Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #380

Title: “Crazy Eight”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Bill Jaaska

Inker: Jeff Albrecht

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

A bald headed woman smokes a cigarette in her cell as the guard presents her with chicken cordon bleu, fluffy white rice, asparagus tips, chocolate mousse, and a diet Coke. She tells her to enjoy her last meal. The woman kicks the table over. She says that she changed her mind. She says to order Domino’s and that it will be here in 30 minutes. She says that it will be there in more than enough time. She says to make sure that Samson is there and that he owes her. One of the guards tells “Craze” that she is something keeping up the nutso shtick. He says that it didn’t help her in court, and that it won’t help now. He asks if she hears the crowd outside and that they want her dead.

Outside, the Senator’s wife arrives. They shout to her that Crazy Eight’s number is coming up tonight. They shout her husband’s killer is going to cook.

Crazy Eight says to make sure there is extra cheese on it.

Elsewhere, Marlo says that at least the bleeding from his shoulder stopped. She says that they need to get him to a hospital. Rick says that they don’t have time and that hospitals are for wimps. Ringmaster says that is machismo… or stupidity. He says that he often confuses the two. Samson says that Marlo is right, and that there is nothing more they can do there. Betty says that Samson has done quite enough by himself. Samson asks what Betty means. He says that he doesn’t know who those people who carried Bruce away were. Betty shouts that he isn’t Bruce and that she doesn’t care what Samson says. Rick says that Betty is just upset. Betty says that she isn’t upset… she’s furious. She says that she doesn’t care if he is whole for the first time in his life. She says that he is not the man that she fell in love with. She asks how she is supposed to accept that. Samson says that he knows that it will take some time to get used to. Betty says that you get used to losing your hair or your hearing. She says that she lost a whole person, and that Samson is the one that misplaced him. Rick says that Samson warned her about the risks. Betty says that they were the risks if he failed. She says that Samson seems to consider this a roaring success. She says that is all men ever try to do is solve everything single-handedly whether they should or not. Betty pauses. She says that she is not going to cry in front of him. She says that Samson keeps sticking his nose into their lives and that things just get worse and worse. She yells at Samson to stay out of her life. Betty says they have to get Rick to a hospital. Rick says, “But…” and then Marlo and Betty both shout for him to move now. Ringmaster asks if Betty’s last job was as a bouncer. Samson says that she was nun. Ringmaster says that explains it. The cop checks Samson’s idea and says that he is going to tell him everything that happened here. Nick Fury says that he isn’t, but that he is going to tell him. Ringmaster says that he thinks he’ll be going. Fury says that where he is going is back to jail, and that his leave of absence is up. Fury tells Samson that they are going to talk.

In the SHIELD helicopter, Samson tells Fury that he heard about Clay Quartermain and that he is sorry. He says that only the good die young. Fury says that explains why he is still kicking. Fury asks Samson what he thinks he was playing at. He says that he is pulling some stunt with Banner, and using his ID to spring Ringmaster. He says that he could have him up on charges. Samson says that he has authority to act as a consultant in the matter of the Hulk. He says that if Fury wants to take him to court to debate how far that consultancy goes that he is up for it. Fury says, “Freakin’ civilians. So tell me what happened Salad Head.” Samson says that he integrated all the aspects of Bruce Banner’s multiple personality and got a large, green entity with an attitude. He says that before he could study him that he was kidnapped by a half dozen individuals. He says that there was a walking tank and various people armed with energy weapons. Fury seems less than thrilled that it was the Pantheon. Samson asks who they are. Fury says that it is none of his business. He says that he will get his people on it, and that Samson is off it. He says that Samson has an appointment at state pen with Crazy Eight. He says that she gets the chair at sun up. Samson says that it had been so long that he had forgotten about her. Fury says that she didn’t for get about him, and that she asked for him to be there. Fury says that the government wants a super type there in case she makes a break for it. He says that Samson is elected since he knows her best. Samson says that he doesn’t feel like he knows her at all. Fury says that is funny considering it was his testimony that put the final nail in her coffin. Samson says that he knows and that he remembers.

