Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #391

Title: “X-Calation”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Dale Keown

Inker: Mark Farmer

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

Hulk shouts at Rick that he wants to know what he means by saying that he is wrong. Hulk is right up in Rick’s face and Rick asks Bruce if he brushed this morning. Hulk asks what Rick meant by saying that he was wrong fighting alongside the Pantheon in Trans-Sabal. Rick repeats that he didn’t say Hulk was definitely wrong, but asks if he has seen who the “bad guys” are. Rick tosses down a hunk of metal with the SHIELD emblem on it. He says that he got it off one of the guys that Hulk trashed. He says that it is SHIELD, the biggest good guy organization in the world. Hulk says that the only thing this proves is that even the good guys can be on the wrong side every now and then. Rick says that was kind of his point. Hulk yells that Rick can sit on his point and slams his the SHIELD plate against the table destroying it. Hulk walks out and Rick sits there whistling. Rick walks out and Hulk is outside the tent. Hulk says that he does share Rick’s concern to a point. Rick says that Bruce could have fooled him. Hulk says that he admits that they are shaky ground legality-wise, but not morally. He says that they aren’t making decisions based on international politics, but on human rights. Hulk asks Rick if there hasn’t been times when he saw what was going on in the world and thought that he wished he could change things. Rick admits that there has been. Hulk says that is what they are doing there. Rick starts to respond, but Hector and Ulysses walk up. They say that they have a planning session that they would like Hulk to join. Hulk says that he will come. Ulysses says that Rick can come if he wants. Rick says that he will take a pass. As Hulk, Hector, and Ulysses walk away, Rick sees a native soldier and asks his name. The soldier says that his name is Shurk, and Rick asks him to talk for a minute.

Farnaq tells Galvin that he has heard that his task force has arrived and says that he trusts that he will be impressed. Galvin tells him not to worry about that. Farnaq sees the team and says that he didn’t realize that there would be so many “charming ladies” present. He says that Americans are so much more progressive in such matters. He kisses Val Cooper’s hand. He then kisses Lorna Dane’s hand, and then moves on to Rahne Sinclair’s. Guido holds out his giant hand and asks Farnaq to try and not slobber on his mitt. Val introduces the entire team to Farnaq. Alex asks what the deal is, and says that he heard it has something to do with the Hulk. Galvin says that Hulk has hooked up with a group called the Pantheon, and that they are a bunch of vigilantes roaming the world and doing “good” as they see fit. Alex says that it sounds like the X-Men, but Lorna chastises him. Galvin says that now they are attacking one of the US’s allies, and that now the Hulk is helping them. Val says that they can handle the Hulk. Quicksilver says that they will use his stupidity against him. Galvin says that the Hulk is extremely smart and crafty now. Alex says that he heard, but that he is smaller, gray, and weaker than before. Galvin says that actually he is bigger, greener, and stronger than ever. Guido says that they are pure of heart though and so they will win. Farnaq says that he doesn’t care how it is done just that it gets done. He says that he wants Pantheon and Hulk out of his country and where they cannot have an influence on his people. He says that the faster it gets done that the more pleasantly disposed he will be toward their government. He asks if they understand and walks out. Lorna asks Guido if he was a “blork”. Guido says that he was a “stupid-head”. He tells Lorna to remind him to beat Farnaq senseless before they leave. Jaime says that he will remind him if Lorna forgets.

Ulysses points out a sector outside the city of Jaffan. He says that the Sendra Pass is the perfect place to cut their supply line. He says that they could even hit them from the front and back. He tells Hector that his platoon will take the lead. Hector asks why he is always the point man. Ulysses says that it is because Hector is the best. Hector can’t argue with that. Hector points out that the US Air Force is protecting that air space. Hulk says that he wouldn’t worry about that.

Shurk tells Rick that he comes from Jaffan. He says that his father was a newspaper editor until he wrote editorials against Farnaq Dahn. He says that one day the newspaper and his father just disappeared. Rick says that stinks and that he didn’t know. Shurk says that his mother raised a fuss with the local police, but that she was held for questioning for a week. He says that when she came home that she hardly spoke. He says that she was covered in bruises and then he starts to cry. He says that when he heard that the Pantheon was coming to liberate their country that he had to join them. Rick asks what his mother thought of that. Shurk says that he doesn’t know because she killed herself after his father’s disappearance. Rick says that he is sorry. He says that he knows what it is like to lose your parents.

Betty and Marlo sit in a coffee show waiting to meet Rick’s mother. Betty is tapping a mug with a spoon, but Marlo stops her and tells her to calm down. Betty asks how she is supposed to do that, but then Jackie Shorr arrives. She says that she is Rick’s mother, and thanks them for seeing her. Betty asks her to sit down and asks if she wants something. Jackie asks for some black coffee. Jackie asks who Marlo is. Marlo say that she is Rick’s girlfriend. Jackie is stunned. She says that she realizes Rick is grown, but that she was just caught off guard. She tells Marlo that she is very striking. Betty tells Jackie that she wants to know, before they go any further, where she has been. Jackie says that she was out of the country because of some men that were after her. She says that they are in jail now, but that she kept up with what was happening to Rick. She asks how she could not with his “Teen Brigade” and teaming with Captain America. She says that it sounds like such an exciting life. She says that she had thought to herself that after so many years that it might be better if she stayed out of Rick’s life, but then she read his book and about his sad childhood. She says that she saw the wire services about how Betty and Rick were both living in Reno. Betty asks why she left him in the first place. Jackie says that is a very long story.

