Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #349

Title: “Warzone”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Jeff Purves

Inker: Terry Austin

Colors: Petra Scotese

Editor: Bobbie Chase

CONTINUED FROM WEB OF SPIDER-MAN #44

Hulk points his finger at Charlie. He says that she is the one that hurt Marlo and wrecked his evening. He says he is going to wreck hers. Spider-Man is still thinking about the fact that the Hulk is supposed to be dead. Alpha says that he says that all he wants to do is turn Charlie into Swiss cheese. Hulk says that is fine with him so long as Charlie gets hers. Spider-Man says that no one is killing anyone. He shoots his web at Alpha’s gun, but Hulk blocks it with his arm. Fixit tells Spidey to keep his webbed nose out of it. Hulk says that now he has goop all over his good coat. He says that the broad hurt a girl he likes and that she is going to pay for that. Hulk says that guy said that he would do it and that’s fine. He says that maybe they will kill each other and that they’ll both be out of his hair. He says that either way Spider-Man is staying out of it. As Spider-Man tries to web Hulk again, Alpha and Charlie are running for it. Spidey hits Alpha with a tracer. Hulk pulls some webbing off his coat and says that he is starting to get hacked off. Spider-Man is about to take after them, but Hulk calls out to him. Spider-Man tells him to stay down there and he won’t get hurt. Hulk says not to worry about it and that he will be right up. Hulk leaps at Spider-Man, but he misses and smashes into the building Spider-Man was on. Spider-Man watches Alpha shooting at Charlie, but Charlie blocks the shots with a shield. Spider-Man is about to go after them again, but suddenly large pieces of cars start getting thrown out of the building. Fixit says that Spider-Man wouldn’t want him to keep tossing pieces toward the street. Fixit tells him to come into the garage where it is cramped and Spider-Man can’t run. He says otherwise he can go outside and help the pedestrians play ‘dodge the car parts’. Spider-Man throws a hunk of car at Hulk, but it bounces off. Spider-Man says that he doesn’t know how, but asks Hulk if that isn’t him. Hulk says, “Egad, no! I’ve been found out! I have to escape!” Hulk leaps through the ceiling. Spider-Man is wondering what that was all about when Hulk suddenly smashes through the ceiling and hits Spidey on the way down. Hulk says that it was nice of him to wait around.

Charlie tells Alpha to forget it and that he never could take her. She throws a knife and sticks it into his arm. Alpha pulls it out. Charlie charges into a chapel. She tells all the “would-be marrieds” that this would be a good time for a mass exit. The preacher asks what is happening. Charlie says that she is running for her life and that she suggests they do the same. Alpha’s bullets fly by her.

Delta watches from his perched position. He says that Alpha is going to use up all his ammo. Delta looks over and sees Spider-Man punching the Hulk. He says that he hopes Spider-Man gets his head handed to him. He says that Alpha and Charlie will put one anther out of commission and that he will only have to worry about… Delta turns and is shot in the chest. Bravo stands there with a smoking gun in his hand.

Gold is congratulating himself on his next plan against Berengetti. Suddenly two men are standing in his door. One man is standing in a long purple overcoat. The other shorter man is wearing a blue suit. Tony says that he wasn’t expecting them. The man in the suit asks Tony how things are going in Vegas. Tony says that it is going great, and that he was going to ask him out in a few weeks to see his progress. The man says that they have been watching his progress, or lack of it, and that they are very dissatisfied. He reminds Gold that they told him that taking control of Vegas was a very important test for him. He says that Tony has screwed it up and so they are taking control themselves. Gold says that they told him that they wouldn’t get involved. He says that they owe him for all the work he has done for them. The man in the purple overcoat shoots Tony Gold in the stomach and kills him.

Spider-Man punches Hulk three times in the face. Hulk says that Spider-Man thinks he is cute punching him and then leaping out of range. Hulk slams his hands together. Spider-Man clutches his ears. Hulk punches Spider-Man and says that he has a wider range. Spider-Man is sent flying. He says that was a good shot as he webs back at Hulk. He says that his head will be ringing for a week, and that it will sound exactly like this. Spider-Man pulls himself back with the webs and kicks Hulk right in the face.

Delta is on the ground below where he was shot. He says that his head hurts and that Bravo’s bazooka packs a wallop. He wonders where Bravo went.

Bravo flags down a guy in an Isuzu. He says that he has always wanted one. He tosses the guy out and drives away. He gives the guy his word that he will bring it back. Bravo spots Alpha on his way out. He says that the will get him later and that he looks kind of busy.

Alpha kicks in the door. He starts to peek around, but Charlie shoots three arrows through the door. She says those might have missed, but the next ones won’t. She says that he is out of ammo and that she counted the shots. Alpha says, “Counted the shots. From a machine. Sure you did.” Alpha tries to shoot, but he is out of ammo. He laughs and says that Charlie really has him… if only she was the one that can throw sharp objects, but that she can’t. Alpha picks up a candelabra and launches it through her chest.

Hulk and Spider-Man hear Charlie’s scream. Spider-Man asks what that was, and Hulk says that he thinks it was c-sharp. Spider-Man asks how he can joke, but then sees Charlie dead on the ground. Spider-Man says that he blew it and that she is dead. He asks Hulk if he is satisfied now. Hulk says, “Yeah, I’m satisfied.” Spider-Man asks if that is it. Hulk says that it is. He says that he didn’t like her and that now she is gone. He says it isn’t his problem anymore. Spider-Man says that he is going to track down the animal that did this, and that Hulk can rot in Hades. Hulk stands there looking at Charlie.

