Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #280

Title: “Alone in a Crowd!”

Writer: Bill Mantlo

Penciller: Sal Buscema

Inker: Andy Mushynsky

Colors: Bob Sharen

Editor: Al Milgrom

Bruce Banner, in his Hulk form, walks out of his hotel room at midnight. He is surrounded by reporters. The reporters start asking questions and offering deals for exclusive interviews. Bruce asks how they got up there, and that the hotel had orders. One of the reporters asks Bruce if he has ever heard of freedom of the press. Bruce tells them that he made all the statements that he is going to make at yesterday’s parade. He asks if they weren’t there. One of the reporters says that the public is dying for intimate information about the man who was once a monster. Bruce asks how intimate they want. They ask if the Hulk is dead. They ask if he is going to join the Avengers. They ask if he can change back and forth at will. They ask if he plans to engage in gamma ray research. They ask about building more gamma bombs. They ask about his favorite actress, pistachio, and if it is easy being green. The photographers start snapping picture after picture. The flashes blind Bruce. He swings his fist and tells them to get the blazes out of there. The news people start to run, but then they remember that the Hulk isn’t a monster anymore, and that Bruce Banner wouldn’t hurt them. Bruce asks what they want to know. He answers all the questions as best as he can.

After all the questions cease, Bruce closes the doors. He says that he thought they would never leave. Bruce says that he can relax and be himself now as he powers down from his Hulk form into his human form. Rick Jones sits on a chair going through all the fan mail. Rick reads Bruce a few letters. He tells Bruce that there is even a new hit song called Green Fever. Bereet says that it is like something from an Earth movie. Bruce asks Rick if there is anything in the stack of mail from Betty. Rick says that if there is that he hasn’t gotten to it yet, but tells Bruce not to worry and says that she will come around sooner or later. He says that she doesn’t really have a choice and that the Hulk is there to stay. Bereet asks Bruce if that is true. She asks if he will keep becoming the Hulk, or if he will let the man Bruce Banner take over for a while. Bruce says that he doesn’t know and that everything is happening so fast. He mentions his amnesty and his worldwide acceptance. He says that he hasn’t had time to make any decisions. Bereet says that Bruce needs privacy and a chance to reflect. Bruce says that privacy seems to be an impossibility. He says that he can’t even leave his room without getting swamped by reporters. Bereet says that if Bruce wishes to leave to get dressed and that she will arrange it. Rick asks if she has something in her bag that will make Bruce invisible. Bereet reminds Rick that her bag is a spatial distorter, and that there is far more space within that without. Rick says that she kept her techno-art in there. Bereet says that since most of them were destroyed in the recent battle with the U-Foes that there is more than enough space to hold Bruce Banner. She slams her bag down on Bruce’s head. She flips her bag over and shows Rick that Bruce is inside the bag. Rick says that it is like a little universe. Bruce says that it looks big from where he is and asks Bereet if it is safe. Bereet says that it is safer than facing the media.

Bereet walks out with her bag. The reporters recognize her as the alien that was seen with the Hulk. They ask if she and Banner are an item. Bereet answers them in Krylorian and walks on. Outside she gets into a cab. She opens her bag and suddenly Bruce is sitting on the seat next to her.

Rick watches the cab drive off. He tells Bereet that she is okay in his book. He says that he thinks Bruce thinks so too, and that he has been all broken up since Betty walked out on him because she wanted a Bruce that was cured of being the Hulk, and not a Bruce that can control the Hulk. Rick says that he thinks that if she really loved Bruce that she wouldn’t have cared. Rick goes back to the mail. He opens an invitation from the Avengers to become a member. He wonders how She-Hulk would react to that since she is now an Avenger as well. He reads a congratulatory message from the Defenders and wonders how this new Hulk would fit into the group. He finds a postcard from Betty. She writes that she hopes that he is happy, but gives no return address. Rick wishes that if Betty isn’t in love with Bruce anymore that she would just leave him alone.

Outside the hotel window,  a figure silently flies onto the patio. Jackdaw takes out a canister. As she flies back into the air, a pinkish dust falls out and onto the patio and begins to stir and grow. Jackdaw says that her mission is done, and that her master awaits her. A beam stabs down from the heavens and carries Jackdaw aboard Omnivac. Leader commends Omnivac. Jackdaw tells Leader that her mission was accomplished. Leader says that he trusts it was better than her last aborted exercise. Jackdaw says that she did exactly as she was ordered. Leader says that he is sure she wouldn’t want to be disciplined again. He tells her that her Leader is pleased and that all that remains is to await their invited guests.

