Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #356

Title: “Control Problems”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Jeff Purves

Inker: Jim Sanders

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

A bunch of men gather around two dogs engaged in a dogfight. Bruno, the gold dog, has Tombstone, the gray dog down. Mr. Fixit grabs the gold dog by the neck and says, “Nothing gray gets killed tonight. Especially not by something gold.” Hulk snaps the gold dog’s neck. He throws some money over his shoulder and says that it’s probably more than the dog was worth. The owner of the gray dog thanks him, but the owner of the gold dog kicks the owner of the gray dog and says that he just killed his dog. He tells Fixit that all his money bought him was a ton of trouble. Hulk says, “I am a ton of trouble.” A bunch of men rush Hulk from behind. Hulk says that they have gone and hurt his feelings. Hulk grabs Bruno’s owner by the throat and asks him if he wants to die like a dog… specifically his dog. The man begs for his life. Hulk tosses him against the ground and tells him to stop his whining. He say that he makes him sick Hulk says that he makes himself sick beating up guys like him. Hulk says that there has to be a challenge in Las Vegas that will make him flex his muscles and breathe a little harder. He says that he needs to find someone that can give him a tussle before he beats the life out of him. A voice asks if that is all. Hulk turns around to find a man in a hat, sunglasses, and trench coat. The man says, “Try Finnigan’s Bar, downtown, corner of Mesquite and Main next to Rivka’s. Biker hangout, plenty of tough guys there. Hulk thanks him and leaps away. The man says, “No problem, if you listen to me, you can’t go wrong.”

Glorian asks Shaper where he went wrong. He says that all he wanted to do was bring the light to Las Vegas, but that the Hulk attacked him for it as if he were doing something horrible. Shaper creates a vase. He tells Glorian to look at it. He say that it is molded, hardened, decorated, but that it is still clay. Shaper says that mortals are also clay, and that clay at its base is dirt. He says to expect nobility or gratitude from dirt is absurd. Shaper says that Hulk is also clay. He says that he just doesn’t make any pretenses of being a vase. Glorian says that he won’t give up on this. Shaper says that he is a fool then. He says that Glorian’s power can not change the Hulk. He says that he can see that he is set on his fool’s errand and to go ahead and return to it. Glorian says that he is not a fool, and that he can bring nobility to the Hulk. He says that he will show him as he vanishes.

At the video convention, the people are gathered around Glorian’s corpse as the police are taking Marlo’s statement. She is about to tell them who did it, but Glorian wakes up and says that it was just a misunderstanding. The cop says that he was dead. He says that he has seen some stiffs and that they don’t come any stiffer. Glorian says that there is an explanation. The cop says that he can’t wait to hear it, but Glorian makes a double of himself and walks out of the convention. Glorian says that the double will fade away. He wonders how will be proceed from here. He says that despite his brave words to the Shaper that he doesn’t really know what to do next. He wonders how he will transform clay into a vase. A limo pulls up next to Glorian. A man tells Glorian to get in. Glorian says that he doesn’t think so and that the car reeks of evil. The man says that there is no such thing as evil… just excuses that Heaven doesn’t accept. He tells Glorian to get in and that they won’t hurt him. Glorian climbs in and says that it is not within their power to hurt him. The man says that he likes to see pride. The man tells Glorian that he is the left hand man of a very important fellow that was very impressed by his fight with Mr. Fixit. Glorian asks what there was to be impressed by. The man says that he is alive and that any landing you can walk away from is a good one. The man offers Glorian a martini, but Glorian refuses. The man tells Glorian that his man would like to chat with him and discuss a possible bargain. Glorian says that he isn’t interested. The man tells him not to be so hasty. He says that not many people turn him down. He says to just listen to him and that if he isn’t interested that he can just walk away. He asks if he is sure if he doesn’t want a drink. Glorian says that he doesn’t drink and that he doesn’t like what alcohol does to people.

Hulk lands at Finnegan’s and thinks that he hopes there will be plenty of fun at Finnegan’s wake. As Hulk walks in, the drunk on the street says that he likes pink elephants better. Noise drops a little when Hulk walks in, but then it picks back up. Hulk knows that they are ignoring him so he announces, “Bikers are wimps!” The bikers stop, laugh, and then get up to kill Hulk. Hulk gives them their first warning by cracking his knuckles. Hulk starts pounding them. He says that he was looking for someone to give him a good fight, but that it won’t be in this “wimp hangout”. Hulk punches one of them through the ceiling. He beats the rest of them down and asks if these are the toughest guys in Las Vegas. A voice says, “Oh, you wanted the toughest guys.” Hulk turns and sees the same man from before. He asks how he got there. The man says that he took a cab, and that there is nothing strange about that. He apologizes for the misunderstanding and says that if he wants the toughest guys to try Tad’s gym in Charlestown, just east of the highway. He says that they are the toughest guys he could hope to meet. Fixit asks the man if he is playing games. The man says that it is for it, but that no he isn’t. Hulk says that he better not be and leaps through the ceiling. Hulk thinks to himself that this better pan out, and that he is starting to go stir crazy. He thinks that he almost wishes Creel or “that Abomination idiot” would come back. Back in the bar, the man is already gone.

