Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #351

Title: “Total Recall”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Jeff Purves

Inker: Bob Wiacek

Colors: Petra Scotese

Editor: Bobbie Chase

After having barely survived the climax of the Evolutionary War, Hulk finds himself face down in the Nevada desert, in tattered clothes, and in broad daylight. Hulk thinks to himself that the sun is trying to burn his away and leave Banner in his place, but that he won’t let Banner screw up his life. Hulk spots Vegas and starts leaping there. He fights Banner inside his head and tells Banner that he can’t win. Banner messes up Hulk’s muscle control and causes him to fall on his face. Hulk growls.

Suzy asks Marlo if she is awake. Marlo says that she is in the kitchen. Suzy says that Mona told her that she was supposed to be laid up. She asks what she is doing raiding the fridge. Marlo says that she wanted to raid, but that it looks like they haven’t restocked since 1983. Mona says that is why she went shopping. He says that she got twenty turkey pot pies and says that she loves specials. Marlo asks Suzy if she did really. Suzy says that she didn’t, but that she did get her something to make her feel better. Suzy throws Marlo a giant stuffed bear. Marlo says that he is adorable. She asks Suzy how she knew she would like him. As they walk into Marlo’s room, Suzy looks at the dozens of stuffed animals and says that it was a lucky guess. Suzy asks if Joe has been around since her accident. Mona says not to even mention that bum. Mona says that she told Mr. Fixit, but that he told her to buzz off. She says that she wishes Suzy had never set Marlo up with him. Marlo says to leave Joe alone and that he just has a lot on his mind. She says that he would visit if he could, but that Mr. Berengetti keeps him jumping is all. She asks Suzy and says that she is Mike’s girlfriend and that she knows about this stuff. Suzy says that Joe has actually been AWOL for a while and that Mickey says that he doesn’t know where Fixit is. She says that Mike has been cagey before though so it’s a tough call. Marlo says that they don’t know him like she does. Mona sings to mock Marlo, but Marlo says that she knows that there is something inside of Joe. She says that it is a gentle, kind part that he doesn’t like people to see.

Hulk leaps onto the roof of the Coliseum. Hulk thinks to himself that it is Banner, and that he is the one man that beats him down every time… but not this time. Fixit pushes an elevator button on the roof. He thinks back to when Mike set him up with a private elevator from roof to basement that he told him that he didn’t need help getting around. Mike told him that one never knows. As Hulk gets in the elevator he thinks to himself that Mike knew somehow. Fixit crawls out of the elevator. He says that Mike better not find out how weak he is feeling. He thinks to himself that it will go away just like it did before. His strength starts to come back as the elevator closes. He says that everything hurts and that his healing factor has slowed to a crawl. Fixit goes in to take a shower and thinks about how it beats spending his life running from the army, wearing torn clothes, and scavenging for food. Hulk puts on a robe. He says that ever since the Leader’s bomb went off that his life has steered off in a completely different direction, a better direction. He says that he is living his life and that Jones and Betty are living theirs. He says that everything worked out just fine. Hulk puts his head on his pillow and falls asleep. Hulk dreams.

Hulk finds himself falling through space. He wonders where the bomb went. He hopes that Betty and Rick are okay, but “couldn’t give a fig about Quartermain.” Hulk lands in a fertile beautiful land. He wonders if he has died and gone to Heaven. He decides that is unlikely… not that he died, but that he made it to Heaven. Hulk hears a loud scream. He follows it to its source and is stunned to find a giant Warthos standing over a blond woman with green skin. Hulk says that it can’t be. He says that she is dead. He says that he saw her die. Hulk says that he is in Jarella’s world. Hulk leaps onto the Warthos and says that he isn’t eating anything until he gets some answers. Hulk leaps onto the Warthos neck and drives him down. The Warthos gets back up. Hulk says that maybe the Warthos doesn’t know who he is dealing with. Hulk shouts, “Puny pig face. Hulk will smash!” Hulk pulls back on the Warthos’ tusks and snaps its neck. The Warthos drops to the ground. Hulk turns to the blond woman. He says that he thought she was Jarella at first, but that she isn’t. Hulk asks if Jarella isn’t dead. The woman stares ahead shocked. Hulk shouts at her to say something. The woman says, “B… b… behind you.” Hulk asks what she means. Hulk turns around to find the “daddy Warthos”. The Warthos bites at Hulk. Hulk starts pushing against the Warthos’ jaw, but then wonders why he should fight it. Hulk lets himself get eaten. The Warthos turns its eyes toward the woman and growls, but then suddenly Hulk burst out of the Warthos’ stomach. Hulk says that this is what happens when your food disagrees with you. Hulk walks back to the woman and asks where he was. He says that she died her hair to look like Jarella but she isn’t her. She still doesn’t answer. Hulk says that no one yanks the Hulk around. The woman says that it is him. She shouts that it is a miracle. Hulk says that he doesn’t need the glory hallelujahs. He says that he needs to know how he got there. He tells her to look at him. She says that it would be a sacrilege. She says that he must know how he got there because he is a god. She says, “Blessed be the Hulk.” Hulk tells her to knock it off. He picks her up and sees that she is wearing a medallion of him. The woman says that all of her order wear it. She says that all consorts must bear the Hulk’s image at all times. Three men come running toward the Hulk. They said that they knew when they heard Warthos screaming that he couldn’t be far behind. They see that he is gray and asks how that is possible. Hulk says to never mind that. He asks if they are the ones that brought him there. They say that they did. Hulk says to send him back and that he has things to do… like wringing the Leader’s scrawny neck. The lead man says that Hulk is needed there. He says that thousands have already died in his name. He says that more will if he doesn’t do something. Hulk asks what he is talking about. Hulk turns to “blondie” for answers, but finds that she has taken off. The leader asks Hulk to come back with them to their monastery. He says to hear him out and then if he wants to that they will send him back.

