Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #359
Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #359
Title: “Soul Man”
Writer: Peter David
Penciller: Jeff Purves
Inker: Marie Severin
Colors: Glynis Oliver
Editor: Bobbie Chase
Hulk shouts, “What do you mean I’m fired?” He says Mike is
ungrateful for all he has done for him. Mike says that this is his place and
that he makes the house rules. He says that he is the bank, and that Joe has
broken it for the last time. He says that he is a trouble magnet. Fixit asks
what he means. Mike says that it is bad enough that he disappears for days on
end. He says that it is bad enough that guys with crazy powers are punching in
and out like there was a time clock, but that the guy hanging in his freezer is
the last straw. He says that before he showed up that he was happy with his
small piece of the pie. He says that then he showed and everything changed. He
says that he changed. Mike says that every gambler knows when the stakes are too
high.
He
says that with the games Joe plays that he shouldn’t even be sitting at the
table. Mike says that he is cashing in his chips. Fixit grabs him and says that
he will cash them in for him. Mike says, “Go ahead. You know I can’t stop you…
Hulk.” Hulk asks if he knows. Mike say that of course he does. He asks if he
really thought he didn’t do some research when he found a super strong gray
bruiser in the middle of the desert. Mike says that if Hulk kills him that lots
of people will know. He says that it is all arranged. He says that if he dies
that word gets out immediately, everywhere. He says that the town will be
crawling with soldiers and super-people by daybreak. Hulk thinks, “Daybreak!
Holy Crow.” Hulk says that he is bluffing. Mike says to try him. Hulk says that
Mike is way off base about him. He says that it might seem that way, but that he
isn’t always being attacked by super hero types. He promises that there won’t be
anymore, but before Hulk can finish his sentence Glorian bursts through the wall
and tells Hulk that he needs him desperately. Hulk asks how many times he has to
kill Glorian. Mike asks what Hulk was just telling him about there being no more
fights. Hulk chucks Glorian through the wall. He says, “Blast it! I quit,
Berengetti! You’re too gutless to waste any more time with!” Hulk leaps through
the building and says that it was cramping his style anyway.
Hulk lands in front of Glorian and tells him that he just made him walk out on the best gig he ever had. Glorian wraps Hulk up in a rainbow. He says that they have to talk. Glorian opens his contract and tells Hulk to read it. Hulk reads and says that Glorian has to be kidding him. Hulk asks what kind of stupidity this is that if he doesn’t become “noble and self-sacrificing” by midnight tonight that Glorian sacrifices his immortal soul. Glorian says that he thought that it was a test by his teacher the Shaper of Worlds. He says that he didn’t know that the contract was real, but that now he knows that it is. He says that Hulk has to help him. Hulk tells him to forget it after the way he jerked him around. Glorian says that he has to do something, promise to be a good person. He tells him to see the light. Hulk says that the only thing he wants to see is Glorian getting his. Glorian says that he is fighting for more than his life. He says that his time is almost up and he tells Hulk to repent. Hulk tells Glorian not to snarl at him and that he invented the snarl. He tells Glorian that he is going to burn forever. Glorian says that he won’t suffer eternal agony because Hulk refuses to see the light. Glorian says that he will use his reality shaping powers as never before. He says that if he is going to die that Hulk will go first. Four Wolverines, a Thor, and an Abomination attack the Hulk. Glorian shouts for Hulk to repent and see the light. Hulk says that he is nuts. A Thing joins in the attack. Hulk tells Glorian that he will dance at his funeral. Glorian asks how Hulk can not lift a finger to help him. Hulk says that he will lift a finger. He says that he can rip him to shreds and that he will never change. Hulk says that he is more pure that Glorian. Glorian says that Hulk asked for it, but before he can reveal his latest attack Cloot appears and tells Glorian that it is over. Glorian says that he still has more time. Cloot says that perhaps, but that this is pointless. He says that he hasn’t even begun to save the Hulk’s soul and he has lost his own. Glorian pleads with Hulk to save him, but Hulk just says, “Adios”. Cloot presses Glorian over his head. He tells him to not bother trying to use his powers against him and that they won’t work. Glorian tells Hulk to help him. He says that Hulk needs him and that if he doesn’t see that then it will be too late for him. Hulk says that it is too late for Goldy. Cloot asks Glorian if he has ever seen the Grand Canyon. He says that he will get to see one more natural wonder before he spends the rest of eternity seeing unnatural ones. Cloot and Glorian vanishes.
