Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #405

Title: “Downtime”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Gary Frank

Inker: Cam Smith

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

Ulysses stands with an apple clenched between his legs. Atalanta, holding a bow in her hand, tells him to top squirming and that a bet is a bet. Hulk stands by watching. Ulysses says that she could at least use her plasma bolts since she can mentally control those. Atlanta says that she has been too dependant on them. She says that she needs some target practice and that she has been getting sloppy. Ulysses asks how sloppy. Atalanta tells him to stop squirming again and says that three out of four times she makes this shot. The arrow hits with a thud, but Ulysses has his hand over his eyes. He says that he didn’t feel anything, but that maybe the pain hasn’t registered. Atalanta takes the arrow and apple and shows Ulysses. She says that all his goodies are intact. Ulysses tells Hulk that he could have stopped her. Hulk says that a bet is a bet. He says that next time Ulysses things he can beat a kings high full house that he had better have the cards. Hulk says that Ulysses’ report on his Iraq mission was sketchy. He says that he wants more details. Ulysses says that they never used to fill out written reports, Hulk says that things change and walks away.

As Hulk walks down the hallway, he thinks that maybe he should circulate his own reports. He figures that at least people would know what he was looking for. He says that he will write up the business with the Red Skull and Juggernaut. Hulk pats two kids’ head that are fighting over a Spider-Man doll. He tells them to play nice. The kids quietly agree and tell him just not to hurt them. Hulk walks up to Atalanta and asks her how she thinks he is doing at being leader of the Pantheon. Atalanta says that there is a difference to leading and being in charge. She says one is easy and the other hard. She excuses herself.

Atalanta walks into her room and mutters to herself that she doesn’t know why Agamemnon did what he did. In the dark she sees someone in her room. Atalanta’s bow and arrow glow with plasma energy. Achilles reveals himself and tells her that it is just him. He says that it is just them. Achilles and Atalanta kiss. Atalanta stops. She says that this is asking for trouble. She starts to talk about Ajax, but Achilles says that Ajax is still laid up and that she knows that he heals slower than they do. He says that she can’t shape her life around him forever. Atalanta scoops Achilles off his feet. He tells her to be gentle, but Atalanta says that he is invulnerable and that she is playing rough.

Paris visits the infirmary and asks the doctor how Ajax is doing. The doctor says that he should be ready to go in a day or so. Paris asks the doctor to release him and that he will take the responsibility. He says that he is after all his distant brother.

In Reno, Rick moves from “twinkle, twinkle” to “eensy weensy spider”. Rick tells her to try moving her hands by herself. Marlo’s hands fall to her lap. Rick puts his head in his hand. Betty asks how about if she takes over. She hands Rick a hot mug and says he has been at this for ages. She asks Rick if he has ever considered the wonders of modern razors. Rick says that she is funny as he answers a knock at the door. Elaine Schoenfeld introduces herself as a local attorney. She asks for a few minutes of his time and says that it could save them all a lot of hassle. Rick is spaced out. Elaine waves her hand in front of his face. He says sorry and says that he hasn’t been sleeping much lately. Elaine says that she understands. She takes out some papers and tells Rick that she has been hired by Marlo Chandler’s brothers. She says that this is a motion for legal guardianship because they are her next of kin. Rick says not to say “next of kin” because it makes her sound like she is dead. Elaine says that they just want what is best for her. Rick says that he knows what is best for her. He says that she is trapped in her body scared, and that he can hear her crying. He says that she needs someone who loves her to coax her out. He tells her to cram her motions in her briefs. He asks what she came there for anyway. Elaine says that she is a fan of Rick’s and says that she was hoping he’d listen to reason before it got ugly. Rick says that if they try to take Marlo out of there that it will get so ugly that if you look up “ugly” in the dictionary that there will be a picture of all this next to it. Elaine leaves. Betty asks Rick what he heck he meant by that. Rick says that he has no idea. The phone rings and Rick says that it is probably the Kree telling him they’re coming by to dismantle his brain.

Samson is on the phone. He tells Rick that it looks like Bruce is a no show and that he was thinking of swinging by there to work with Marlo. Samson looks back and Hulk is suddenly standing there. He asks Samson what he wanted to talk about.

Ajax walks down the hallway all excited about how happy Atalanta will be to see him. He knocks on her door. Atalanta shouts out to go away and that she is busy. Ajax barges in anyway. His face goes from one of happiness, to one of shock, to one of great anger. Atalanta says that they should talk about this.

Achilles flies through the building.

Samson says that Hulk is getting sneaky and that he didn’t hear him come in. Samson asks him to sit, but Hulk says that he would rather stand. Hulk looks at the fish tank. Samson asks Bruce how he has been. He asks if he has heard any voices or gallivanted on the astral plane. Bruce says that he hasn’t and that Samson did his job well. Samson asks if his moods have been consistent. Bruce says, “absolutely”. Samson asks if he has been calm. Bruce says that he is steady as a rock and that there are no mood swings of any kind. Samson says that is a little odd. He says that even the most well adjusted will have mood swings. He says that the only perpetually cheerful people he knows are Kathy Lee Gifford and Mister Rogers. Samson says that he doesn’t mean any offense, but that Bruce doesn’t have a lot of practice being well-adjusted. He says that it is a little hard to believe. Bruce asks if Leonard is calling him a liar. Samson says that he is just asking questions. Hulk tells Samson to hold on a minute and that he is getting a call. Hulk seems to be talking to no one. He says that is just wonderful. Bruce tells Samson that he is going to have to cut this short. Samson says that they just started. He tries to put his hand on Hulk’s chest, but his hand passes through him. Samson says that he is a hologram. Bruce says that it seemed more convenient. He disappears. Samson reaches for his tape recorder. He speaks into it and says that the first rule of medicine is to do no harm. He says that in the case of Bruce Banner that he is worried he may have violated it. He says that between Bruce, Rick, and Marlo that he doesn’t even know where to start.

