Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #350Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #350
Title: “Before the Fall”
Writer: Peter David
Penciller: Jeff Purves
Inker: Terry Austin
Colors: Petra Scotese
Editor: Bobbie Chase
CONTINUED FROM FANTASTIC FOUR #320
The gray Hulk lies on the ground with Thing standing over him. The Savage Hulk asks why Thing is staring at him and says that he thought Thing wanted to fight him. Thing says that he knew it and that no matter what they said that the Hulk wasn’t dead. Thing asks how he survived the gamma bomb explosion. Savage Hulk asks if Thing wants to talk or fight. Savage Hulk says that he thinks that Thing is scared of him. Thing says that ever since his strength increased that he has been dying for a piece of him. Thing says that beating on gray monsters is okay for an appetizer, but that it is time for the main course. Savage Hulk ducks Thing’s roundhouse and hits him with an uppercut. Thing is sent hurtling into a building. He lands on the ground and says that he barely felt that. Savage Hulk leaps into the air. Thing says that he has a lot to pay Hulk back for and that it is going to feel great. Savage Hulk says that he is going to turn Rock Man into pebbles. Thing punches Savage Hulk in the face.
Fixit struggles to his feet. He says that he feels like he has been through a cuisinart. He looks up and sees Thing battling what seems to be the Savage Hulk. Doom calls out to Hulk. Hulk says that now Doom shows up, and that Doom didn’t tell him how much stronger Thing had become. Doom asks if Hulk would have believed him, but Hulk admits that he probably wouldn’t have. He asks if he is going crazy or if that is him fighting the Thing. Doom helps Hulk up and says to come with him. He says that all will be explained. Hulk says that he gave it everything he had and that it didn’t even slow Thing down. He says that he doesn’t care how strong Thing has gotten and that if he wasn’t such a weakling that he never could have done this to him. Hulk says that next to Thing he is puny.
Savage Hulk hits Thing and tells him to fall down. Thing catches Savage Hulk’s punch and says that the only way he will put him down is if he bores him to sleep. Thing punches Savage Hulk twice and sends him flying into Radio City Musical Hall’s marquee. Thing says that Hulk may have been hot stuff once, but that his time is over. Savage Hulk smashes through the wall and lands on stage. Thing comes in after him.
Hulk says, “Grimm’s fighting a stupid robot?” Doom says that the robot isn’t stupid, and that it is on par with something that he would have created himself. Doom says that he tracked its origin and that it appeared in New York several years ago and that it was charged with cosmic energy. He says that it was dispatched by beings that call themselves the Eternals. Doom says that it may have stayed in the sewer if he had not tracked it down. He says that he found it there though it was devoid of cosmic power. Doom says that it was salvageable and that he reassembled it. Doom says that if he ever meets the robot’s creator that he would shake his hand before obliterating him. Doom says that once he put the robot back together that he put him back in the sewers until he needed it. Doom says that when he saw Thing beating him that he dispatched it. Hulk asks if Doom was giving him a breather. Doom says that he was correcting an error. Doom says that he knows that Hulk’s strength elevates, but that his base is too low to keep Grimmm from beating him. Doom says that he hates to admit it but that this was a mistake. He says that Thing’s confidence has increased while Hulk’s has decreased. Doom says that Hulk should just go back to Las Vegas. Hulk gets mad and says that he can beat Thing anytime, anywhere. Doom starts to say that Thing’s strength is too great, but Hulk cuts him off and says that strength isn’t everything… winning is.
The Hulk robot and Thing continue battling.
Thing says that Hulk isn’t winning this time and that he has
waited too long to beat him. The robot says that Thing will have
to keep waiting. Thing says goodbye to Hulk. The robot asks where
it is going. Suddenly the Hulk robot is blasted through the wall.
Thing walks out of the building and says that something about
this isn’t right. Thing says that this is a decent fight,
but that all of Hulk’s punches feel the same. Thing asks
Hulk what happened to him getting stronger as he got madder. The
robot says that it is strong enough to beat Thing. Thing tells it
to take its best shot. The robot punches Thing three times and
Thing says, “I shoulda known. Shoulda known yer showin’
up was too lucky. You’re not th’ Hulk” Thing trips
the robot and leaps onto Hulk’s chest. Thing says that Hulk
is probably just a “crummy robot”. Thing starts
pressing his fists into Hulk’s chest. “Hulk” tries
to protest, but 
Thing just
keeps pushing until his fists break through to the mechanical
insides. Thing says that he knew it. Thing starts ripping the
robot apart and says that this has to be Doom’s doing.
Fixit is watching Thing. He thinks that he has to admit that he can’t take the Thing strength for strength, and that he has been tackling this all wrong. Hulk decides that his advantage is that he knows who he is fighting , but that Thing does not. Hulk says that if he stops working like a slugout artist and starts concentrating on his strengths and Thing’s weaknesses “… I can still take him. I hope.”