In the past, the District Attorney asks Samson what he knows about Leslie Anne Shappe. Samson says that he doesn’t know much about Crazy Eight. The District Attorney says that he can show him something that was on the network news. He says that he is surprised Samson didn’t see it on TV. Samson says that he doesn’t believe in TV and says that it is just a fad. The DA runs the clip. Crazy Eight is seen fighting with Wonder Man. The DA says that she is a killer. He says that they don’t know if she is freelance or if she just does it for kicks. He says that she uses a sword and that she has paranormal strength from an unknown source. The DA says that she had been restricted to killing shady underworld types. He says that it made her popular with the media, and that he and his men weren’t exactly busting their humps to catch her. He says that then for no apparent reason she whacked the head of Senator Ray Hartwell. He says that Hartwell was on the fast track to the presidency. He was a popular man and that was the end of her sympathy vote from the cops. While she was trying to escape from that murder the police showed up. He says that the cops slowed her down long enough for Wonder Man to show up. He says that was a lucky break. He says that Wonder Man took her down, but that as Samson can see that it wasn’t without a struggle. While watching the tape, Samson asks who the injured woman is. The DA says that is Mrs. Hartwell. He says that as near as they can tell that she tried to get in Crazy Eight’s way, and that she rough her up for it. Samson says that is interesting, but asks what he wants from him. The DA says that next week will be a hearing over whether she gets the death penalty or not. He says that her attorney is arguing that she is totally amoral and that she doesn’t know or understand what she was doing. The DA says that they had someone lined up to testify to the contrary, but that he had a heart attack yesterday. He says that they could ask for a continuance, but that his boss is breathing down his neck. The DA says that he would like to have Samson step in. He says that nine of the jurors are women and that they will listen to a hunky high profile man like him. He asks what Samson says. Samson says that he has to talk to her first. The DA says, “Done”.

Samson thanks the guards and tells them they can go. The guards ask if he is sure and says that she can be pretty nasty. Samson says that he is sure. Samson asks Leslie if she knows who he is. She asks if he is a guy that botched his dye job. Samson introduces himself and says that he is a psychiatrist for the DA. Leslie says that he wants him to say she’s fine so he can cook her. She says that he has made up his mind before he walked in there and to stop wasting her time. She says that she would rather be basking in Cote D’Azur. She asks what it will take for him to tell them she is a loony. She starts taking off her shirt. Samson asks her to button her shirt up. Leslie stands behind Samson. She puts her hand inside his jacket and says right near his ear, “Ever make it with a nutcase, Lenny?” Samson tells her that is enough. And then repeats himself. Leslie says that she guesses that she is too much woman for him. She asks if he minds that she smokes. Samson says that he does, but she proceeds to light a cigarette anyway. Samson tells her to tell him about herself. Leslie says that it was her father that did it to her. She says that she was seventeen and it was disgusting. She says that is why she is like this. Samson says that according to her file that her father died when she was nine. Leslie says that maybe it was the milkman then… or the high school football team. She says that she was a cheerleader and that it’s hard to remember. She says that shrinks want the easy answers… the childhood traumas… the big problems. She says that no one goes to garbage men and asks them what drove them to hauling trash. She says that she is a trash collector. She sees the trash and collects it. She says that she disposes of it and that she likes it. She says that she likes to see the heads fly, and know that the guy won’t be around to make more misery for more people. She says that she gets off on it. Samson says that, believe it or not, that he is on her side. He says that he wants to help her. Leslie smashes her chair to pieces over the table and says that he wants to help her to the chair. She says that everyone wants to be her friend and that everyone is so smart. She says that if he is so smart to let her see his notepad. She says that she wants to draw him something. She asks him what it is. Samson says that it is the symbol for infinity. Leslie says that finally someone with some brains. She says that she carved that onto the chest of the first guy she killed to mean that nothing ever ends. She says that included her fight against the crud that makes like miserable for people. She says that is what she wanted to be called. She asks if Infinity isn’t a great name. She says that some dumb cop said right into the TV cameras that “there was some sort of crazy eight carved on his chest.” She says that Crazy Eight is the name that stuck and asks if that doesn’t stink. Samson says that she killed underworld figures. Leslie says that they were criminals. Samson says that they hadn’t been convicted of anything. Leslie says that she convicted them. Samson asks about the Senator. Leslie takes a drag off her cigarette and says that she didn’t like his politics. Samson asks Leslie if she thinks she is crazy. Leslie puts her cigarette out on her hand. Samson gets up freaking. She gets close to his face and says, “Yeah I’m crazy. Crazy about you, Lenny.” She walks away and laughs.

In the courtroom, the district attorney says that Samson has interviewed Ms. Shappe, studied her files, and the statement of other psychiatrists. He asks if Samson thinks Ms. Shappe was aware of her actions. Samson says that he believes that Ms Shappe, while having her own set of values that would be considered aberrant, was fully aware of what she was doing and the rightness and wrongness of her action. He asks Samson if she is repentant of her actions. Leslie pouts her lips and says, “Mmm-waa”. Samson says, “No. Not in the least.”

