Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #342

Title: “No Human Fears”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Todd McFarlane

Inker: Todd McFarlane

Colors: Petra Scotese

Editor: Bob Harras

Fiona Webster walks down the street at night thinking about her lousy job and how she hates people calling her “perky”. A voice calls out to her, “Barbara!” Fiona turns and tries to say that her name isn’t Barbara, but then she sees Half-Life. Half-Life asks if she doesn’t recognize him. He says that he thought that he lost her forever. He hugs her and says that now that he has his beautiful wife again that he can live again. Fiona quickly dies in Half-Life’s hands. He tosses her aside and says that she isn’t Barbara. He says that he sees her over there and calls out to another woman for Barbara to wait up.

The Leader sits with his feet up while looking at a large screen with the Hulk fighting on it. Leader is speaking into a recording device. He tells Hulk that he has noticed how so many “villains” feel that it is necessary to explain their plans just before they reach their climax. Leader says that when his plans reach fruition that he hopes to be otherwise engaged. He tells Hulk that when he hears this tape later on to accept his apologies. Leader says that he would like to talk with him now, but that he can see on his screen that Hulk is busy. Leader walks by three tubes where people’s feet are suspended within. He says, “Two hours ago, several women, none of whom was named Barbara, died. Their deaths will seem pointless to most. But to a being like myself… there was meaning. There was purpose.” Leader walks by a large robot. He says, “Shakespeare said the world was a stage. He was wrong. The world is a puzzle. But it takes an intellect such as mine to see just how the pieces fit.” Leader says that he digresses. He says that Hulk’s mind is stronger than it used to be, but that he had better proceed chronologically or he might lose him. Leader says that right now Hulk is battling Half-Life, but that hours ago he was at his side. Leader says that he was designing one of the agents that will steal a gamma bomb for him when Half-Life said that he would steal the bomb for him. Leader asked Half-Life why he would trust him with such a mission and that his last mission for him was a complete botch. Leader says that Half-Life’s pleas were so sincere, and annoying, that Leader decided to give him a chance. He said that if he could kill Hulk for him that he would let him steal a gamma bomb for him. Leader says that he figured if nothing else that it would be a chance to see the new Hulk in action. Leader mounted a camera to Half-Life’s armor. Half-Life told Leader that he could attach whatever he wanted and asked what there was to be afraid of after you die. Leader said, “You can’t even begin to imagine.” Leader sent Half-Life off with his matter transmitter, which saved Leader’s life not long before. Leader says that Hulk is probably wondering how he knew where he was. Leader says that by the time Hulk hears this that it won’t matter. Leader says that when he absorbed the gamma radiation from Rick Jones that he established a psychic link with him. Leader says that he can’t control him like he does others, but that everything Rick knows, he knows. Leader says that as soon as Half-Life had “sated himself on the life force of several more hapless normals” that he went after Hulk.

Hulk asks Alan if Man-Bull is in protective custody yet. Alan says that he is and that his fellow farmers promised to keep Hulk out of it long enough for him to break into the government files in order to find where they are keeping the gamma bombs. Alan says that cracking into SHIELD is way too hard, but that he used to break into government files before breakfast back when he went to MIT. He says that he can’t believe he is risking everything to get involved in this insanity. Clay says that sometimes they just have to do things that they are afraid of. Clay asks Hulk if that isn’t right. Hulk says that he wouldn’t know. Alan finds the information. He says that there are 5000 gamma bombs being stored in a military base in Yuma, Arizona. Alan says that he thinks it is underground.

Inside, June is cleaning in the kitchen. She is thinking that she wishes Alan would tell her what he is doing, but that if he is just trying to protect her that it is no reflection on her. Suddenly, the window fills with the visage of Half-Life. He looks at June and says, “Barbara! At last!” Half-Life breaks through the window and June screams.

Hulk smashes through the wall and asks, “Now what?”

