Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #407

Title: “More or Ness”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Gary Frank

Inker: Cam Smith

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

Bruce and Rick smile at Marlo while she talks to her mother on the phone. Marlo says that she has to do something with her hair and that it is like a rat’s nest. She tells her mom to stop crying because she will start then.

In Loch Ness, the tourists are on a boat tour. The tour guide gives them a bunch of facts about the loch. He says that they don’t care about that. He says that they want to know about Nessie… the monster. He says that some say the monster was fabricated by a bored journalist in 1933 who reported a couple had seen “an enormous animal rolling and plunging.” The tour guide asks if Saint Columbia lied back in 565 AD in describing a man bitten to death by a “monster”. He mentions the expedition in the early 1970’s by the Academy of Applied Sciences in Boston who reported soundings of a huge creature. Two Japanese tourists, looking through cameras, get all excited as they spot a tail sloshing through the water. They shout, “Hai! Godzilla!” The tour guide tells everyone to calm down and asks if anyone understands what the Japanese lads are saying. Suddenly a humanoid figure rises up out of the water at the front of the boat. Its hands grabs the front of the boat. The tourists swim for the shore as the monster demolishes the boat.

Back in Reno, Marlo tells her mother that as soon as she is rested up that she will come out for a visit. Keith tells Rick that he doesn’t know what happened with Marlo. He says that the hospital told them she was dead, but that she clearly isn’t. He says that he brought her out of wherever her head was. He says that she is talking a little slower, seems kind of nervous, but that otherwise she’s okay. He says that he and his brother just wanted to say thanks. Keith shakes Rick’s hand. Ray says that he wants to add something. Ray punches Rick in the stomach and says that is for tossing them around and giving them lip. Marlo tells her mother that noise was Ray punching Rick. She says that she knows how he gets sometimes. Marlo tells Ray that mom wants to talk to him. Keith asks if there is no hard feelings. Rick says that they’ll be peachy keen as soon as he cleans Ray’s clock. Samson tells him to let it go. Ray starts to tell his mother that he is too old for this. He rolls his eyes and says, :I’m sorry I hot ya, Rick. Okay?” Rick says, “Okay. Long as you’re sincere.” As they are leaving, Elaine shakes Rick’s hand and says that she is sorry they had to meet like this. She says that she really is a big fan. Rick says that it is no problem, and that he owes her for smoothing things over with the cops. He says that they were ready to throw him in jail. Elaine says that when things quiet down that she has a business proposition to discuss. Samson asks Betty what Bruce went into the kitchen for. Betty says that he was contacting “his people”, but that he is taking an awfully long time. Samson and Betty walk into the kitchen. There is a big hole in the wall. Samson says that he was afraid of this and that he is guessing the session he promised him is off. Samson wonders how someone makes a hole that big so quietly. Betty picks up the note and reads, “Dear Betty: something came up. Didn’t want to make a fuss about leaving, but you didn’t have a back door. Now you do. Will send someone over to fix. Tell Leonard I’ll reschedule. Love…” Betty says that is weird. She says that he signed it “Bruce”, but only after he wrote “Hulk” and crossed it out. Betty asks Samson what is happening to him.

Bruce meets with “Scott Shannon”. Scott says that what is happening in the loch is not good for business. He says that it was nice of him to come himself and asks if Aggy is really gone. Bruce says that he is. He says that Ulysses told him who he was when the summons came that he felt he should handle it himself… especially when a monster was mentioned. Bruce asks if his name in the Pantheon was Perseus. Perseus says to call him Scott, retired innkeeper. He says that he is the “brother” of the late previous owner… who was also him. He says that faking death for appearances sake is one of the prices of prolonged life. He says that true death will come soon enough. Scott shows Bruce a picture of his daughter Cassie and him in his prime. Bruce asks if he ever wishes for one last great adventure. Scott says that sometimes he does, but that he is careful what he wishes for lest he get it. He says that this is a good example. He says that the hotel thrives on the legend of the loch, and that the last thing they need is a real monsters nearly drowning his guests. He says that he is too old to go monster hunting. Bruce says that all he needs is a boat. He says that if it takes a thief to catch a thief that logically it takes a monster to catch a monster.

