Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #363

Title: “Still Life”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Jeff Purves

Inker: Marie Severin

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

Hulk falls in mid leap as he starts to transform. Hulk says that this is just great.

24 hours ago, Gray Gargoyle takes his hamster Arnold out of his cage. He touches the hamster and turns it into stone. Gray Gargoyle asks Dr. Doom if he really thinks him power will be useful against the Hulk. Doom says that he does and asks if Gray Gargoyle has reviewed the file. Gray Gargoyle asks, “Yes, but… gray on gray? Most unappealing for an artist like myself.” Doom says that only Gray Gargoyle can do it. He says that the Hulk is a wild card and that this way they can keep an eye on him. He says that if necessary they can… Doom takes Arnold and crumbles into rubble. Gray Gargoyle agrees that subtlety requires an artist. He says that he will go at once. Doom thinks to himself that if Gray Gargoyle fails that at least he owns several pieces of his work and that an artist’s death rarely causes his work’s value to plummet.

In the present, Gray Gargoyle rides on a plane. He thinks to himself that this villain alliance seemed absurd to him, but the more he thinks about it the more he thinks that maybe he has found his niche. He says that now that his secret identity has been exposed that he can rebuild now with men like Dr. Doom for patrons. A device in Gray Gargoyle’s pocket starts to beep. He sees that the gamma particle detector is going off already. Off in the distance, Hulk’s trajectory takes his close to the plane. The man sitting next to Gray Gargoyle asks him what he is holding. Gray Gargoyle tells him that it is nothing to concern himself with. The man says that he is airline security and that he is making it his business. He asks what it is again. Gray Gargoyle hands it to the man. He takes off his glove and tells the man that it is a gamma cell detector given to him by Dr. Doom. He says that with it he can track people that are heavily gamma irradiated like the Hulk or Bruce Banner. The man says that the Hulk is dead. He says that as far as Doom is concerned he asks if that makes him Magneto or Galactus. He asks if he is getting warm. Gray Gargoyle transforms the man into stone and says, “No, my friend. You are cold. Stone cold.” The pilot tells the people on the right that they can look at the sunrise.

Hulk falls. He says that this is his own fault. He says that he was busy jumping around and thinking, and he didn’t notice the sun coming up. He fights and fights against the change. He says that he knew Banner would get them killed some day. Hulk hits the ground. Bruce Banner gets up holding his jaw. He says that he thinks that he knocked out a filling. Bruce is amazed to find that the house he is renting is only about a mile away. He starts to walk away and recalls that any landing that you can walk away from is a good one.

Gray Gargoyle’s plane is letting out. He tips his hat to the flight attendant as he leaves. A flight attendant on the plane sees that someone has not left. She pulls the blanket off him and sees a statue of a man there. She yells at Candy and Jane that they are so finny thinking it is a joke. Gray Gargoyle gets in his convertible and says that now he has to find Bruce Banner.

Bruce Banner makes it to work on time. As he is sweeping up, Doctor Sterns asks Bruce if he remembers him from the other day. He asks Bruce if he would look at some equations. Bruce says that he wouldn’t know anything about it, but as he looks he exclaims, “Good lord, what a mess. These equations are completely out of whack. And the sine curve is off by… by…” He hands it back to Sterns and says, “But… but then again, what do I know?” Sterns says, “A good deal more than you’re telling… Doctor Banner.”

Gray Gargoyle is getting annoyed. He says that he has covered the entire town three times. He wonders where Bruce can be.

At Yucca Flats, Bruce asks Sterns how long he has known and who else knows. Sterns says that he has known for a while, but that no one else knows. He says that he is not a fool, and that he supposes that Bruce is looking for a cure there. He says that he would be happy to provide him with some quiet help. He says that he can get him access to the computers and gamma machines they have there. He says that he would like Bruce to look over his work from time to time and make sure that he isn’t going to blow them all up. He says that he is low level there, but that with Banner’s help he might be able to go places. Bruce says that to be honest that he is asking him to trust his secrets to someone he hardly knows. Sterns says that even if he doesn’t help him that he won’t turn him in. He says that this isn’t blackmail. Bruce says that is good to know. He shakes Dr. Sterns’ hand and says that it looks like they are working together. Dr. Sterns says that this is an honor. Bruce tells Dr. Sterns to call him Bruce.

Gray Gargoyle shakes the hand of the man that just filled up his gas and then drives away from the stone man. He says that when he drove out of town that the detector finally locked onto the Hulk. He starts following the signal, but comes to some workmen. He asks why they would dig a mile long ditch. The worker says that they didn’t dig anything. He says that they are just repairing the part that intersects with the road. Gray Gargoyle asks how it got there. The worker asks if he looks psychic. Gray Gargoyle says that he looks like he is sitting around. The worker says that they are on their lunch break. He tells him to move along.

