Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #361

Title: “Iron Tears”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Jeff Purves

Inker: Marie Severin

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

CONTINUED FROM IRON MAN #247

In Los Angeles, the Maggia is having a meeting. Milton, the man at the head of the table, says that he is afraid that the new business is not good news. He says that not only have their potentially lucrative ties with the government become knowledge, aborting the FBI/Maggia connection, but that they have literally lost Las Vegas. Tyrone asks if it isn’t still out in Nevada. One guy says that if there is problems in Vegas not to screw around and to call in Cloot. The chairman says that they did, and that apparently Cloot was beaten. The man tells him to be serious and asks what could possibly beat Cloot. Milton says that all they know is that their people did a flyby and saw the Kudos hotel, which appears wherever Cloot is operating, lying crumbled as if it had fallen apart. Milton says that maybe it was this Mr. Fixit that they have been hearing about. The man says that he is sick of this bozo wrecking Maggia operations. He says that he wants Fixit’s head. Suddenly there is a loud banging outside. Fixit walks in with two unconscious guards in his hands. He says, “My head, huh? Why not take all of me?” More guards come in and shout for everyone to get down. Hulk asks if that includes him. The bullets start flying off Fixit and Fixit says that he guesses not. Hulk slams the unconscious guards into the newly arriving ones. Hulk says, “Let’s review the situation: The Maggia… that’s you… wrecked Vegas for Mr. Fixit… that’s me. This, of course, means war. And we’re about to have some serious casualties.” Suddenly, Iron Man bursts through the floor and blasts Hulk in the chest knocking him through the wall. Hulk says this is just great. He says that he wants some nice simple mayhem and that the armor-plated goon knocks him into the ballroom. Hulk leaps at Iron Man, but Iron Man hits him with repulsor rays. Iron Man says that Hulk is just muscle and mouth, and that he hasn’t a prayer against repulsor rays. Hulk says that he doesn’t need prayers because all he believes in is strength and that he has enough for Iron Man. Iron Man prepares to fire just as Hulk is swinging. Hulk says that he has braced himself this time and for Iron Man to take his best shot. Hulk goes flying out of the building and Iron Man is sent hurtling back into the Maggia’s meeting room. One of them asks why Iron Man is back. Iron Man says that it is called physics and that the laws of action and reaction has been in all the newspapers. He says that the Supreme Court should be overturning it any day.

Iron Man looks and sees that the Hulk is gone. They asks Iron Man how he knew that Mr. Fixit was gunning for them. Iron Man says that it was pure luck. He says that he was flying by and saw the Hulk leaping his way. He says that he is a hard one to miss. The Maggia says that the Hulk is supposed to be green and stupid and dead. Iron Man says he is actually gray, very smart, and very alive. Iron Man says that Hulk is their problem and that he has enough of his own. One of the Maggia guys says that it is no wonder their Vegas people could never handle him. He says that Hulk has gone toe to toe with Thor, Thing, and Iron Man there. He says that if he has brains and strength that he is unbeatable. The other Maggia member says that Iron Man did it just now. He asks what it would take for Iron Man to get rid of them permanently. Iron Man asks if they are joking. The man says that just the other day that Iron Man recovered Madame Masque from AIM and Hydra, and that he just dispatched the Hulk. He says that he thinks Iron Man could be a real help to them. Iron Man says that they nauseate him, and that in armor that can be dangerous. The man says that maybe a million dollars will settle his stomach. Milton starts to say that there cash flow is low, but the man tells Milton to shut up. He says that the news say that Iron Man’s boss just gave up controlling interest in Stark Enterprises and that he would look out of place in the unemployment line. Iron Mans says that he if had known that Hulk was coming after them that he wouldn’t have stopped him. The man from the Maggia says that he bet Iron Man’s boss would like to know who killed Whitney Frost. Iron Man says that he wants the money and the information direct from Madame Masque. The man says that is out of the question. Iron Man says, “adios”. He tells Iron Man to give him some time to think about it. Iron Man tells him to broadcast his answer tomorrow at 10am in 105.6 megahertz. Iron Man flies off.

