Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #379Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #379
Title: “Hit and Myth”
Writer: Peter David
Penciller: Dale Keown
Inker: Mark Farmer
Colors: G. Oliver
Editor: Bobbie Chase
Paris calls out to Delphi. She doesn’t stop and he asks if she is deaf. Delphi says that she hears him, but that she is ignoring him. He says that he just wanted to get a “feeling” from her on the Hulk business. Delphi says that she knows what kind of feeling he wants and tells him to keep his hands in sight. Delphi says, “As for the Hulk, the answer is yes. He will join us.” Paris says that he isn’t too happy about that. Delphi says that he won’t be, and that no one will be. Paris says that he will be proven right and hopes that it will be a lesson for the future. He asks if Ulysses will survive this misadventure. Delphi says that he will. Paris says that he supposes one must take the good with the bad.
Hulk walks into the bar with Samson and Ringmaster. He announces, “Drinks for the house! On me!” Samson reminds Bruce that he doesn’t have any money. Hulk corrects himself, “Drinks for the house! On him!” Hulk motions towards Samson.
Outside the bar, a large armored man sees the Hulk and says that they should go get him. His companion reminds him that if they can avoid violence that they will. The armored man says, “Wanna hiddum. Looks stoopid, but oooookayyy.”
Hulk looks around and says that they
don’t seem to have any tables in his size, and that it is
bad enough that they don’t have a ‘no smoking’
section. The waitress says that they shouldn’t sit there as
Hulk moves toward a table. Hulk says that they will just
improvise. Hulk tears the bolted table from the floor. The
waitress stands in shock and points out that the table was
bolted. Hulk remarks at her stunning grasp of the obvious, but
apologizes because that was rude. Hulk asks for Budweiser on tap.
Hulk asks the others. Ringmaster says that he will have a vodka
stinger, but Samson orders a club soda. Hulk calls Samson a lush.
Samson says that he doesn’t think that this was such a good
idea. Hulk asks Samson what his problem is. He says that Samson
and ‘Ringy’ succeeded. He says that he can write papers
and books about it for the rest of his life. He says that Sybil
was a big hit, and that she couldn’t even level Rhode
Island. Bruce downs his beer and Samson points out that Bruce
doesn’t drink. He adds that he ripped out that table with no
concern for property damage. He says that the merger is new for
all of them. Bruce starts speculating about titles. He says that
he never drank before because of his need to maintain control,
and that the bar is insured for the table. He says that he will
just have to be more careful in the future. Some men walk through
the door and wonder who the freaks are and why they are sitting
at their table. Hulk says that the others were taken. The man
says that he doesn’t know what circus is in town. Ringmaster
asks if he has a problem with circuses and says that he could
convince him otherwise. Hulk says that he doesn’t want any
hypnosis. Bruce says that they didn’t know that this was
their table, but now that they are there they are not leaving. He
says that they are comfy. Hulk says that they can either accept
that and have a fine evening, or he will be forced to pound them
into pulp. The man asks, “Yeah? You and what army?”
Hulk stands up and says, “Army? Army? I don’t need no
steenking army.” Ulysses, Hector, and Atalanta watch at the
end of the bar. Hector asks if they should make their move, but
Ulysses says that they will when the time is right. 
Hulk asks the
man if he should “dazzle” him with more movie quotes or
if he should just go straight to pulping him. The man says that
he didn’t want any trouble. Hulk says, “No kidding,
really?” Hulk tells the waitress to get a round of beers for
his new friends. Samson asks if he is paying for them too. Hulk
says that Samson can take it out of the royalties he gets for the
book. Hulk sits down and says that he played nice, and asks if
Samson is still concerned. Samson says that he is and asks if
Bruce isn’t concerned that Betty isn’t there. Bruce
says that she will be along since she said she would be there.
