. He says that there was a momentary
blackout, and that when the power came back on that the crew was
sprawled all over the corridor and he was locked inside. Clay
asks how they are going to get him out. Gaffer says that he can
easily bypass the circuits, but when he touches the panel it
causes an electric feedback. Clay helps Gaffer up and says that
thankfully he is still alive. He says that whoever is in there
that he must have reversed the polarity of the circuits. Ross
asks how he has the know-how, and who he is. 
The giant form
rises from the chair and says, “Forgive our manners,
General… you’re absolutely right! We should have
introduced ourselves sooner! We are the Bi-Beast! Final survivor
of a great and ancient race! And by divine right or conquest we
claim this wondrous vessel of yours as our own! From this moment
forth, your helicarrier is our home!”
Hulk drudges down the street. He wonders why he is staying in the city that he hates. Hulk says that if he wanted to he could go away from there, but that everyplace He knows is just as bad. Jim Wilson calls out to Hulk and says that he knew if he searched the docks long enough that he would find him. Jim sees Hulk’s mood and says that it looks like he has lost his best friend. As Hulk starts to change he says, “Friend, Jim? Hulk has no friends… except you! Hulk is just tired, Jim… tired of always running… tired of always fighting… sometimes Hulk thinks maybe it would be best just to go to sleep and never wake up… and leave this hateful little world to… me. Robert Bruce Banner… professional victim.” Jim welcomes Bruce back and hands him the clothes he brought him. Bruce thanks Jim, but asks if he has a change of heart in there as well. Jim asks Bruce what is the matter. He says that Bruce almost sounds as depressed as his “big green alter ego”. Bruce tells Jim that he and the Hulk share more than the same body. He says that they share the same soul, and that sometimes he wonders if that isn’t the biggest curse of all.
Back on the helicarrier, agents are trying to get a laser to cut through the door leading into the master control room. One asks if they can do this any faster. Another says that they can’t if they don’t want the monster inside to know what they are doing. Gaffer asks Ross to hold the Bi-Beast’s attention long enough for them to cut through the door. Ross bangs on the window and says, “This is General Thaddeus E Ross, United States Air Force talking to you!” Ross demands to know who Bi-Beast is and where he came from. The top skull asks his skull brother if he can believe the humans’ insolence. The bottom says that he can’t, but that it amuses him to answer him. Bi-Beast tells Ross of the bird people that created him, and their demise which led to them to create Bi-Beast as a repository for their knowledge. He tells him of how he brought the Harpy and Hulk to the sky island for companionship, but that it also brought MODOK there. He says that MODOK mortally wounded him, but that he managed to destroy the sky island rather than letting it fall into MODOK’s hands. Bi-Beast says that he perished in the explosion. Ross asks Bi-Beast how he expects him to believe that he was killed when he is right there before him. Bi-Beast says that he would be dead if he were a normal creature of natural birth, but that he is the Bi-Beast, two beings in one. Bi-Beast says that their masters created two android beings and that he was the one that remained dormant. Bi-Beast says that as the sleeper that he absorbed all of their master’s knowledge, including their scientific know how. Bi-Beast says that when their brother was killed that of all of his memories were transferred into them. Bi-Beast says that they dropped into the ocean with the sky island’s destruction. Bi-Beast says that the gamma radiation that his capsule somehow absorbed led them to pick him up in the ocean. The top skull says that when they awoke on this vessel that they were ecstatic. The bottom says that this craft will be their new island in the sky, and the perfect place to wreck their vengeance. Ross asks what they mean. Bi-Beast says that Ross’ world is responsible for their world’s destruction, and that they intend to destroy his world in return. Bi-Beast says that nothing will stop them. They push a button and the laser that was trying to cut through the door starts firing wildly. One agent realizes that Bi-Beast knew all along what they were doing. Quartermain grabs Ross and Gaffer and takes them to safety.
Quatermain says that is as close as he wants to cut it. Gaffer asks what they are supposed to do now. He says that as long as Bi-Beast holds the master control room that nothing on the ship can be used against him. Ross says that they will have to lure him out of there, and that something the Bi-Beast said gave him an idea. Ross tells them to listen.