Cloot looks at the Grand Canyon and asks Glorian if it isn’t beautiful. Glorian asks why a monster like him cares about beauty. Cloot says, “Why, because it can be made ugly, of course.” Glorian says that all he needs is more time. Cloot says that they had a deal. He says that he provided him with shelter and aid, and that Glorian was going to make the Hulk see the light. Cloot says that in minutes his sponsorship will pass. Glorian says, “But it’s not fair! My motives were pure, my actions…” Cloot says that they should discuss his actions. He says that Glorian used his powers to terrorize Hulk’s friends. He says that he cut him off from a life he was content with and created the likelihood of more destruction by him. He says that to save his own life that Glorian became little more than a bully. He says that he tortured and attacked him because of what he wanted. Cloot says, “As for your “purity”, well, Hitler was concerned about purity, look where it got him. Go ahead, look.” Smoke billows out of the Grand Canyon and demons fly about. Cloot says that the welcome wagon is here. Glorian sees Shaper in the smoke, but Cloot assures him that it is just his imagination. Glorian begs for his master’s help. Cloot says that no one can help him so long as he is bound by their agreement. Glorian says, “My power…!” Cloot says that Glorian’s power is his now. Glorian begs Cloot not to do this. He says that he didn’t mean to hurt anyone and that he just wanted to help. He says that he intended the best for the Hulk. Cloot says that Glorian will feel right at home, and that where he is going is paved with good intentions. Cloot says to throw him in.
Hulk arrives and says that he really did bring him to the
Grand Canyon. He wonders who expected honesty from him. Glorian says that Hulk
has come to save him. Hulk says that he just came to see Glorian get his. Cloot
says that he is a man after his own heart. Glorian says that he can’t mean it.
Hulk says that of course he can. He says that Glorian isn’t such a hotshot now.
Hulk decides that maybe he will go back to Las Vegas after this and kill
Berengetti, and then he’ll get Marlo back… his way. He says that he’ll make it a
night to remember. Cloot says that Hulk sure is incorrigible this evening. Hulk
says that the new moon brings out the best in him. Cloot says that it is too bad
that Glorian didn’t know this before he took on this challenge. He asks Hulk if
he would like to see an advance peek of where he is going. Hulk looks down into
the pit and says that he thought he could make people suffer. Hulk says that it
is better Glorian than him. Cloot says that is the beauty of it. He says that
Glorian was only half his concern. He says that his main worry was that he would
salvage his soul. He says that he couldn’t allow that. He says that Hulk is
going to be a very powerful acquisition and that he will have him and sooner
than he thinks. Cloot says that he would have to overcome Banner, but that he
will break him and that nothing will stop him from joining his little community.
Cloot says that he wonders if Glorian or Hulk’s screams will be louder. Glorian
tears at Hulk’s pants and begs him. Cloot says that Glorian doesn’t get it. He
says that the Hulk won’t help him. He says Hulk thinks it is funny. Hulk pulls
up and knocks the demons off him. He says that he is really getting on his
nerves. Hulk asks if Cloot wants funny. He throws him into the Grand Canyon and
says that is funny. Hulk looks at Glorian and says that no one deserves that
just for trying to help him.
Suddenly
Cloot pops out of the Grand Canyon… twice as big as the opening itself. Cloot
says, “You’re a liar to the last, Hulk! You see a foretaste of your own fate in
my realm… and you seek to stave it off by aiding Glorian. By saving him, you’d
save yourself. Is that the plan? Too little, Hulk. Too little, too late.” Thing
says that he wishes Ben Grimm were there. Glorian asks if it is so they could
fight side by side, but Hulk says that it was so Grimm could die before him.