Betty sits in Rick’s apartment with Rick and Marlo, she is reading the Rick’s book. She reads off a passage where Rick talks about how he knew that she and Bruce were a perfect couple the first time he saw them. He wrote that they were both products of what their fathers made them. Betty says that Rick is full of it, and that he didn’t know any such thing. Rick says that it was 20/20 hindsight. Rick says that he wants to go join Bruce in the bar. He says that he wanted to celebrate and asks why she wanted to come there. Betty says that she just needed some time to think. She says, “When he came out after Leonard “cured him, and gave me that ‘Honey, I’m home’ line…”
Betty stood at the hospital in shock. Bruce told her to say something. Betty stammered, “Luh… luh…” Bruce asks if she is trying to say ‘love?’, but Betty finally shouted, “Leonard!” She says that she knew he said that he wouldn’t look like normal Bruce, but that she wasn’t expecting this. Bruce tells Betty that he understands this will take some adjustment time, but that this is him now, and that he is going to be this way all the time. Bruce says that Betty once left him because she couldn’t forgive the Hulk being part of his life, and asks if she is going to leave him again. Betty says, “I just… I just have to take it slow, okay?… okay… uh… Bruce?” Bruce says whatever she says.
Marlo admits that it was a weird scene and guesses that it must be hard to see her husband so changed. Betty says that Bruce was always so intellectual, and that it was his being quiet and restrained that attracted her to him. Betty says that if Samson is right that Bruce just wasn’t healthy then, and that she knows that if she loved him in sickness that she must also love him in health. She says that her head knows that, but that her body is telling her that he is not the man that she married in mind or body. She says that he terrified her, and that she was afraid to let him touch her. She asks Rick what he is looking at in his binoculars. Rick says that he thought that he saw something. Rick spots the large armored man and his companion standing outside the bar Bruce, Samson, and Ringmaster went to. Rick says that he bets that they are spoiling for a fight and tells the ladies to stay there. Betty asks what is wrong with the testosterone level in this country where big bruisers are always pounding on each other. She asks if they can’t get a minute to breathe.
Prometheus reports to the Mount. He says that he has arrived at the bar and that he is just going to have to wait for Ulysses and his people to do their thing and hope that he doesn’t have to do his.
Hector, Ulysses, and Atalanta walk up to Hulk’s table. Hector says that they liked the way that he handled those rowdies and was wondering if they could join them. Bruce tells them to go ahead and sit down. Bruce introduces himself, Samson, and “Ringo”. Ulysses, Hector, and Atalanta introduce themselves. Bruce says that they are interesting names and asks if they are on an odyssey. Ulysses says that they are on an odyssey of discovery. He says that they are looking for a way to have less violence in their lives. Bruce says that it is a violent world, and that all you can do is react. Hector says that everyone reacts… even guys like the Avengers. He says that they sit around waiting to launch some plan, but that they never have their own plan. Bruce asks if they know why super teams get formed. He says, “Because when they walk down the street individually, people laugh at them. But when they travel in groups, they can always figure that people are laughing at someone else in the gang.” Hector and Atalanta laugh, but Samson says that he doesn’t think that it funny. He says that the Avengers and FF do good work. Bruce tells Samson to lighten up and asks if he is repressed. Samson says that he is and excuses himself to go to the bathroom. Atalanta says, “It doesn’t have to be a violent world. There are those who can make a difference. You can make a difference. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” Bruce asks if they are religious nuts or something. Ulysses says that they are just individuals concerned about the state the world is in and hoping for an ideal world. Bruce says that it will never be an ideal world as long as there are people in it. Ulysses says that maybe the right kind of people can make it ideal. Hulk asks what makes them the right kind of people. Hector says, “Because… we’re so cool.” Hulk laughs and says that is a good answer.
Hulk spots Rick running toward the bar. Prometheus tries to block Rick’s way with the car, but when Rick starts to run around the car he trips him. Bruce tells Rick that he is coming. Atalanta tells him to wait and says that he wants to keep talking to him. Bruce says later. Ulysses tells him not to go out there and says that he is warning him. Hulk leers down at Ulysses and asks, “You’re warning me?” Hulk pushes Ulysses and says that nobody threatens him and nobody tells him what to do. Atalanta leaps onto Hulk’s arm and says, “Don’t do it! We want to…” Hulk whips his arm and slides Atalanta off his arm. He says, “I don’t give a smoked ham what you want. And I don’t what to hurt you… so take off!” Someone asks Atalanta if she is okay and she says that she is fine.
The large
armored man starts freaking out. He says, “He hurder! He
hurd Adlanna! I’ll killim! Now!!! Achilles tries to stop
Ajax, but Ajax charges Hulk.