Out on the loch, Hulk says that it is gorgeous and misty. He says that it deserves its rep, and that every shadow fires the imagination. Hulk says that he wonders if he came because he was really the best suited for the job, or if he was just grabbing at whatever excuse he could do dodge Samson… and maybe even Betty. He says that he feels like to much more than he was, but that she looks at him like he is so much less. He wonders if she is right. The boat starts shaking. Hulk says that it is a nice night for a swim. He leaps out of the boat. The tailed monster smashes through the boat. Hulk sees him and says that monster is right. Hulk leaps at the monster and says that one thing is for sure. He says that he went ten rounds splashing about with the Juggernaut, and that he isn’t going to let himself get snagged and shoved underwater. The monster’s tail grabs Hulk and pulls him underwater. The monster gets pulled under. Hulk says that is one for the monster and that he didn’t see its tail, but that now he is out of tricks. Hulk grabs the monster by the tail and throws him to the land. Hulk leaps toward the land. He asks if the monster has a name so they can contact his next of kin. The monster lets off a blast that hits Hulk. The monster leaps into the air and grabs hold of Hulk. Bruce gets a good look at the monster’s face turning red. He says that he looks like the Red Skull, but that he sure isn’t him. Hulk asks if he is a clone or a demented groupie. Hulk and the monster hit the ground.

Mr. Shannon and the guests are watching the fight. One of the “guests” in the back is wearing a hat and trench coat. He says, “Ah. How charming.”

The monster blasts Hulk in the chest. Hulk says that the blasts aren’t bad, but that he has handled worse. Hulk thinks to himself that it hasn’t been recently  or that he can recall. Hulk claps his hands and the monster grabs his ears. Hulk hits the monster. It digs its claws into his chest. Hulk says that they are nasty claws, and that if he were a puny human he would be shaking. Hulk hits the monster again. Hulk walks over. He says that he doesn’t know who or what he is, and that he obviously isn’t telling him. He picks the monster up by its hair. Hulk says that he thinks the best thing to is to end this right now. The monster puts its hands on Hulk’s face. Suddenly the monster’s Red Skull face morphs into the savage Hulk’s face. The face says, “Hulk… will smash… you…” Hulk’s eyes open wide. He says, “What the devil…?” Suddenly a giant brown fist hits the Hulk from behind. Hulk goes down. Madman holds his hand out to the monster. He says, “My dear Piecemeal… excellent job, softening him up. Don’t be afraid. That’s right. Come here. My name, dear fellow, is Madman… and I think we’re going to be the bestest of friends.

No Excuses rating: 9 out of 10

The return of Madman! I’ve been waiting since this issue to say those words again! I love Madman. Bruce Banner wonders to himself if he is avoiding Samson and wonders if Betty is right when she looks at him like he is so much less. I enjoy the monster references and the loch is one of the places I’d like to visit before I die. Gary Frank continues to excel. My biggest problem with this issue is that it shares four pages with a Pantheon back up story. Speaking of which…

Title: “Ulysses”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Paul Pelletier

Inker: Cam Smith

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

September 30, 1955, in Detroit, James Dean is dead. Sixteen year old Walter Charles rides his motorcycle. He stops at the pool hall and goes in. The other members of his gang are there. Jack says to look who bothered to show up. He asks Walter if he heard. Walter says that of course he heard and asks Jack if he thinks he is deaf. Jack says that he thinks that he is the biggest pansy in the gang. He says that he doesn’t care about anything but himself, not even Dean. Walter shoves Jack and says, “Up yours, man!” Jack falls into the pool sticks. Walter says that he was his idol and Jack doesn’t say that he wasn’t. Jack tells Walter to just try it. A voice asks what the “idiots” are fighting over. They turn and see a man with a blond flat top haircut. He guesses that they are fighting over James Dean. They tell the man that he was the best actor… and the best man… in the country. The blond man says that James Dean was a moron that deserved to die in his car crash and make the world safer for other drivers. Walter shouts for him to take that back. The man asks, “Or what?” Jack hands Walter a knife and tells him to “do him” and that he has it coming. Walter tells him to take it back. The man says that he is shaking and then notes that he isn’t, but that the kid is. Walter tells him to take it back again. The man tells him to make him. Jack hits the man in the back of the head with a pool stick. The man falls forward into Walter’s knife. The pool hall’s operator tells him not to move. The gang runs. The operator says that he called an ambulance and the police. He says that those punks will pay for this. The man stands up and holds the bent knife. He thanks the man and says that his concern is appreciated.

No Excuses rating: 7 out of 10

Review and pictures by The Leader

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