Thing is calling out Doom when he sees Fixit standing before him. Thing says that he is probably a robot as well. Thing starts running toward Hulk and tells him to take the same thing that he gave to his buddy. Hulk bounds over a fence into Central Park and says that Thing will have to catch him first and that with the extra weight he is carrying that he won’t be able to. Fixit says that now the sun has set and that gives him more strength and endurance. Hulk says that he would almost pity Thing if he didn’t hate his guts. Thing smashes through the wall, but when he gets through he doesn’t see Hulk anywhere. Hulkl drops out of a tree and lands on Thing’s back. Thing stands up and Hulk hits him three times. Thing gets up but once again he can’t find the “grey guy”. Thing hears a roar and turns to see Hulk standing far away. Thing starts running towards him. He figures Doom must have built a matter transmitter in him that allows him to teleport. Thing sees Hulk hide behind some trees and so he rips up a tree and knocks all the other trees over. Thing emerges from the knocked over trees and sees that the Hulk is standing far away from him again.
Twenty minutes later, Thing is still running after Hulk. He says that he is getting sick of this. He says that he was made for fighting not for a track meet. Thing says, “Okay, ugly! I saw ya duck inta that grove of trees!” Thing says that he is just going to stand there and wait for him. Thing feels someone tap him on the shoulder. Thing turns to tell whoever it is that he doesn’t sign autographs when Fixit punches Thing into the trees he was standing before. Thing gets up and says that he never took his eyes off of him and asks how he got behind him. Thing falls into Hulk’s hole and realizes that he dug behind him. Thing says that he doesn’t care how tired he is. He says that he is going to get his “gray butt” even if he has to level Central Park to do it.
Forty-five minutes later, Thing is standing on a grassy field with dozens of trees knocked all over the place. He sees the Hulk standing far off in the field. Thing says that he never seems to get tired, but then a robot really wouldn’t get tired. Thing says that he is tired after fighting the gray guy, the fake Hulk, and then running for an hour. Thing says that this is a matter of pride now. Thing stops sucking wind and starts running again. This time the “gray robot” isn’t moving. Thing says that finally he will be able to clobber it. Thing runs faster and faster as he screams and closes in on the Hulk. Hulk steps to the side and knocks Thing into the water. Hulk calls Thing a dope and says that the last time he checked that rocks didn’t float.
At the bottom of the lake, Thing’s weight is pulling him into the sludge. He says that at least he took a breath before he fell in. He says that should give him an hour or so to wade out. Suddenly Hulk is on Thing’s back. Thing wonders how he found him so fast, but then realizes that he is orange and that he couldn’t miss him if he tried. Hulk grabs Thing and puts him in the Heimlich mmaneuver. He forces Thing’s air out and the water to flood in. Thing realizes he is drowning and boxes Hulk’s ears. Hulk decides to let Thing get up to the shore. He says that he wants him to realize what has happened.
Thing crawls onto the land gasping for air.
He sees the Hulk standing before him and says that it figures he
would already be there. He asks how he covered the distances.
Hulk looks down at Thing with his arms folded and says, “I
jumped.” Thing recognizes the voice instantly. He says,
“That… voice! Not… possible…” 
Hulk shouts,
“Anything is possible!” and drives Thing’s face
into the ground with one final punch. Hulk stands over Thing and
says, “You never could take me, Grimm” as Thing passes
out.
Doom stands behind Hulk and says that was most impressive. He says that he trusts that Hulk is no longer feeling puny. He says that he trusts that he can call on Hulk to help him recapture Latveria and that he will be given power beyond his imaginings for his help. Hulk tells Doom to call him when it happens and that he might come, but that if he does that it will be Doom who winds up working for him. Doom and Hulk both walk from each other thinking that the other is a fool. Hulk looks at Thing and says that nine times out of ten that Thing’s strength is probably enough, but that it is too bad for Thing that he was the tenth time. Hulk turns to Doom, but Doom is already gone. Hulk says that he guesses he is leaping home to Vegas.
Hulk is leaping along and says that he should be back before the sun comes up. Hulk says that he recognizes the area below as the location of Avengers mansion. He says that he hasn’t been there “since I first helped found that bunch of losers.” He lands in the area and sees that the building looks like it has been “bulldozed”. Hulk is about to leap off when the Beast recognizes him. Beast says that the skin color is changed, that he is smaller, and supposedly dead, but that nothing fools his nose. Beast asks Hulk what he is doing there. Hulk says that it is none of Beast’s business. Beast says that there is some big emergency and that they could really use Hulk’s help. Hulk tells Beast to handle his own emergencies. Beast says that if Hulk doesn’t help that he will tell the Avengers that he is alive. Hulk says that not if he kills him he won’t. Beast says that if he escapes though that Hulk is nailed and that even if he does kill him that the Avengers will come looking for who did it and nail him anyway. Beast says that if Hulk comes with him that there will be no questions asked and that none of them will come looking for him. Beast says, “Immunity. My word as an Avenger.” Hulk says that immunity would stick in their craw and that maybe he can turn a profit on this. Hulk says that he is in and that it is lucky for Beast that he is in a real good mood.
Thing lies unconscious in Central Park.
No Excuses rating: 7 out of 10
I still disagree that Hulk couldn’t take the Thing in strength, but I let that slide a little because the issue itself if really well written. I enjoy the sneakier aspects of the gray Hulk. Purves does a pretty good job with this issue. His storytelling is good, but it doesn’t quite make up for my dislike for his style.