Hulk says that the street is shaking and wonders if it is an earthquake. Bruce hears “killim!” and turns to see the enormous Ajax bearing down on him. He says, “Kill you for hurding Adlanna! Kill yoo!” Hulk thinks about leaping out of the way, but realizes that people in the bar would be injured if he did. Bruce charges right into Ajax and asks if he transforms into a cassette player or something. Hector asks Ulysses what they should do now, and Ulysses responds that they try to contain the damage. Ulysses activates his energy sword and charges in. He says that if it weren’t for Ajax that they might have been able to pique the Hulk’s interest peacefully. He says that this fighting is so cliché. Hulk punches Ajax and says that he didn’t hurt “Adlanna”, but that he can’t say the same for him. Ajax pounds Hulk into the ground and says that he talks smart like Paris. He says that Paris wants “Adlanna” too, but that no one but him can have her. Bruce says, “The old Bruce Banner, when he had the Hulk’s body, couldn’t get madder and stronger. But this is the new Bruce Banner. And the new Hulk. Getting madder isn’t a problem with me. Neither is getting stronger.” Hulk kicks Ajax into the air and waits for him to drop back down so he can hit him, but before Ajax gets there, Atalanta fires an arrow of pure energy into Hulk’s chest. Bruce howls in pain. Ajax hits the ground. Atalanta tells Hulk to back away from Ajax and fires another three arrows into Hulk’s chest. Hulk says, “You people… are really starting… to hack me off.” Hulk lifts Ajax into the air. He says, “Hey you! Wilma Tell! You’re so concerned about Mister Machine here? Take him!” Hulk throws Ajax at Atalanta, Ulysses, and Hector. They all run out from in front of the restaurant. Samson emerges from the bathroom and is hit by the hurtling Ajax.
Hulk notes the irony that just busted up the bar that he was trying not to let Ajax destroy. He says that people might have been hurt, but decides that they get what they get and that they shouldn’t be out boozing anyway. Ajax punches Samson in the face because he has green hair and must be a friend of the guy that “hurd Adlanna”. Ringmaster says that he is going back to prison where it is safer.
Marlo is watching through the binoculars and says that they have to do something. Betty says that they stay out of the way while they try to show who is the biggest he-man. Marlo asks how she can be so heartless. Betty says that she does it to convince herself not to be terrified.
Hector wraps his energy mace around Hulk’s wrist. Hector floats into the air and says that he has paralyzed Hulk’s left arm. Hulk sarcastically says that he can’t even support the weight of it. Hulk drops his arm and drops Hector to the ground. Ulysses says that Atalanta is having the most success and for her to keep it up. Atalanta shoots him again and Hulk yells at her to stop it. Ulysses tries to hit Hulk with his sword, but Hulk moves out of the way and Ulysses slashes a car. Ulysses says that was a nice dodge, but Hulk says that it looks like a Buick. Hulk tries to pound Ulysses, but he blocks with an energy shield. He calls for some help. Prometheus shoots Hulk from his car. Hulk says that he remembers this loser. Rick is hit in the shoulder by a bullet. Achilles says that he will take care of Hulk. He punches Hulk. Hulk says that punch wasn’t bad. He hits Achilles back. Achilles says that he can’t be hurt, but a trickle of blood pours out of his nose. Hector, Atalanta, and Ulysses leaps at Hulk. Ajax pounds Samson and says that he is coming. Prometheus wraps cables around Hulk’s ankles. Hulk starts getting electrified. He looks and sees Rick is injured and suddenly collapses. The Pantheon loads hulk onto their ship and take off. Betty tells Samson to act quickly, but he is still too disoriented.
On the ship, Ulysses says that battle was a disaster. He says that they are going to have a long talk about procedures. Hulk is pretending to be unconscious. He says that they can talk about procedures like the way he pretended to be hurt in order to make sure that no more innocents were injured in battle. Hulk thinks that he will allow himself to be taken “prisoner” so he can find out where they come from, and that he will bring it crashing down around their ears.
No Excuses rating: 7.5 out of 10
I have to say that this was a terrible follow up issue to what is one of the greatest comics ever. It’s bad enough that we had to wait through a filler issue, but then the repercussions of the merger are not addressed. I like the bits where we get to see Bruce’s new cocky style, I really would have preferred that the issue dealt with the Hulk and Banner in this new way instead of introducing the Pantheon. The bad news is that after reading this issue I not only think that they are religious nuts, but they seem to be rejects from some mythological homosexual bathhouse. The good news is that they get cooler later on. Dale does another great job, but I wish that the Pantheon didn’t look like the Broadway cast of Saturday Night Fever.