Trans-Sabal soldiers wait in a line with artillery and tanks. In one tank, the men are looking at the “American decadence” in the form of a Playboy magazine. They denounce it and yet can’t stop looking at it. One of them looks through the eye piece to make sure no one is approaching. He sees nothing. He says that there is no one within a million miles, but then suddenly his entire viewing space is filled with the face of the Hulk. Hulk is standing feet away from them. He says that he knows they are wondering how he got there. He says that he burrowed there, but that they have an opportunity to surrender and avoid a lot of needless violence. Hulk says that he wouldn’t surrender, but that it would be in their best interests to do so. The soldiers start firing. Hulk sighs and fires some gas grenades. One of the soldiers radios out that they are being gassed. Three rogue jets swoop down on the area and carpet bomb the entire area. Hulk yells at them. He says that he was trying to be considerate and just gas them, but then they blow up their own people. Hulk says that they think that he is a monster and suggests they look in a mirror as he leaps through one of the jets and destroys it.

Hector watches Hulk demolishing the jets. He orders the men to “rock and roll”. Rick suggests that Shurk put some armor on.

On the Sendra Pass, Hulk steers another of the rogue jets into the supply caravan. As he leaps off he is hit with a plasma blast. Hulk hits the ground and wonders where that came from. He says that they would need a gun the size of a building to generate that kind of fire power. Hulk looks up and sees X-Factor. Havok tells Hulk that he is there under the authority of the United States government. He tells him that he is violation of treaties and tells him to surrender. Polaris whispers to Havok to say please. Havok asks that Hulk please surrender. Hulk charges and asks if the other X-Factor knows that they stole their name. Polaris fires some chunks of metal at Hulk, but Hulk leaps to the ground and knocks X-Factor off their feet. Through his headset, Guido is told by Havok to charge Hulk. Guido plows into Hulk, but Hulk grabs him in a headlock. He says that he never thought that he would fight someone with biceps as big as his that had a brain the size of a walnut. Rahne charges Hulk, but Hulk swats her away and tells “Toto” that it is “back to Kansas” for her. As Hulk punches Guido in the face, Polaris thinks about how Jean Grey told her how she slowed Hulk down by tk’ing his eyes shut. She decides to try the next best thing. Polaris wraps shards of metal around Hulk’s face to form a mask. Four Multiple Men tackle the Hulk while he is blinded.

Val Cooper, Farnaq Dahn, and Mr. Galvin watch the fight through Farnaq’s spy plane. She says that the plane is quite an asset. Farnaq says that Val has a nice “asset” as well and grabs her butt. Val slaps his face and Farnaq asks how dare she. Galvin steps in the middle and tells them to remember that they are on the same side.

Hector’s squad joins the battle. Shurk asks why Rick isn’t shooting. Rick says that he never killed anyone before, and that he thought Hulk just wanted him there for moral support. Suddenly Shurk is hit. Rick grabs Shurk’s gun and starts firing. Shurk lies dying and asks Rick if he got them. Rick says that he did and that Shurk shouldn’t move, but Shurk doesn’t answer.

Hulk tears the metal mask off and asks if they haven’t gotten it yet. He says that they are just an annoyance to him, and that if he were wearing a flea collar that this would be over by now. Hulk leaps at Polaris and says that she is the one giving him the most trouble. When Hulk is airborne, Havok tells everyone to clear out of the way. Havok blasts Hulk back to the ground. Hulk says that is the last time that he is going to use him for target practice. Havok’s power radiates out of him. Havok asks why Hulk is slowing down as he comes at him. He asks if one of the fleas is starting to itch. Hulk asks what he is doing. Havok says that gamma rays, that are part of Hulk’s ambient aura, are one of the components of cosmic rays, which he absorbs. Havok says that he is powering up using Hulk’s energy. He tells Hulk to surrender or that he will blast him and that in his weakened condition that he won’t survive. Hulk tells Havok to drop head.

Ajax, Atalanta, and Prometheus arrive at the camp. Ulysses greets them. Atalanta asks what the status is. Ulysses is about to say that everything is under control when there is an enormous explosion on the horizon.

FOLLOW THE STORY INTO X-FACTOR #76

No Excuses rating: 8 out of 10

See last issue’s review for why the writing score is so low. On the plus side, Hulk against X-Factor is a cool development, but the notion that Havok could really stand against Hulk is decidedly not cool. Keown does an outrageously good job with the pencils in this issue. He has some great shots and some really cool perspectives. To be a nitpicker, I kept the perfect score off the art because Rick’s face got really long in this issue and his “mother” looks horrendous.

Review and pictures by The Leader

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