Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #358

Title: “Inferno-2 Hulk----- 0”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Jeff Purves

Inker: Marie Severin

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

Ghoul flies through the air with fire burning in his wake. He wants to know where the gray demon that did this to him is. He say that he can’t hide, and that he will strangle him with his own entrails, feast on his living heart, and then he will get creative.

Cloot tells Glorian that he is glad to see him back. He asks him how it went. Glorian says that it went excellently, and that he has sown the seeds of distrust among those closest to the Hulk. He says that soon the Hulk will have no one to turn to, and that is when he will be there to show him the light. He asks Cloot if he managed to find a physical threat to drive the final wedge in the status quo. Cloot says that he did. Ghoul’s fiery flight goes by the window. Glorian asks what in Heaven’s name is that. Cloot says that Heaven had nothing to do with it. He says that he is just a raw recruit that was molded, or so he believes, by the Hulk. He tells Glorian to watch as his Ghoul homes in on Mr. Fixit no matter where he is.

At the Ponyland Revue, Hulk sits drinking and watching the dancing girls. He thinks to himself that he should have killed Marlo for not wanting to see him, but that wouldn’t really solve the problem. He thinks that Mike is acting weird too. The waitress shows up with the best wine in the house. Hulk drinks the entire thing down. He tells her to bring him another and says that the show stinks and asks when they see some real action. Ghoul crashes through the ceiling. He shouts out to face him. Hulk wonders who that moron is, and then shouts after the fleeing waitress that he wasn’t done talking to her. He says that there is no tip for her. Ghoul points at Hulk and says that he is the one he came for. Hulk says that he has never seen him before. He says that he would take a shot at him if he wasn’t so scrawny, but that instead he will give him one chance to walk away. Ghoul asks why he should. He says that his clothes might be fancier, but that he can’t hide that he is the one that did this to him. Hulk says, “Wrong. I’m the one who did this to you!” Hulk takes off his jacket and his Ghoul with his table. Hulk says that if he wanted a fight that he came to the right place, the right guy because he is in the wrong mood. Ghoul charges Hulk. Hull says that Ghoul can’t take a hint, but he is shocked the Ghoul has the strength to shove him through the wall. The cops arrive and open fire on Ghoul. The bullets pass through his body and out. Ghoul says that they can’t kill him and that he is already dead. Hulk says that puts an interesting wrinkle in things. Hulk leaps at Ghoul, but Ghoul side steps and cuts Hulk’s side with his fingers. Hulk asks what he did to him and that he is burning up and that he can’t move his arm. Ghoul lifts Hulk over his head and says that he will make sure the rest of his body follows his arm.

Hulk and Ghoul smash through the Liberace Museum. Hulk hits a piano. As Ghoul swoops in on him, Hulk throws piano wire over Ghoul and traps his arms and wings. Hulk asks if he is worried that he won’t be able to fly with him holding his wings. Hulk’s arm control returns to him and he throws Ghoul through the air to help him fly. Hulk says that he doesn’t even care where Ghoul is from so long as he goes back there. Hulk says that how many pieces he goes back in is up to him. Ghoul throws one of Liberace’s capes over Hulk’s face. Ghoul leaps on Hulk. Hulk tries to brace himself so Ghoul can’t move him, but Ghoul does so easily and Hulk gets nervous for the first time. Hulk thinks that he hasn’t been ripped up like this since Wolverine. He says that this is worse because every place he cuts burns like fire. Hulk says that Wolverine at least had a rep. He says that this guy is just a dweeb. Hulk swings wildly and hits Ghoul causing him to drop him. Hulk shouts that there is more where that came from as he falls to the ground. Hulk crashes through two diving boards and lands in the pool at “Wet and Wild”.

Marlo and Mona sit watching TV and joking around. Mona thinks to herself that she is glad that Marlo isn’t letting Fixit’s visit earlier get to her. She thinks how Marlo has a spine of iron. Suddenly the news breaks into their show. The anchor says that the purported demon invasion from about a month back was supposedly ended, but that it has apparently begun again in Las Vegas. The news goes to footage of Joe Fixit fighting some demon. Marlo tells Mona to change the channel. Mona says that it is all over the dial. The news anchor says that the monster with wings has been heard to call himself “the Cool”. Marlo says that no matter what she does that she can’t get away from him. She says that she wishes she had cable and that right now she would sell her soul for the Disney channel.