Two other doctors working at Yucca Flats see Phil Sterns talking with the janitor. The one asks the other what he thinks they are talking about. The other says that it is either toilet bowl cleaners or DNA realignment.

Phil asks Bruce if the gamma bomb actually realigned his DNA. Bruce says that it was total cellular bombardment. He says that it reconstructed his DNA make-up. Bruce says that for that reason that he is growing more and more concerned over… children. Phil says that Bruce is his first concern, not his children. Phil says, “Look, altered DNA explains the Hulk. But if the entire make-up of your body was changed… look, it’s not like a car where you can change the engine, but the outside remains the same. This is genetic structure. Biochemically, you’re a totally different individual now. But as Bruce Banner, you look the same as you did before.” Bruce says that he doesn’t follow him. Phil says, “The Hulk is the Hulk. But how can Bruce Banner continue to exist, unchanged on the outside, when so much has changed inside?” Bruce thinks and says that he doesn’t know.

Bruce is leaving work in his car. He thinks about how Phil raises some frightening thoughts. Bruce says that other radiation-affected people are permanently changed, but that he is normal sometimes. He says that if his DNA is altered that it shouldn’t be possible. He says that he should be permanently abnormal. He says that the Hulk should be the norm, and that all those years when the Hulk claimed that he shouldn’t exist… that he was right.

Gray Gargoyle’s car passes Bruce’s and the detector goes off. He grabs a phony police siren and puts it on his car. Bruce wonders if he should try to get away. He says that he doesn’t think that he was speeding, and that maybe it is just a broken tail light. He says that if he speeds now that he will be in trouble. Bruce pulls over and decides to play it safe.

Shortly, Gray Gargoyle drives down the street with a stone Bruce Banner in the back seat. He says that was simple enough. Gray Gargoyle arrives back at the work site and sees the workers hard at work. He says that it is nice to see that their lunch break didn’t last until sundown. There is a loud cracking in the back seat. Gray Gargoyle looks back and sees that the stone Bruce Banner is now a stone Hulk. He says that it seems that nothing can prevent the day/night transformation. He says that he is glad that he is still frozen. Suddenly Hulk’s hand comes through the back of Gray Gargoyle’s seat and palms the back of his head. Gray Gargoyle swerves off the road and crashes. One of the workers that Gray Gargoyle nearly killed asks him if he is stoned. Gray Gargoyle says to give him a moment and that he will be. Gray Gargoyle transforms from his human appearance into his stone appearance. He grabs a jackhammer off the men and tells them to start running. Gray Gargoyle says that Doom sent him to bring the Hulk back intact. He says that this constitutes failure, but that he isn’t taking any chances. He says that he isn’t sure if he can move in the paralyzed state, but that he isn’t taking any chances. He puts the jackhammer on Hulk, but Hulk grabs the drill bit and bends it. He pulls the drill out of Gray Gargoyle’s hand and smashes out of the car.

Gray Gargoyle runs. Hulk strains to move, but he is following him. Gray Gargoyle says that his touch never failed him… even against Thor. He wonders if Hulk has something the others don’t, or if he is losing his touch. Gray Gargoyle turns a steel slab into stone. He hits Hulk with it and knocks him over. Hulk struggles against his concrete form to get up. Gray Gargoyle runs and gets a steamroller. He drives over the Hulk, but Hulk stands up and lifts the steamroller over his head. Hulk says that he has heard of Gray Gargoyle. He says that he thinks that he’s hot stuff because he can turn stuff into stone. Hulk says that he has a healing ability and a metabolism that can shake off transformations like that. Hulk throws the steamroller away. Gray Gargoyle tells Hulk to stay back and says that he is warning him. Hulk asks if he is warning him. Gray Gargoyle takes a cone, turns it to stone, and smashes it on Hulk’s head. Hulk grabs Gray Gargoyle’s arm and smashes him against the ground. Hulk lifts a truck over his head and asks Gray Gargoyle why he attacked him. Gray Gargoyle says that it is to gain revenge on Thor and Iron Man. Hulk says that makes sense. Hulk throws the truck near Gray Gargoyle and the contents of the back bury him. The pile turns into stone. Gray Gargoyle’s arm breaks out of the top. Hulk grabs Gray Gargoyle’s arm and breaks it backward. He asks Hulk what he has done. He says that his arm is bent backward and that he can’t use his stone touch on anything… including himself. He says that in an hour he will turn back into his human form. Hulk says that he has that long to fix his arm and fingers before they wind up permanently broken. He says that he won’t stop him, but that he better hurry since he is on a deadline. As Gray Gargoyle runs Hulk says that if he ever wants vengeance on him that he will attack someone really tough… like Dan Quayle. Hulk laughs.

No Excuses rating: 7.5 out of 10

Review and picture by The Leader

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