The people outside waiting for the execution continue to party. Samson and Fury walks to Leslie’s cell as the priest is giving her the last rites. Leslie compliments Samson’s shiner. She says that between him and “Danger Mouse” that they got two good eyes between them. She asks him if he likes the haircut they gave her and says that it helps her stay “current”. Samson asks Fury if he minds. Fury says that he will see him after and they can talk more about his experiments on Bruce. Samson asks her what was with the priest. He says that her file says she is Jewish. Leslie says that she figured that she might as well get as much help as she can. Leslie asks Samson if he ever did something that he knew was right, but that it blew up in his face. Samson says that as recently as yesterday. He asks her how killing Senator Hartwell was right, and that he thinks she would have escaped the death penalty if it weren’t for that. Leslie says that Samson’s testimony helped with that. She says that as far as the Senator goes that she put an end to him. She says that is the trick though. She says that it never ends. She says, “infinity, moebius loop, only crazy thing I ever did was stay in the loop for so long. Getting off is the first sane thing I’ve done.” Leslie says that Samson really is cute. She says that he is self-righteous and a little thick, but cute. Samson asks her to tell him why she did it. Leslie strokes Samson’s face and says that he wants a neat packaged explanation. An incident or a trauma that made her what she is. She says that maybe she decided that the world was someplace that she didn’t want to be, but that she was too gutless to leave it herself. She says that she decided that she would give them a reason to send her off, and trash a few bad guys on the way. She asks if that makes him happy. She says that maybe it’s just that they are what they are, and that’s all… except it never is.

The Senator’s widow cries and keeps looking at a piece of paper. The priest tells her that soon this nightmare will be over and she can get on with her life. Samson thinks to himself that at least she will have life to get on with. He wonders hat the paper she keeps looking at is. Suddenly Leslie goes nuts. She starts trashing guards. Samson rushes in. Leslie says not to stop her. She says that she changed her mind and that she still has things to do. She warns Samson to stay back, and that she isn’t as feminine as she looks. Samson asks her not to make him hurt her. Samson flips Leslie over. Leslie says that she will kill him and that she will kill all of them. She says that “you all stink of muscles and sweat and bad aftershave!” Samson gets her in a full nelson. She tells him to let her go and she will blacken his other eye. Samson holds Leslie while they fasten the restraints. She begs Samson to help her escape and that she will do anything for him. Samson says that he is sorry. Once the restraints are fastened she says that she is okay now. She says that she just lost it for a minute. She looks at Samson and says, “It never ends, Lenny. Love ya.” They put the mask on and lower the cap. They throw the switch and Leslie is killed.

Inside the observation room, the Senator’s widow says that it should have been her. She says that she should be dead. Samson says that she can’t wish that she were dead instead of her husband. He says that he is dead, and that Leslie Shappe is dead, but that she has to go on living. Samson picks the picture she was looking at up for her. He looks at it and Mrs. Hartwell repeats that it should have been her… and then adds that it should have been her in that chair. Samson looks at the photo. Leslie Shappe and Beth were cheerleaders together and best friends in high school. Samson asks why she killed her husband and beat on her, but then he realizes. He says that Leslie didn’t beat her up… it was her husband. Beth Hartwell says that her husband threatened her if she ever told anyone about the beatings. She says that he was rich and powerful. She says that she had no one else to turn to. She says that she hadn’t seen Leslie in years and that no one knew about them. She says that she told Leslie about how he was killing her, and that she said she would take care of it. She says that she offered to pay Leslie, but that she didn’t want the money. She admits that she had Leslie kill him. She says that she should have died with her. She should have told someone, but that she was too scared. She falls to her hands and knees and Samson walks out on her.

Outside one of the yahoos asks Samson, “Hey Doc, did she dance good? Did she squeal at the end?...” Samson grabs the guy and slams him against the wall. He says that he will kill him. The guy says that he is sorry and Samson regains his composure. He says, “No. No, she didn’t squeal at the end. Because it never ends.” Samson walks away.

No Excuses rating: 9 out of 10

Another very dramatic issue. In one issue we meet and lose Leslie Shappe… and we care. It’s a shame really because she seems like she would be a great character to have around. There aren’t enough strong female characters. She would be a great opponent for the She-Hulk if she can take on Wonder Man. Though one has to wonder if she would have the impact she had if she weren’t dead. Jaaska does a superior job in this issue. He has really nice storytelling abilities, really nice facial features that show expression, and some interesting angles and images. I would like to see him get more work and really hone his skills. 4 out of 5 for the art.

Review and picture by The Leader

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