The water cools Hulk’s burning wounds. Hulk hears leathery wings behind him. He splashes water behind him and says, “Nice try, dweeb!” Hulk grabs Ghoul’s arms and Hulk asks him if he isn’t so wild about the water. Hulk leaps into the air and says that is too bad. He says that this is Wet and Wild. Hulk and Ghoul land on a water slide and Hulk says that things are about to get wetter and wilder. The water slide falls apart. Hulk thinks to himself that on one hand he is worried about the news coverage not helping his Mr. Fixit cover, but on the other hand he hasn’t felt this alive in ages. Hulk says that despite the clothes, the food, and women that he just loves to break things. Big things… the bigger the better. Hulk calls out to the dweeb. Ghoul pulls Hulk under the water. After a long time, Ghoul’s hand comes up, but it gets pulled back down. Suddenly Hulk punches Ghoul out of the water. Hulk stands in the water and inspects his cuts. He says that it could have been worse. He thinks that the water definitely slows him down, but that maybe it is because the water is cold and the guy seems to have lava in his fingers. Hulk leaps out of the water and asks who the Ghoul is.

Cloot says that he told Glorian that he has answered that and that the Ghoul is someone he recruited. Glorian puts his hand on Cloot’s shoulder and says, “All right, Shaper. This has gone on far enough.” Cloot tells Glorian that he strongly suggests, for his own safety, that he take his hand off him. Glorian tells Shaper to drop his illusions and that he has tired of his “morality play” he arranged for his benefit. Cloot grabs Glorian’s and says, “Glorian, you’re a fool. And you’re living in a fool’s paradise. But you needn’t worry. You see I’m very experienced at getting fools tossed out of paradise.” Cloot drives Glorian to his knees. Cloot asks Glorian if he actually believed that this was something the Shaper concocted. He says that only the truly noble and pure can be so blind. Glorian says to let him go and that he is lying. Cloot says, “I never lie, I just tell the truth that suits me.” Cloot grows larger and larger. He says that he is the Maggia’s recruitment head, and that he has been with them since before the beginning. He says that as their organization expanded that so did his. Cloot says that Glorian will enjoy being a part of it. Glorian says never, but Cloot tells him to check his contract. He says that his time expires at midnight, and that he has until then to turn Hulk into a noble and self-sacrificing individual. He says that if Glorian falls that he will be his mind, body, and soul forever. Glorian asks why he is doing this to him. Cloot says that he is like the Marines and that he is looking for a few good men.

Hulk is leaping and comes face to face with Ghoul. He says that he was looking for him even though he was really trying to leap away until he was done healing. Ghoul and Hulk hits so hard that Hulk loses his momentum. Hulk hears Ghoul following him and thinks that is good. He then sees that they are going to crash into the Coliseum and says that is not good.

The chef of the Coliseum says that he has been meaning to talk to Mr. Berengetti about the amount of food Mr. Fixit has been consuming. He says that it is nerve racking. Mike says that there is a lot about Fixit that is nerve racking. He says, “Frankly, I’m this close to…” A loud crash stops Mike from talking.

Hulk thinks to himself that he is supposed to be Mike’s main enforcer, his main protector, but that lately he seems to be his main liability. Hulk his Ghoul and says, “Get over here, ya dweeb!” He says that he is going to break his claws off at the elbow. Ghoul says, “I’m not a dweeb! I’m the Ghoul!” Hulk grabs Ghoul’s arm and punches him in the stomach. He says, “Thanks for clarifying that… dweeb!” Concentrating on Ghoul’s hands, Fixit doesn’t even think about his feet until Ghoul scratches across Hulk’s chest and face with his talons. Hulk collapses in pain. Ghoul comes in, but Hulk kicks out and hits him. Berengetti’s men fire on Ghoul though the bullets don’t seem to have any effect. Hulk stomps on the ground and sends Ghoul into the air, but Ghoul just flies off. Hulk says that he is sick of wasting maneuvers, sick of excuses, and most of all he is sick of Ghoul. Hulk tackles Ghoul and drives him through the wall. Hulk presses Ghoul onto a stove. He says that he is good at frying him, but wants to see if he can take it. Ghoul says that he loved it. He asks if Hulk hasn’t realized that he can’t stop him. Hulk says that they will see how tough he is without his claws… or his head. He says that if it stays alive that he will keep it on his mantle as a conversation piece. Ghoul steps back and trips into the freezer. Hulk says that he figured that if the water slowed him down that a meat locker would finish him. Ghoul tries to fly out. Hulk says that he did better than the average dweeb, but that he is already too slow to get away. Hulk grabs Ghoul’s ankle and hurls him onto a meat hook. Ghoul says that he can’t stop him and that he is already dead. Hulk says that now he is dead meat. Hulk closes the freezer. Mike stands behind him. Hulk says that he won’t be a problem any more and that when you take him out to make sure he is packed on ice. Mike says, “Good. Joe?” Hulk asks what. Mike says, “You’re fired!”

Cloot laughs.

No Excuses rating: 8 out of 10

Review and pictures by The Leader

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