Half-Life tells “Barbara” not to be afraid and that it is just her loving husband Tony. He says that he understands why she doesn’t recognize him. He says that he was caught in a gamma bomb explosion and that he has been half dead ever since. Half-Life reaches for June, but Hulk pulls him out by the leg and smashes him against the ground. Hulk is asking if there is always this much action around here, but then he notices that he is feeling weak like he did against Half-Life. Half-Life leaps off the ground and grabs Hulk in a hug. He starts draining Hulk’s power and says that he can forget about ripping him apart. He says that he is already too weak to damage his new armor.

Leader says that as he dictates that Hulk is fighting for his life. Leader says that if he survives that he will hear this. Leader says that it may comfort Hulk to know that he isn’t the only one with problems right now. He says to take Agent Trump, LaRoquette, and Saunders for example.

LaRoquette says that press conference was a disaster. Trump says that at least his greatest fear, that Nick Fury stick his nose into this, hasn’t come to light. Suddenly Nick Fury says, “Hiya Trump… just hit town. Wanna tell me what the devil’s going on here?” LaRoquette steps forward and tells Fury that with all due respect that he should stay out of their affairs. He says that Bruce Banner and the Hulk have to be stopped. Fury asks Trump who these “bozos” are. Trump smacks his head and says that they are civilian advisors. Fury says that he wants the out. LaRoquette says that he can’t do that.

LaRoquette and Saunders are sitting on a park bench. LaRoquette says that he was sure that Fury couldn’t do that.

Half-Life tells Hulk that he is going to die, and that with the radiation he absorbs from him that he will live. Rick hits Half-Life in the head with a shovel. Hulk tosses Half-Life off him and Half-Life shouts, “wheeeee!” as he flies through the air. Hulk stumbles to his knees. He says that Half-Life makes him weak. He says that strength is all he has. He says that he will fight anyone that is strong, but that he can’t fight someone that makes him weak. Hulk says that they got the information that they need and that they should get out of there. Alan says that he can’t leave that creature running around and that it obviously came there for him. Alan says that it sounds like Hulk is scared. Hulk screams, “SCARED? Scared if for humans! I’m the Hulk!” Half-Life says that Hulk got his second wind. Hulk says that Half-Life can only drain his strength if he gets to close. Hulk rips up a telephone pole and says that he will only touch him with a ten foot pole. Hulk hits Half-Life, but with the strength Half-Life took from Hulk he tears the pole into shreds. Half-Life leaps at Hulk, but he hits the ground when Hulk leaps into the air. Half-Life looks into the air at Hulk and says, “O’ Julius Caesar! Thou art mighty yet! And now he comes to bury me, not to praise me.” Hulk lands on Half-Life and drives him into the ground. Half-Life reaches out of the ground and grabs Hulk’s leg. Hulk says that he has to escape. Half-Life says, “He’s trying to get away from me! He’s afraid of me! The Hulk is afraid!”

Leader sits in his chair. He says that he doesn’t really expect Half-Life to win. He says that he is far too single-minded in thinking that he can someday return to his life as a humble English professor. Leader says that he has a plan, but that is all. Leader says that he doesn’t have “a” plan. He says that he has many plans, and that if one of them doesn’t work out that another can take its place. Leader says that there are so many pieces to the puzzle. He says to take Betty Banner for instance. He says that he has been tracking her through use of her credit cards, and that he has recently decided to bring her to him. He says that one of his operatives commented that she didn’t appear well. Leader says that he has sent one of his androids out to pick her up. He says that if the puzzle is to take shape that one has to be sure that all the pieces are at hand. Leader says, “You know, now that I think on it, perhaps it’s not a puzzle, after all. Perhaps it’s more like a game of chess. Yes, I rather like that. Mrs. Banner as one of my pawns. A constant, ever-shifting game. And while my androids gathered two more knights, another of my pawns is locked in battle with a king.”

