Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #408

Title: “A Sinking Feeling”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Gary Frank

Inker: Cam Smith

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

Hulk is tied up with the chain connected to an anchor. He is sinking to the bottom of the loch.

Madman sits in a chair and talks with Piecemeal. He says that it is ironic. He says that for centuries debates have raged about whether there is a monster in the bowels of Loch Ness, and that they have made the question moot by providing their own monster. Piecemeal asks Madman who he is. Madman introduces himself and says that he has many shapes and appearances. He says that one of them was as a scientist spying on the NWO and being a participant in Piecemeal’s creation. Jack and Sandy hug. Sandy whispers that they are going to die. Jack whispers that he won’t let them hurt her. Madman says that unknown to his colleagues that he implanted a fail-safe device that made Piecemeal answerable only to him, along with a tracking device. He says that finding him after his escape was no problem. He says that encountering the Hulk was serendipity. Madman tells Piecemeal to lose Hulk’s face and that it is distracting. Scott Shannon tells Madman that he is the owner of the hotel and that he is scaring his guests. He orders him to leave now. Madman gets up and asks, “Oh really? Or what old man?” Scott punches Madman in the face. Madman says that upset him. Madman grows up into his giant form. He snatches up Jack and snaps his neck. He drops back down to human size and drops Jack on the ground dead. Madman tells Scott that he could have killed him, but that he didn’t kill him… he just upset him. He says that he has upset him now by killing one of his guests because of him. He says that now they are even and asks Scott if he wants to try again. Scott closes his eyes. Madman says that was wise. He says that he believes in equitable treatment. He says to look at the Hulk for example. He says that when they were last together that the Hulk left him poisoned and dying, but that he was sporting enough to leave the antidote nearby… though out of his reach. Madman says that it was out of reach for his normal form, but that he just increased his size and grabbed it easily. He says that the Hulk was kind enough to leave him an out and so he felt he had to return the courtesy… a sporting chance to cheat death. He says that they are civilized beings after all.

Hulk awakens as he plummets. He breaks the chains that bind him easily.

Madman says that even if Hulk revives that he will be near drowning anyway since he has no air stored in his lungs, and that since it is pitch black down there that he will have no way of knowing which way is up. Madman says that is unless he is level headed enough to follow his few remaining air bubbles. Madman says that is a lot of ifs, and that putting aside any unknowns… he say that this is Loch Ness after all.

Hulk looks around and can’t figures out which way is up. He sees his last few air bubbles going up. He starts to swim for the top when a long dark living form comes up under his feet. Hulk pushes off the monster’s head and surfaces.

Madman says that if there is one thing he has learned about the Hulk is that he doesn’t quite seem to know when to stay dead.  Piecemeal grabs Sandy. Sandy says, “Keep away from me! Keep… eeeeeeee!” Piecemeal palms Sandy’s face. His face turns into Sandy’s and he says, “Keep… eeeeeeee!” Madman says that Piecemeal’s absorption systems work better than they could have hoped. Piecemeal says that it wants to learn everything, but that it doesn’t know what to do first. Madman says that he is just an information sponge. He tells to try Scott next… see what it’s like to be an impotent old man. He tells Piecemeal to drain him dry though. He says that he can do that… leave him as a husk… because he is getting tired of his scowling. Hulk smashes through the wall and hits Piecemeal in the back. He says that now he is ticked. Madman looks at the clock and say that was a disappointment. He says that he expected him two minutes ago.

In Reno, Marlo is drying off her hair. She says that Rick said he wanted to make tonight really special to celebrate her “coming back”. She says that she doesn’t really feel like she went anywhere. Betty is in the bathroom collecting bottles. She asks Marlo if she remembers anything about “when Jackie, uh… knocked you out?” Marlo says that it was like what she told Leonard. She says that she remembers Jackie’s house and then nothing. She says that for some reason she has a picture of one of those “Egyptian things” in her head. Betty asks if she means a pyramid. Marlo says, “No, a… whattaya call it… an ankh, weird, huh?” She says that her back in still sore. She asks if Jackie hurt her bad. Betty says that it was pretty bad, yeah. She says not to dwell on it and that this is the first day of the rest of Marlo’s life. Betty says that they will do something special with her hair to celebrate. Marlo sits on the kitchen counter. She says that she is lucky that Betty is such a good friend. She says that otherwise she would be worried that Betty would want to get back at her from that time she accidentally turned her hair green. She asks Betty if she remembers the “Janitor in a Drum”, but says that Betty is too classy for that. Betty says, “Uh… yeah. Lucky you.” Betty puts the Janitor in a Drum back and walks out of the bathroom.