Back in the city, the woman that encountered the Hulk is telling all that the Hulk appeared to her and saved her. She says that even though the Warthos were supposed to be extinct in this part of the world that two attacked her. She says that the blessed Hulk saved her. She says that he has returned to them to give them purpose and unite them. Some argue that she is insane, but others listen. The woman says that the people will know him by the color of his skin. She says that he is now set apart from them as befits a god, but that he still has the strength of a thousand men. The Inquisitor’s men come and grab the woman for committing blasphemy. The woman says that it isn’t blasphemy. She says that he spoke to her. One of the men tells her not to make it worse on herself. He says that everyone knows only the Inquisitor can hear the Hulk’s holy words. The people shout that maybe the Hulk seeks a new ear. One says that maybe the Inquisitor doesn’t hear the Hulk anymore. One says that maybe he never did. One man thinks to himself that they must be insane to provoke Inquisitor’s men. He starts to back up slowly. The woman shouts that the Inquisitor is afraid of the truth. She says that nothing they do to her will change that. The people start to rise up and are fighting with Inquisitor’s men.

Hulk tells them to start talking. The lead man introduces himself as Gorsham and says that his associates are Whully and Booly. Hulk asks if they are near K’ai. Gorsham says that K’ai is thousands of miles away, and that it is mostly abandoned. He says that he has only seen the birthplace of the goddess Jarella once. Hulk starts to question the “goddess” part, but decides to just let it go. Gorsham says that tales of the Hulk’s great deeds spread throughout the world. He says that after his last miracle, restoring fertility to their planet, that his status was elevated to that of a god. He says that different sects arose claiming that they knew the single divine truth of the Hulk. Gorsham says that is when the violence started. Hulk says, “Sects and violence, huh? Gets ‘em every time.” Hulk asks if their words were “Hulk Smash” or “Hulk Destroy”. Gorsham says that it isn’t funny. Gorsham says that their world was gripped in a religious fervor, and that conflicts became wars. He says that one faction would gain power and another would diminish. He says that there were crusades and destruction by power seeking madmen hiding behind a covenant cloak. Gorsham says that one lunatic in particular rose in prominence: Risuli. Risuli formed a holy order of sisters to worship Jarella and styled himself as a Grand Inquisitor. His soldiers enforced “Hulk’s” law. Gorsham says that the three of them and others live in retreat. He says that they brought him there. He says that they are men of science and wizardry. He says that they studied the machinery and technology that was found in the hall of the Mountain God. Hulk asks if he means Psyklop, who first brought him to K’ai. Gorsham says that Booly even wore armor of the Mountain God to learn how it worked. He says that their motive was to put an end to the Grand Inquisitor. He says that they used the technology to monitor Hulk’s planet looking for him. He says that they couldn’t find him, but that they found the Leader and that the Leader led them to him. Gorsham says, “The last time interdimensional travel was attempted, it apparently had adverse effects on your sun. So as to be less disruptive we constructed an inanimate replica of yourself… equal in size and mass. We sent it to Earth at the moment we brought you here. The spell went slightly awry, and you landed in a nearby forest.” Hulk asks what they want from him. Gorsham says that they want him to be a god. Hulk asks if he looks like a god. Gorsham says that he could bring peace and order to their world. Hulk says, “Big deal! You mean Banner? I’ve heard that song before.” Gorsham says that they have done it before. He says that they know more than they did, and that spells that were once temporary can become permanent. He says that all they want is his help. Hulk walks off and says that he will think about it. Booly says, “Gorsham, he seems far more canny than before. What if he suspects our true purpose?” Gorsham says that he will have to meet the end of his purpose sooner than anticipated. He says that they will see how he does.

Inquisitor’s man has been working over the woman that met the Hulk. Inquisitor asks him how it goes. The man tells Inquisitor that he believes that she is ready to make a confession. Inquisitor says that he hears it is good for the soul. Inquisitor asks if she has given thoughts to her claims. She says that she has. Inquisitor says, “And this purported Hulk you saw was actually…?” The woman mutters weakly, “The… the anti-Hulk… yes, he was… evil… it’s all so… clear now…” The woman dies and Inquisitor says that is annoying. He says that at least she died cleansed of her blasphemy. He says that now he has to find the anti-Hulk.

No Excuses rating: 8.5 out of 10

Review and picture by The Leader

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