Half-Life, full and muscular, stands over a thin and weak Hulk. Half-Life says, “Great Caesar fell! O! What a fall was there, my countrymen!” He tells Hulk that he is so weak that he can’t even stand while he has become so powerful that he doesn’t even need to touch him to sap his strength. Hulk thinks to himself that he is weak. He says that for the first time in his life he doesn’t hate Banner… he pities him. Half-Life says that once Hulk dies that he can be human again. He says that he can go home to Barbara and be a teacher again. He says that he can be Tony Masterson again. Half-Life says that Hulk’s human half did this too him and that it is ironic that his death will restore him to what he was. Half-Life kicks Hulk and tells him that Death’s hooves approach. Rick is about to run to help Hulk, but Hulk tells him to stay back. He says that Half-Life is his. Half-Life tosses off another quote and Hulk says that he never quits. He says that he is still tossing quotes around like he is a teacher. Hulk asks if Half-Life wants him to admit that he is afraid of dying and then does so. Hulk says that the whole reason he hates Banner is because he is afraid that he will find a way to get rid of him. Hulk says that if this is it for him that he won’t go out whimpering and begging. He says that Half-Life will be the one begging for death. Half-Life says that he doesn’t know what he means. Hulk tells him that he is living in a dream world if he thinks that he can just start over. Hulk says that he will spend his days terrifying people and being afraid of when the power he took from him will wear off. Hulk says that if death is here for him that he isn’t afraid, but that Half-Life will be afraid of living. Half-Life asks how he can live his life afraid of deteriorating into the weak wretched body that he was. Hulk says that he did it all the time and that it is Half-Life’s turn now. Half-Life says that isn’t what he wants. Hulk says that it is his anyway. Half-Life starts to glow as he shouts, “Noooo!” Half-Life explodes. Hulk is sitting on the ground, restored to his normal self. Rick asks where Half-Life is. Hulk says that he let himself go. A skeleton lies on the ground in Half-Life’s armor.

In daylight, Alan says that he will wait until they are gone and then call the authorities to come and pick up the remains. Alan shakes Clay’s hand and tells him not to stay away so long next time. June tells him to only come for visits in the day though. Clay says that he can’t thank Alan enough. Alan tells him to keep his head down while he is out there protecting America. Clay and Alan hug. Rick says, “Awww…”, but Alan tells him to shut up. As they drive off, Rick tells Clay that he turned the holographic projector on and that they look like a Pizza Hut van. Clay asks where Bruce is. Rick says that he is sleeping and that he had a busy night.

Leader yawns. He says that he is guessing from the final images from his camera that Half-Life won’t be coming back any time soon. He says that he failed as he knew he would. Leader says that if killing the Hulk was his only goal that he could easily kill Bruce Banner despite his “ludicrous ‘bodyguards”. Leader says that he has never really had any quarrel with Bruce though. He says that it is the Hulk that has always defeated him and that it must be the Hulk that dies. Leader says that he will do so shortly after listening to the tape and that anything else would be unworthy of the Leader. Leader stretches and gets up. He says that he needs some sleep. “A dreamless sleep since, unlike Half-Life and the Hulk, I’ve left human concerns and fears behind. ‘A slumber did my spirit seal; I had no human fears: she seemed a thing that could not feel the touch of earthly years.” Leader walks over to the containers again. He says, “Tell me, Mrs. Banner, Dr. LaRoquette, Professor Saunders… have you ever read Wordsworth? Ah, well… even if you had, you couldn’t tell me… could you? Not in your state of suspended ani… how odd. The life-monitors are picking up four life readings, but there are only three of you. How is… of course. This game becomes more and more entertaining every day.”

No Excuses rating: 10 out of 10

This has to be one of my all time favorite issues of the Hulk ever. I’m always a sucker for the “villain” issue, but especially this villain, and especially on this- his most successful plan ever. The fight between Hulk and Half-Life is cool, and the foreshadowing of the Leader is outstanding in this issue. To top it all off, Betty is pregnant. How’s that for interesting? Todd McFarlane does an outstanding job with this issue. You can really see him coming into his own as he prepares to leave the Hulk for Spider-Man. His shapes, scale, and storytelling are fantastic.

Review and pictures by The Leader

RETURN TO HULK ISSUES

RETURN TO NO EXCUSES

RETURN TO LEADER'S LAIR