Iron Man lands and Hulk calls out for him to hold it. Iron Man says that he thought he would see him here. Iron Man extends his hand and is about to say he did a nice job, Hulk swings at him. Iron Man asks what his problem is. Hulk asks if he needed the repulsors and the pulse. He says that his head is still ringing. Iron Man tells him not to be a crybaby and asks if he wanted it to look convincing or not. Hulk says that next time they’ll be convincing at Iron Man’s expense. Hulk leaps away. Iron Man goes inside and changes back into Tony Stark. He thinks that now that he is an invalid he doesn’t know why he bothers anymore. He says that as Iron Man he has the world at his feet, but that as Tony Stark he doesn’t even need his feet. He thinks about how glad he is that Bruce came along.

Not long ago… Mrs. Arbogast tells Bruce that Mr. Stark isn’t seeing anyone. Bruce asks if she doesn’t remember him. She says that she sees thousands of people, but that most of them have been wearing shoes. Bruce asks her to tell Tony that Bruce, Betty’s husband, is there. Tony Stark says that he knew when Iron Man told him that the Hulk was alive that it wouldn’t be long until Bruce Banner surfaced. Stark asks Bruce how he is. Bruce says that he is holding up. He tells Tony that he was sorry to hear about the shooting. Stark says that he hopes that Bruce doesn’t mind, but that he has to keep the inventory going since he is the only one qualified to do it. Stark says that it is busy work, but that’s what his life is now. He says that maybe he could be a paperweight. Bruce says that he has never heard him sound so defeated. Stark asks Bruce why he thinks that is. Stark says that when people look at him now that all they see is a chair. He says that he is used to dealing with people from strength, but that now he can’t even be at eye level with them. He says that the ladies will really flip for him now. He says that he is a real lady-killer, except when the ladies are trying to kill him. Tony says to forget it. He says that Bruce can’t understand because his legs aren’t dead. Bruce tells Tony not to ever presume to trade sob stories with him. He says that at least Tony has a life of his own and that he has to share his with Hulk. He says that he has to know that his every foul thought and unpleasant aspect is personified for public display and that he hates it. He says that he can feel the loose cannon rumbling around in him. Bruce says that it isn’t Tony’s problem, but he is just saying not to give up. He tells him to focus on something positive. Bruce says that he focuses on Betty and the baby. He says that he is sure that it is a boy, and that they will name him Ross. He says that is what keeps him going and that if anything ever happened to one of them that he would lose his grip. Bruce says that is actually the reason he is there. He says that he was hoping that Tony might be able to find Betty and that he is trying to keep a low profile. Tony says that he will start immediately and says that he has idea of someplace they could aim that cannon of his.

Hulk sits in the mental plane playing solitaire. Hulk looks at his cards and says that there is never a red eight when you need one. Bruce calls Hulk’s name. Hulk says that they must be ready to change and that is the only time Bruce shows his pasty face. He says that it is bad enough that he had to see his payoff get fried. He says that he doesn’t want to listen to his whining. Bruce tells Hulk that he knows that he is upset about what happened in Las Vegas, but that he has been doing some thinking. He says that maybe he has been viewing Hulk wrong all these years. He says that he has let his basic dislike of his darker aspects blind him to the deeper scientific aspects of Hulk’s existence. Hulk asks Bruce what he has been sniffing lately. Bruce says that he knew Hulk would take that attitude. He says that he and Iron Man need his cooperation. Hulk tells him to get real. Iron Man watches stunned as Bruce and Hulk seem to be fluctuating back and forth during the change both physically and mentally. Bruce says that he is just trying to respect Hulk’s goals and that he knows Hulk wants that. Hulk says that Banner doesn’t know anything. Bruce says that he knows how to make the Maggia’s life miserable and earn Hulk a tidy sum. Hulk asks if he means the creeps that wrecked Las Vegas for him. Bruce says that Iron Man has a plan that could do them both good. Hulk turns to Iron Man and says that he is listening. Iron Man asks if he always does that back and forth thing when he changes now. Hulk says, “Only when I have a lot on my mind.”