Hulk leaps at Cloot and asks who he is. Cloot swats Hulk away with a finger and
says, “I? I’m Satannish… or Clootie… old Nick, old Scratch… the Serpent… I have
many names, many aspects, just as my realm has many names. Eventually you’ll
call it… home.”
Hulk sits up and says, “No way”. Glorian says that if only Hulk were green, but Hulk cuts him off. He says that he could get mad for a month in his salad days and not even approach that thing. Cloot says that if their business is concluded that he will take his golden prize and leave. Hulk tells Cloot that he will play him for Glorian. Cloot says that Hulk will do anything to avoid his fate. He asks if that is part of his perverse nature. Cloot asks what the stakes are. Hulk says that if he wins that he will get Glorian and that the Maggia will disappear from Las Vegas completely. He says that if Cloot wins that he gets Glorian and that he won’t fight him for Las Vegas anymore. Cloot says that he has been fired and that he has no stake in Vegas anymore. Hulk says that it is Las Vegas and that he may want it for himself. Cloot says that if he wins that he gets it all, including Hulk, now. Hulk tells him to forget it. Cloot says that he will just get him later then. He says that this just shortens the inevitable. Hulk says that he wants a game of chance. Cloot tells him to name it. Hulk says, “Craps. Field.” Cloot says that is fine, and that they will use his dice. Cloot drops two giant dice on the ground. As Hulk picks up the dice, Glorian says that he doesn’t understand. Hulk says that it is a field bet. He says that there is one roll only. He says that if he rolls a 2, 3, 4, 9, 10, 11, or 12 that they win. He says that if anything comes up they lose. Glorian says that he is shooting craps for their souls. He says that is insane. Hulk says that he is right. He asks Glorian if he wants to bet ten bucks on the side to make it interesting. Cloot shouts that he is waiting. Hulk tells him to cram it. Hulk throws the dice. He leaps after them and Glorian rides his rainbow. The dice are coming up 7, but Hulk hits the ground and the dice go to 12. Hulk says that he wins and that he always wins. Cloot says that Hulk shook the ground and that he cheated. Hulk asks if Cloot is going to try and tell him that the dice weren’t loaded. Cloot says that they weren’t, but Hulk says, “yeah, sure”. Hulk says that what Cloot didn’t count on is that the madder he gets, the sneakier he gets. Cloot says that he has had enough of this. He grabs Glorian and says that he will get Hulk eventually. Hulk leaps onto Cloot’s hand. He tells Cloot to drop him. Glorian tells Hulk to get back before it is too late. Hulk tells Glorian to shut up, and that this is between him and Cloot. Shaper grabs Cloot’s arm and says that not anymore it isn’t.. Shaper says that if Cloot had won that he wouldn’t have interfered… even if it meant losing one that was like a son to him. Shaper says that he lost and says that he no longer has any power there. Glorian and Hulk drop, but Shaper stops their fall. Cloot says that he never loses. He says that he just has victories of lesser degrees. He says that his “son” is tainted and that he will get him someday… and the Hulk… and Shaper. Cloot disappears. Hulk says, “And your mangy little dog, too.” Glorian says that Hulk saw the light. Hulk says that he doesn’t see lights. He says that he punches them out. As Shaper and Glorian rise into the air, Shaper tells Glorian that he has much to think on in the manner that he went about his goals. Shaper tells Hulk that he might do some thinking as well about matters of life and death… and after.
No Excuses rating: 8.5 out of 10
A great storyline warps up. I wonder if the other factions of the Maggia family know that the Devil himself works for them in recruitment. Seriously though, I love the way the story worked out. Hulk gets a brief notion of his course, and though it doesn’t change him demonstrably he does act on Glorian’s part. Purves’ shortcomings are overcome by some really nice visuals. 3.5 out of 5 for the art.
Review and pictures by The Leader