Piecemeal blasts at Hulk. He says that he doesn’t wish to hurt him… just kill him. Madman powers up. Piecemeal’s tail wraps around Hulk’s wrist and Hulk says, “Thanks for the concern.” Suddenly Piecemeal’s face becomes the merged Hulk’s face. He repeats, “Thanks… for the concern…” The gray Hulk’s face appears on Piecemeal and says, “Like ya really cared… ya jerk… or did ya seriously think… you could get ridda me that easy…” Piecemeal’s face becomes the savage Hulk’s face and says, “Stupid… smart Hulk! Real Hulk… will smash you!” Bruce Banner stares horrified at what he sees. Madman grabs Hulk from behind. He tells Piecemeal to kill him now. Piecemeal asks if he has to. Madman says that of course he has to. Scott runs out of the building. Piecemeal hits Hulk in the face. He says that he is sorry. He says that he understands Hulk and cherishes him in a way. He says that it is nothing personal. Hulk says, “You turn me inside out… rape my mind… and then tell me it’s nothing personal!” Hulk kicks Piecemeal through the wall. He says, “Dead wrong, Piecemeal! It’s very personal!” Madman holds Hulk in a headlock from behind. He says, “You are soooo cute when you’re angry…” Hulk says that he should see him when he is furious and that he is positively radiant. Hulk flips Madman over his back and slams him into the ground. Madman kicks Hulk in the stomach. He says that he doesn’t like Hulk, and that he tried to kill him. Madman hits Hulk. Suddenly Scott, now back as Perseus, charges at Madman with his glowing spear. He shouts, “For the glory of the Paaaanthee…” Suddenly Madman palms Scott’s head. He says, “Oh, look. A martyr.” Madman smashes Scott’s head against the ground and cracks his skull. Hulk shouts, “Perseus!” Hulk hits Madman and sends him flying through the wall. Madman says, “Wheeeeeee!”

Bruce picks Scott up.   He says that he thought he wasn’t going to wish for one last adventure. Perseus says that he has one more left to go. He tells Bruce to finish this one for him, and to tell Cassie to come home. Lightning comes down through the inn and hits Perseus. There is nothing but dust left in Hulk’s hands. He says, “Murderers…”

Madman shouts for Piecemeal to look out behind him. Piecemeal runs at Hulk as Hulk runs at him. He says that Hulk seems upset. He says to let him absorb him so he can understand. Hulk skewers Piecemeal with Perseus’ spear. Hulk tells him “absorb this” and then hurls him off the spear into the loch. Piecemeal hits the water. As he sinks in and dies he says that doesn’t understand and that he only wanted to live. Hulk turns and tells Madman that he is next, but Madman is gone.

In London, Killpower and Motormouth appear. Motormouth says that they are finally going to take a vacation, and that it will be nice to spend some time without “super-powered @#%!” trying to kill them.

No Excuses rating: 9 out of 10

More Madman! I hate that Madman’s appearances are limited by the back up stories. Just when they feel like they’ve begun they’re over. I love the Madman/Hulk fight. I can do without Piecemeal. His dissection of the Hulk incarnations just from touching Hulk’s face was really cool, but I’m not really sad that he was killed immediately after than never to reappear. I love the intricacies of Madman. “Oh, look. A martyr.” and then when Hulk punches him out of the room he shouts “whee!” because he’s flying through the air. Betty still should have gotten even with Marlo… Gray Frank does another great job with this issue. I took the half a point because I wanted a huge clear picture of Madman.

Title: “Ulysses part 2: First Contact”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Paul Pelletier

Inker: Cam Smith

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

The cops bust Walter after a motorcycle race that trashes Walter’s bike. The cop calls him a “punk greaser” and says that he always said that he would come to nothing. Walter says that he must love being right because it happens so rarely. He asks the cop if he has any pictures of his sister and then asks if he wants to buy some. Achilles watches. He radios in to a bald bearded man that the “bunny” was caught. He says that he hardly put up a fight and spent most of his time whining. Achilles asks if Aggy is sure about the bloodline. On his watch, the bald bearded man says that this raw recruit is more raw than the others. He says that it isn’t for them to question. They just follow orders. Achilles says that is what the Nazis always said.

In jail, three large men surround Walter and says that it looks like they got a greaser. One asks Walter what he is in for. Walter says that it is attempted murder and to just watch themselves. The large bald man picks Walter up by his shirt and says, “Only ‘attempted’? Ooo, I’m shakin’.” Walter yells for the guard to get him off. The guard tells him to do it himself, and that he isn’t his mother. Walter pops the guy, but then the other two men attack him from behind. The cop starts to laugh, but then he is hit from behind. Achilles tells him that he just went off duty. Achilles opens the doors and asks Walter how his day is going. Walter says that he thought he killed him. The two men say that he isn’t a cop. Achilles says that he knows. He says that he is there to offer Walter a new life. He says that unless Walter wants to spend his days watching his back against vermin like them. Achilles knocks them both out with one punch.

Another cop sees the downed guard. Achilles closes the cell from the inside. Walter says that it doesn’t seem like he can offer him anything except company as a cellmate. Achilles says that it must be nice to be a teenager and know everything. A glowing sword slices through the wall. The bald bearded man stands there with his glowing sword and shield. Walter asks who they are. The bald man introduces himself as Ulysses and says that is Achilles over there. He says to come on.

Two cops run into the cell and say they must have had a grenade or something. The other cop says that he didn’t hear an explosion. The run outside and see a glowing ship stream across the sky. The one cop asks the other if he saw that. The second cop says that he didn’t and the first cops agrees that he didn’t either.

No Excuses rating: 7 out of 10

Review and pictures by The Leader

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