Jim walks with Bruce and asks him if he is sure that he wants to go back to his rooming house. He says that with the way his landlady and Kropotkin were yelling at him that he might be safer as the Hulk. Bruce tells Jim to bite his tongue. He says that he came to New York to try and build a life for himself, and that not even April Sommer’s tantrums will stop him. Out on the stairs, April is shouting at the magician. She says that he isn’t getting any of his things back until he starts paying his back rent. Bruce walks up and greets April. April asks what he is doing out there, and that he threw her out when he was supposed to be feeling sick. Bruce apologizes. He says that he started feeling better, and thought some fresh air might help him. Suddenly, Bruce is struck by a beam of light that starts pulling him into the air. April shouts that they have to save Bruce. Jim agrees and asks her how she plans to do that.
Bruce feels his heart pounding louder and louder as he goes higher and higher in the sky.
Ross compliments Gaffer and says that his
contraption grabbed Banner on the first try. Gaffer says that he
should be there any second. Quartermain says that “he”
is already there, and that he doesn’t look very happy about
it. 
Hulk is
floating in the ship. He asks where he is and why little men have
brought him there. Hulk sees Ross and says that this was his
doing. Hulk tells him to send him back, or he will smash them
all. Gaffer tells Hulk that he has to understand. Hulk says that
he understands all that he needs to understand. He grabs the wall
and tears a hole in it. Hulk says that he is leaving, but he
looks out and sees that he is up in the sky. Hulk says that Ross
had trapped him, and to let him go or he will crush them. Ross
says that Hulk had been making those threats for years, and that
they are going to see if he has the guts to back them up. Ross
starts to run. Hulk says that he will show Ross that he means
what he says. He runs after Ross and says that it will be the
last thing he ever sees. Gaffer asks Clay if Ross has gone crazy.
Clay says that he thinks that Ross knows exactly what he is
doing. Clay says that they have to back him up from their the
best they can.
Ross continues to run. He says that his plan is working, and that all he has to do is lead Hulk to Bi-Beast before Hulk catches him.
Gaffer sees Ross and Hulk on his monitor. Clay says that they had better call out their first diversion, and that Ross can’t run from Hulk forever.
Hulk tells Ross to run, and that he can’t escape him. Hulk says that when he catches him that he will regret what he has done. Ross turns the corner and runs past some SHIELD agents. The agents fire on Hulk and let Ross get some distance. Hulk says that Ross isn’t strong enough to fight him on his own, and that he needs other puny humans to do his fighting for him. Hulk says that all the puny humans in the world won’t save Ross from him. Hulk claps his hands and sends the agents flying. Hulk leaps over them after Ross. Gaffer drops some bars between Ross and Hulk, but Hulk just plows right through them. Ross runs and runs until he comes to a dead end. Ross realizes that it wouldn’t have made any difference, and that he couldn’t take another step. Hulk sees that he has Ross trapped now. Hulk asks Ross how it feels to be cornered and caged. Hulk asks Ross if he realizes now why he hates him so much. Hulk says that maybe he won’t smash Ross quickly and take the time to make him suffer a little longer. A metal door slams shut behind Hulk. As Hulk turns to look, Gaffer opens a trap door and Ross falls out of sight. Hulk turns back to see Ross is gone. Hulk starts smashing on the door that Ross was standing in front of.
Gaffer welcomes Ross back as he slides back to the room. He says that it looks like his plan is working. Ross tells him not to count it as a success yet.
Hulk smashes through the door. He sees
Bi-Beast and says, “You! Hulk knows you, Two-Heads!”
Hulk says that Two-Heads is his enemy like Ross is. Bi-Beast sees
the Hulk, and though they are surprised, they quickly recover.
Bi-Beast pushes a button. 
Lasers come out
of the walls and start to blast Hulk. Bi-Beast says that even if
the lasers can’t pierce Hulk’s skin that their heat
will boil his blood within him.
No Excuses rating: 9.5 out of 10
First I have to say that Sal and Ernie Chan are magnificent together. Chan really brings out the best in Sal’s work. Their Hulk and their Bi-Beast are incredible, and as always with Sal his storytelling is fantastic. 5 out of 5 for the art. Len does a great job with the story as well. It’s a set up issue to be sure, but Len brings back the Bi-Beast with remarkable ease and sets up a new confrontation for him. I wonder if the writer and the editor had any differences of opinion on how to approach this issue…
Review and pictures by The Leader