At the emergency room, Mona is treating one of the bikers that Fixit trashed. He’s talking about the beating he took until Mona sticks him with the needle. He starts cursing her out, but Mona tells him not to be a baby and that she thought bikers were tough. The biker says that he will show her tough. He is about to grab her, but Marlo pushes him back down and says that she has had her fill of bullies tonight. The biker asks “Wonder Woman” if she is security or something. Marlo asks Mona if she can spare a minute. Mona asks who can say no to “Wonder Woman”. Mona says to come in where she takes her cigarette breaks. She says that she is white as a sheet and asks if their rent is going up. Marlo tells Mona about how Joe just killed this golden guy in cold blood. Marlo says that the guy came back to life, and that she doesn’t understand any of this. She asks how Joe could do that. Mona says that the guy probably owed money to Joe’s boss Berengetti. She asks what she expected and that the guy is a leg breaker… an enforcer. She says that he hurts people day in and day out. Marlo says, “No. Not day in. I’ve never seen him during the day…” She says that something is screwed up there. Marlo says that she has been too trusting and just accepting what Joe and Bruce told her. She says that she is going to find out what is going on around here. She says there will be no more wide-eyed innocence.

At the Kudos, The man’s employer asks Glorian if he is feeling tidied up. Glorian thanks him. Glorian says that he has been in Las Vegas for a week now, and that he doesn’t remember seeing this establishment before. The old man says that it has been there for quite some time… you just have to know where to look. The old man introduces himself to Glorian as Cloot, but tells Glorian to call him Nick. Cloot asks Glorian if he has ever heard of the Maggia. He says that they are an assortment of business families. He says that they have investments throughout the world, including there in Vegas where he is the family head. He says that the Maggia has tried to expand there recently and sent a number of chaps to do so, but that they have all met with snags. He says that now they have turned to him. Glorian asks if they are already there then why do they need to use anyone else at all. Cloot says that his specialty has always been recruitment. He says that they wanted to expand their business operations, build power bases. He says that he is an old gentleman and that fights and guns are a nasty business. He asks who needs it at his age. Cloot says that as always, however, that he is at the family’s service. Cloot asks Glorian what he is doing there. Glorian says that he wants to bring light to the people. Cloot says that is marvelous, and asks if someone is complicating things. Glorian says that his mission cannot continue until he can convert him into the light. He says that as long as he cannot eliminate the hatred in his soul. Cloot says that happens to be his expertise. Cloot says that Glorian needs somewhere to stay, someone to talk to, and help him see the big picture. Cloot says that the fellow troubling him has been troubling the Maggia as well, and that nothing would make him happier than if he could see the light. Cloot says that he needs Glorian and that Glorian needs him. Glorian asks why he doesn’t trust him. Cloot says that he doesn’t have to trust him and that is why they have contracts. He says that Glorian doesn’t need a lawyer and that it is a standard work for hire agreement. Glorian says, “You can’t be serious, these terms…? Forfeiture of…” Cloot says that no one is twisting his arm and that he can leave if he wants. He says that he can even keep the clothes. Cloot says that he thought that he was dedicated to his mission. He asks if it is the lengths of the terms that bothers him. Glorian says, “In a manner of speaking.” Glorian looks over and sees the same vase he saw when Shaper was telling him about the clay. Glorian thinks that this must be a test from the Shaper. Cloot says that the is a sporting man. He says that if Glorian manages to convert the fellow they have been discussing that his contract with them expires and that there will be no long term commitment. He says that he can’t be more fair than that. Glorian says that he will sign. Cloot gives Glorian a knife to sign with. He says that it is an old family custom to sign in blood. He asks Glorian if he can handle it. Glorian says that he can handle anything Cloot comes up with.

Hulk gets to Tad’s Gym. Men are boxing. One man in the ring downs the other. He says that he needs another sparring partner and asks if there are any takers. Hulk says that he is just in time. He says that he hears they are the toughest guys in town and that he is there to mop the floor with them. The man tells him to get some gear or he might kill him. Hulk says, “You? Kill me? Fat chance, momma’s boy.” The boxer gets mad and hits Hulk in the stomach. Hulk asks if he is kidding. The man hits Hulk harder, but hurts himself. Hulk says that they are pathetic. He asks if there isn’t anybody in Vegas that can give him a fight. He picks the man up over his head and throws him out of the ring. The men say to get him. Hulk jumps out of the ring and starts beating them up. He asks who is next. The guys start to run. Hulk tells them to come back and fight like men, but then he realizes that they are just men. He says, “And I’m…” The man from before says, “The Hulk! You’re starting to lose control of the nice little life you’ve got. So you figure you’ll re-establish control by hitting things and beating people up.” Hulk says that it always worked before. He says, “And you said the toughest guy in Las Vegas was here. You lied to me. Lying to me can have serious consequences for several of your major organs.” The man says, “Oh, you wanted the single toughest guy. The one even you can’t handle. You should have said so. He’s right through there.” The man points to an exit door. Hulk says that this better be good or he will have his head. He asks the old man if he hears him, but the man is gone again. Hulk walks out into the alley. He sees a figure and walks toward it. He says that he heard he was the toughest guy in Las Vegas and to prove it. Hulk gets closer and sees. He says, “It’s just a mannequin. I don’t get any of th… Banner. It looks like Banner. It looks like Banner! No” Hulk smashes the mannequin into pieces. On the ground, the mannequin’s head is smiling. Hulk says, “I’ll beat you, Banner! You can mess with my mind all you want… hiding in my head, and I can almost hear your sniveling little laugh… but I’ll beat you. Somehow.”

No Excuses rating: 6.5 out of 10

Review by The Leader

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