Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #417

Title: “Party Animals”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Gary Frank

Inker: Cam Smith

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

Hulk knocks on Samson’s door and knocks it over. He says, “Hello, Leonard. May I come in?” Hulk walks in and smashes his head on the top of the door. Samson says to look at who finally showed up. He says that it seems that his talk with Rick worked, but that it doesn’t matter anymore. Bruce says, “Rick?” Samson tells Hulk to watch his head. Bruce thanks Samson, but then smashes his head on the next door he walks through anyway. Samson tells Bruce that he thinks that he should know that he is leaving. He says that he can’t help him when he clearly doesn’t want his help. He says that Bruce feels that he is completely in control and that nothing he has said has shaken that belief. Bruce stands in the other room looking at his reflection in the mirror. Samson says that he has let his practice go down the chute, and that he is accomplishing nothing here. Samson tells Bruce that is no reflection on him. Suddenly Hulk’s reflection appears as the Maestro. Hulk’s face grimaces. Samson says that there are people that genuinely want his help, and that he can’t ignore them while Bruce spends his time in denial. Samson tells Bruce goodbye and good luck. Hulk smashes the mirror and the wall it was on. Samson turns in shock as Hulk drops to his knees. He puts his face in his hand and begs Samson not to leave him.

Betty returns to Rick and Marlo’s place. She says that she has done all the dirty work. She says that after six hours of begging back deposits and canceling reservations. She says that the wedding dress people almost clawed her face off. She says that this may have been the worst day of her life. Betty realizes that she doesn’t seem to be talking to anyone. She calls out to Marlo. Marlo peeks out from behind the door. She says that there is a problem with the wedding. Betty says that there can’t be anymore problems with the wedding because she insisted that it was cancelled. Betty looks on stunned as she sees Rick in Marlo’s bed. Rick says that he got a visit from someone that made him realize how important a good future is, and that he was being a jerk. Rick says that he apologized. Marlo says that the wedding is back on and asks if Betty is happy for them. Betty doesn’t answer. Marlo asks if she isn’t happy for them. Betty says that she spent the entire day groveling and she asks if she is happy. Betty charges toward the door, but Marlo slams it shut. Marlo turns to Rick and says that Betty is ecstatic.

Captain America is shooting pool with the Fantastic Four. He says that he wants to make his position clear, and that he just got down reading the riot act to the Avengers. He says that they were ready to boycott Rick’s wedding because of the Hulk and out of consideration for him. Cap says that he told them that was nonsense, and that after all the times Rick was there for them that they should be there for him. Torch says that they just found out about it and that the invitation was buried in junk mail. He says that Sue could use some cheering up. As Cap lines up a shot, Sue bets him that he doesn’t make it. Cap says that he never bets… but then adds “…unless it’s a sure thing, you’re on.” Cap takes the shot, but as the ball approaches the pocket it is unexpectedly stopped for no seeming reason. Cap says that the ball seems to have bounced off as if a force field were blocking the pocket. Sue says that she is shocked… shocked… that he would imply such a thing. Cap says that there are bachelor and bachelorette parties planned for tomorrow. Torch says that he is there. Sue says that she will think about it.

Hulk finishes telling Samson about the Maestro. He says that he was everything that Samson warned him about. He says that after returning from the savagery of the Troyjan War and then met the Maestro. Hulk says that Maestro said that he was going to lose everything; Hulk says that he can’t and that way lies madness… and the Maestro. Samson asks if anything else traumatic happened in the future. Bruce says that there was a slave girl there and that she did something to him while he was helpless. Samson asks what, but then asks how she made him feel. Bruce says that she made him feel more helpless. Bruce gets up and says that he can’t do this now. Samson says that is okay. He says that they have been talking for two hours and that this is a good start. As Bruce walks out he tells Samson that one of the reasons that he always bottled up his anger and rage was because he saw what his father was like angry. Bruce says that doesn’t want to be like that, and that is part of what caused his personality to fragment. Bruce says that he is whole for the first time in decades, but that when he looked into the Maestro’s face that he saw his father’s eyes looking back. Bruce leaves and Samson props up his knocked in door.