Achilles hits the wall. Hector tries to stop Ajax, but Ajax just shoves him out of the way. Atalanta comes running after and asks Hector why he didn’t try and stop him. Ulysses compliments Achilles’ shorts. Achilles tells him to clear out and that Ajax is on a tear. Achilles braces himself and tells Ajax to go ahead and hammer away. Ajax shouts that he will kill him as he punches Achilles. Achilles says that he doubts it. Bruce walks in and asks what is going on. Achilles’ eyes open wide. Atalanta shouts for Banner to get away from Achilles. Ajax plows into Achilles and sends him flying into some boxes. Achilles is out cold. Ajax starts to charge. Atalanta shouts for Ajax to stop right now. She says that she loves him. Ajax turns with tears in his eyes toward Atalanta. She says that maybe love is a little strong and that he is still her man. Ajax shouts, “No moor lyze!” Hulk hits Ajax and says that is enough. He tells Ajax that he is his best friend in the whole world. Ajax says that Atalanta told him that he was, but that she is a “big doo-doo hed lyer!” Ajax throws Hulk. He says that he came there and that bad things happen. He says that he will make him go away. Atalanta agrees that there are no more lies. She says that she does love Achilles. She says that she loves him too, but in a different way. She asks if he understands. Ajax says that he understands that she loves him in a way that makes him want to smash her into “sploochy stuff”. Ajax raises his arms, but Hulk tackles him. He says for him to get away from her. Hulk and Ajax smash through the Mount’s exterior.

In Brazil, the cargo is loaded and the plane is headed for London, Heathrow. One of the ground crew tells the pilot that cigarettes kill. The pilot says that the day she heard that he sun kills you is the day she decided she didn’t care anymore. She says that the ozone is disappearing and asks what difference it makes what her lungs look like. The man says that there is nothing more confidence building than a pilot that doesn’t care about living. He tells her not to stop of any hitchhikers. As she climbs aboard, the pilot says, “Hitchhikers, right. Ha ha. Jeez, everybody’s a comedian.” A tail wraps around the landing gear of the plane as it climbs up.

Ulysses looks at the hole and says that tech support is going to love this. He says that they just fixed the hole that the U-Foes made. Atalanta is finishing dressing. She tells Ulysses to come with her and that they have to stop Ajax from hurting anyone. Ulysses says, “Yeah, anyone like me.” Atalanta grabs Ulysses by the beard hair. She tells him to get off his butt or next time it won’t be an apple. Ulysses says that he was just getting his sword.

Ajax knocks Hulk into a mountain and then charges into him. Ajax shouts that this never happened when “Memnon” was there. He says that he wants him back and for Hulk to go away. Hulk boxes Ajax’s ears and then kicks him off. Ulysses and Atalanta arrive. Ulysses asks where Ajax is. Hulk says that he is probably shaking off the kick he gave him like it was a love tap. Hulk asks just how strong Ajax is anyway. Atalanta says that they have never been able to measure. Ulysses says that all they know is that the madder he gets the stronger he gets. Hulk say that he hates “poetic justice”. They hear a noise and Ulysses says that is an avalanche. Hulk tells the to get out and that Ajax is attacking again. Ulysses says that Ajax is brining him mountain down on himself deliberately. Hulk says that is insane. Atalanta says that this is all her fault. She says that he is trying to kill himself and that it is all her fault. Hulk says that he told them to get out and that he meant it. He says that he will save him. Hulk leaps over.

Ajax smashes the mountain over and over. He says that Atalanta hates him, and that she always hated him. Hulk tries to put his arms around Ajax. He tells him that is enough and to pull it in. Ajax grabs Hulk by the neck and says, “She wuz laffing at me! You all wur! I knowed I’m dum’… but I din’ knowed I wuz thad dum’! I don’ wanna look at hur no more! An’ I don’ wan no one lookin’ ad me!” The mountain breaks apart and falls on them.

Ulysses says that it is only a ton of rubble. Atalanta says that if they knocked each other out first that they could smother. Ulysses spots them. Hulk is holding Ajax and telling him that it will be okay. Ajax cries that she said she loved him. He says that he wants Memnon and that Memnon loved him. Hulk says that it is okay. He says that he loves him and that they all do. He promises that it will be okay. A tear rolls down Atalanta’s eye.

Paris turns the monitor off. He says that he loves a good soap opera, but he wonders what will come next. He asks if Achilles will recover, and if he will blame the injury on his vulnerability whenever Bobby is around. He asks if Atalanta will dare to keep seeing Achilles and vice versa. He asks if Ajax will have to drop another mountain on himself. Paris asks if this will be considered a win or a loss in the Hulk’s struggle for dominance. He asks what other schemes he has up his sleeve. “And… what about Naomi?”

No Excuses rating: 10 out of 10

Review and pictures by The Leader

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