Delta is hiding in the desert. Bravo gets out of the Isuzu and calls out to Delta. He says that he is ready when Delta is. Bravo says that this is boring, and that he promised that guy he would bring back his 4x4. Suddenly a grenade lands in the front seat. Bravo says, “Delta, no! Not the Isuzu!” The grenade explodes and Bravo leaps away from it. Bravo tries to get up and asks where his bazooka is. Delta says that it is over here. Delta says that of all the members of Warzone that Bravo is his favorite. He says that he is fun to drink with and very predictable. He says that he knew when he threw his bazooka the one way that he knew Bravo would run the other. Delta says that he will let him run a little bit before he shoots him and moves on to Alpha.

Alpha sits on a sign on top of a building. He says that he is glad he found that ammo store and restocked. He says that it was careless of him. He says that he hopes the store owner won’t mind waking up with a broken jaw. A voice says, “I’m sure he won’t if you won’t.” Alpha turns in time to get kicked off the sign by Spider-Man.

A man stands over Charlie’s body and asks if anyone has called an ambulance yet. Charlie’s eyes open up and asks why they would want one of those noisy things. Everyone runs away and Charlie guesses that maybe it was her breath as she pulls the candelabra pole out of her chest. She says that she is out and that Alpha got her fair and square. Hulk lands behind her and says that he knew it. He says that he knew something was up when he didn’t see blood all around. Hulk asks Charlie if she wants to tell him what is going on. Charlie says, “Not especially, no.” Hulk grabs her by the throat and says, “Let me rephrase that. Tell me or else…”

Alpha says that he is going to fill Spider-Man full of holes. Spider-Man says that he is so scared that he can’t hold still for his bullets. Spider-Man webs up the end of Alpha’s weapon and then hits him. Alpha says that his webbing might work against conventional weapons, but that it won’t slow his ammo down. Alpha fires and blows out most of the support struts holding up a large sign. Spidey says that hundreds will die if he lets it fall. Spidey webs up what he can, but then has to grab it to keep it up. He says that the thing is very heavy, and that he has to move slow or the top half will snap off. Alpha tells him to take all the time he needs as he lines Spidey up in his sights. Hulk lands behind Alpha and says that it looks like he has him cold. Alpha says that he does, but then wonders who wants to know. Hulk says that he does. He turns Alpha around. Alpha fires into Hulk, but the bullet bounces right off. Hulk tears Alpha’s robotic arms off. Hulk turns to Spider-Man and asks if he is ticklish. Spidey tells him not to. Spider-Man tells Hulk that he swears he won’t tell anyone that he saw him if he will only help him save the people below. Hulk says, “Yeah, you’re really into helping people, aren’t you?” Hulk grabs the sign with one hand and puts the sign back in place. Spidey thinks to himself that Hulk is smaller, but that he still has more raw power than just about anyone. Spidey asks where Alpha is. Hulk waves Alpha’s arms at Spider-Man and tells him not to worry about it since he is unarmed. Spider-Man asks what is going on and Hulk says that he is glad he asked.

Delta tells Bravo that this is getting tedious. He says that he expected him to get up and try to fight by now. Bravo asks if it isn’t predictable enough. Delta says that frankly it isn’t. He says that at Bravo’s age that it is too late for him to turn over a new leaf. He says that his strength and cheerful stubbornness have always been his best assets, and that he hasn’t been hampered with things like cleverness or strategy. Delta says that it is nice he cares, but that if he has to know… he has been planning ahead. Bravo pushes a button and weapons come out of all the surrounding cacti. Bullets blow through Delta. Bravo says that he wins a he grabs the amulet.

Spider-Man asks if this was all over an amulet. Hulk says that it is magic or something as inane. He says that it makes them faster and stronger than they already are. He says that they discovered it while working together, but couldn’t decide who got to keep it. He says that they meet once a year and have a war game over it. He says that if they are put out of action that they lose. He says that it is probably over by now. Spider-Man asks where the cyborg mercenaries came from. Hulk asks who cares so long as they go back there. Spider-Man says that he does and that Hulk should to. Hulk asks if that is so. Spider-Man says that he used to be like Hulk, only concerned with himself, but that he has learned that they have to help others when they can. He says that Hulk knows it too and that’s why he helped. He says that people would have gotten hurt if it weren’t for them. Hulk says, “Maybe, but there’s something you’re ignoring. Namely if you hadn’t started fighting Alpha that sign wouldn’t have been falling and people wouldn’t have been endangered. So if you help, people can get hurt, and if you don’t help, people can still get hurt. Makes you feel pretty useless, doesn’t it?” Hulk leaps off and says, “That’s why I showed up. So I could rub your nose in that.”

Alpha is drinking out of a straw because he has no arms. He says that he feels like an idiot. Charlie asks if he will be able to regrow them for that African junket they discussed. Alpha says that he will. Delta says that Bravo is getting tricky in his old age. He asks where they are going next year and suggests Orlando.

Hulk gets back home. He says that he is hungry and thinks about ordering a dozen steaks. He picks up the phone and starts to talk to room service, but a voice tells Hulk to delay his meal until they have had an opportunity to chat. Hulk sees Dr. Doom standing there. Doom says that he can consider that doctor’s orders.

CONTINUED IN FANTASTIC FOUR #320

No Excuses rating: 8 out of 10

Review and pictures by The Leader

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