Tony thinks about how their staged fight scared the Maggia. Bruce sits with Tony and thanks him for sending the car for him when he phoned in. Tony says that the neighborhood Hulk left him in was a nasty section. He says that he couldn’t let him walk it. Over the radio Madame Masque says, “Attention, Iron Man. This is the Family. All terms regarding gray matters are acceptable. Return this evening with proof of gray matter’s demise… preferably identifiable body part… and money and information from the Madame will be provided.” Bruce realizes that the Maggia doesn’t know that the Hulk doesn’t exist during the day and that Iron Man couldn’t hunt him down if he wanted to. Tony tells Bruce what they are going to do.

Iron Man meets with the Maggia. He says that this is quite a turn out. He is told that Madame Masque doesn’t make an appearance without plenty of security… especially with the way AIM and Hydra have been trying to kidnap her. Another dreadnaught walks into the room. Milton says that he thought there was only one dreadnaught on interior duty. Madame Masque walks into the room and wants to get business done. Masque shows Iron Man the money and asks for her proof that the Hulk is dead. Suddenly the one Dreadnaught punches the other one’s head off. Masque orders that it be shut down since it has gone berserk. Iron Man grabs the money. Hulk comes smashing out from inside the Dreadnaught armor. Iron Man tosses Hulk the money and says that Madame Masque is his. Hulk says that he will try not to spend it all in one place. Iron Man chases Masque and says that she has a lot to answer for. Maggia people are scurrying everywhere. Hulk palms one of their heads and tells him to keep it down while he is trying to count this. Suddenly AIM and Hydra agents drop through the ceiling. Hulk says that he isn’t going to get any quiet around here.

Hulk smashes through the floor to the front desk. He asks the man there if he works for the guys in green pajamas or the guys with the trash cans on their heads. The man says that he doesn’t. Hulk hands him the suitcase with the money in it. He says that he is coming back for this and that if any of it is missing that he will know. Iron Man smashes through the door holding Madame Masque. He tells Hulk that they are right behind him. Iron Man is hit in the back and Masque runs free. Iron Man starts firing at AIM, Hydra, and the Maggia. He says that he knows that Cap and Spider-Man always survive without armor and repulsors, but that he doesn’t know how. Hulk smashes the front desk sign in two. He shouts, “Okay! Welcome to the front desk! Who checks out first?”

The police stand outside waiting for the SWAT team.

A dreadnaught hits Hulk and knocks him beneath Iron Man’s feet. Hulk grabs Iron Man’s feet and smashes him into the Dreadnaught into pieces. Iron Man asks if Hulk minds. Hulk asks if that was too convincing for him.

Later, Iron Man is trying to explain the entire thing to the police. The front desk clerk sits on the ground. Hulk puts his hand on the guy’s shoulder. He thanks him for keeping his case safe, but that when he gave it back that it was a grand short. The man hands the money back to Hulk. Hulk tells him to have a nice night.

The next day, Bruce tells Tony that it is a beautiful day. He sees something is wrong and asks Tony what it is. Tony says that he was just thinking about what Bruce said kept him going. He says that there is something they should discuss. Bruce says that he knows he should stick around and try to find a cure, but that the best place for him is a desolate area. He says that there is a lab he has a job at, and that he is hoping to convince the Hulk that the research can benefit both of them. Tony says that if anyone can that it is him. He says that the money thing should keep the Hulk happy for short term goals. Bruce says that he will never give up and tells Tony not to either. He says that with God as his witness that Tony will bounce his baby boy on his knee. He says to keep that image in his mind, and that it can keep both of them going. As Bruce leaves he says that he will keep calling in to see if Tony finds Betty. He says that he appreciates it and that it means a lot. Tony says that he won’t let him down. Tony looks over at the screen that tells him that Elizabeth R. Banner was released after a miscarriage, and that there was no forwarding address. He closes his eyes.

No Excuses rating: 9 out of 10

Review and pictures by The Leader

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