Bruce and Bereet arrive at a Manhattan restaurant. They are seated and the maitre’d seats them and asks what their pleasure is. Bruce says, “A good dinner, a good wine… and privacy!” He tells Banner that of course he will have it. The maitre’d tells one of the waiters that it is Bruce Banner and to make the proper preparations. Bruce tells Bereet that he really needed this. He asks if she knows how long it has been since he’s been able to sit down to a decent meal without being afraid of being interrupted by someone hunting the Hulk. Bereet says that she actually does and asks if he has forgotten that she watched his torment from afar for years, and created fictional narratives about the Hulk. Bruce asks if there was any part of his life that wasn’t observed. Bereet says that there wasn’t. Bruce turns to see a ruckus. He sees all the waiters bringing out food, and all the food has been colored green. The reporters swamp the table. One of them notes that the ice cream is pistachio. The maitre’d says that he hopes Banner doesn’t mind, and that when he recognized him he thought he would want to meet the press. Bruce asks if he arranged this after he specifically requested privacy. Bruce starts yelling. Bereet tells Bruce to remain calm. Bruce asks why he should remain calm. He says that calm or angry that he controls the change. He says that he can become the Hulk whenever he wants to, and that right now he wants to. Bruce tears out of his clothes as he changes into the Hulk. He turns the table over and asks if he wanted publicity for his restaurant. He says that he will give him publicity beyond his wildest dreams. Bruce says that they wanted to see the Hulk and that is what they got. As he walks out he tells them that he doesn’t like pistachio. One of the reporters takes a picture as Bruce smashes through the wall to leave. The maitre’d is fired as Bereet runs after Bruce.

Bereet catches up to Bruce on a lonely corner. She tells Bruce that he was right, and that their actions were unspeakable. Bruce and Bereet walk into the park. As they walk Bereet tells Bruce how it will take the world time to get used to his new situation… just as it will take him time to get used to the world. Bruce calms down and he and Bereet kiss.

As dawn arrives, Bruce Banner, clad in his purple tights, and Bereet walk back into their hotel. The man at the front desk says that he heard about last night and assures Bruce that he won’t be disturbed again. In a better mood, Bruce and Bereet get into the elevator. Bruce says that he knows that this will take time. Bereet says that she will stay and help if he will let her. Outside the elevator, they kiss again. Bruce opens the door to find the insides carpeted with some kind of pink dust. Bereet asks what it is. Rick tries to shout out to them, but his mouth is covered by a pink hand. Bruce says that he has seen this before. The dust begins to grow and grab onto Bruce. Bruce says that they are called humanoids, and that they serve the Leader. Suddenly Bruce is swarmed over with humanoids. Bereet shouts for him to fight back. Bruce, as the Hulk, swats the humanoids off of him. Bruce says that he thought their creator drowned in a flood of gamma-irradiated water in the water conduits below Manhattan. Bruce tells them to give the Leader a message when they see him and decks two humanoids. He says that he isn’t the same Hulk Leader hounded before, and to stay out of his life. Bruce smashes two humanoids against the ground and couch. He grabs the couch and swats more away.

On the other side of the wall, a woman tells her husband in the bathroom that a strange man just flew through her room. The man says that she is always hoping.

Bereet is grabbed along with Rick. Bruce takes note. He swats the humanoids on him off and then runs after the humanoids trying to carry Rick and Bereet away. He announces to Leader that he is the one he is after and to leave his friends alone. A beam of light comes down and pulls the humanoids, Rick, and Bereet away. Bruce says that he doesn’t know where they’ve been taken and so he can’t leap after them. He says that he can deal with the rest of the Leader’s synthetic kidnappers. Angry, Banner feels his strength increase as he charges into the humanoids. However, analyzing that fact cools the anger that gives him that strength. The humanoids pile onto Hulk. Leader’s voice says, “So it is true! The Hulk is dead! It is Bruce Banner alone whom I must face!” Bruce sees Leader’s face holographically beamed onto the face of one of the humanoids. Leader says that he would like to see more of this new Hulk in action. He says that he has devised a little test. Bruce asks what kind of test. Leader says that he has Bruce’s friends aboard his orbiting space station, Omnivac. He tells Bruce to rescue them if he is able and show him what kind of opponent he must deal with. Bruce tries to tell Leader that people aren’t pieces in some perverse game, but by then the image is gone and the humanoids are reverting into dust. Bruce says that he didn’t want to see his friends endangered by those that want to test his strength. Bruce says that he isn’t cut out to be a super hero. He says that all he wants is peace.

No Excuses rating: 8 out of 10

Review and pictures by The Leader

RETURN TO HULK ISSUES

RETURN TO NO EXCUSES

RETURN TO LEADER'S LAIR