At the airport, Bruce tells Rick to calm down. Rick says that he is calm. He says that it is just Marlo’s mom and asks what the worst she could do is. Bruce says, “Try and stab you with a kitchen knife?” Rick scowls at Hulk. Bruce apologizes for the bad joke. Betty tells Rick to remember that to get an idea of what the daughter will be like in 20 years to look at the mother. Marlo spots her mother. Rick thinks that Marlo’s mother is a sleek, thin, stylish woman. Rick’s face lights up. Marlo’s much smaller more realistically shaped older woman pokes her head out from behind that woman and calls out to “Marlo-Bunny!” Betty tells Rick that isn’t a hard and fast rule. Marlo lifts her mother off the ground with a hug. Her mother shouts, “Bunny!” again. Marlo’s mom sees Rick and says that he is too handsome to be anyone but Rick. Rick holds his hand out, but Marlo’s mom hugs him. Betty asks “Bunny” what is with the name. Marlo says that she used to hop around the living room, and that the name stuck. She sees Betty and Bruce and says that Marlo wasn’t exaggeration about the green skin. She says that is amazing. Bruce says that Spider-Man is amazing and that he is incredible. Marlo’s mother says that in Las Vegas Marlo used to be involved with some grotesque man with gray skin. She thanks god that Marlo broke that off. Bruce starts to whistle non-chalantly and Marlo tells Rick not to say a word. Marlo’s mom spots her suitcases. Hulk says that he will get them. He lifts them up, strains, and drops them to the ground. Everyone stares in shock, but Bruce says that he was just kidding. Betty rolls her eyes and says to give her strength.

At the Mount, Hector tells Ulysses to burn the shirt he is wearing. Ulysses says that Del thinks it looks great on him. Ulysses asks Hector where he is going. Hector says that he is going to Rick’s bachelor party just like Ulysses. Ulysses asks why he is bothering. He says that it is just going to be stag films and raunchy women. He says that it won’t do anything for him. Hector asks Ulysses if it doesn’t drive him nuts that he is gay. Ulysses says that he isn’t dragging him into this discussion again. Ulysses says that he was just busting his chops. He says that it is Hector’s choice and none of his concern. Hector says that it isn’t his choice and that it is what he is. Ulysses says that what he is, is sick of this conversation. Ulysses says that if Hector wants to come along that it will be good to have him.

At Betty and Marlo’s, Marlo’s mother asks Atalanta if she was kidnapped by aliens too. Atalanta says, “Too?” Marlo’s mother says that she reads about the kidnappings in the Midnight Sun. Atalanta says that it was more involved than that and that it has screwed up her whole life. Marlo’s mother says that these things happen. Marlo says that this is great and that it is exactly what she was hoping for when Betty said “party”. There is a knock at the door. Marlo goes to answer it, but no one is there. Suddenly, Marlo is lifted into the air. Sue makes them visible again as She-Hulk stuffs Marlo into a sack. Lyja stands next to Sue. Jen says that they’ve got the bus running outside. Marlo’s mother says that aliens are after her daughter. Betty tells Elsa that it is okay and that they are with them. Jen thanks Sue for the invisible assist. Sue asks Jen if she is sure that what she has arranged is in good taste. Jen says to trust her. 

Bruce tells Captain America to trust him. Cap says that he would like to trust someone that just wrapped him in a lamppost, but Bruce can see his problem. Cap says that Bruce swore that the punch was non-alcoholic. Bruce says that it is. Rick is standing on Surfer’s board with a silver bowl on his head. Surfer says that is enough. Rick tells Cap that he is beautiful for renting the hall. Bruce thinks to himself that Rick is tanked and wonders where Rick’s “Teen Brigade” pals are. The Teen Brigade realizes they are on to them and stash the booze they spiked the punch with. Hercules asks the “lads” if they are spicing up the brew. They say that they didn’t, but Herc grabs the entire bowl and chugs it down. He says that it is barely stronger than milk. Hulk tells Cap that while he has him there that he wanted to apologize for giving him grief last time. Cap says that he was fighting on Marlo’s behalf and that she did make a full recovery. He says that in a way Hulk was right and he was wrong. Bruce says what if they were both wrong and that it turned out right. Cap shakes Bruce’s hand and says “deal”. The drunken Rick says that they are “cuticle”. Bruce says that he means beautiful. Suddenly a beautiful woman in a cape and armed with a hairdryer slams the door. She says that she is the “Ecdysiast” and that she has come for Rick Jones. Iron Man thinks to himself, “A hairdryer?” Cap tells the others that they had better do what she says. Cap points out Rick. Jim Wilson shouts at Cap, but Cap says that they have no choice. The Ecdysiast tells Rick that before he dies he should know something. She kisses Rick and says that Nick Fury says hi. She takes the cape off and throws it over Rick’s face. Thing has lemon wedges stuck in his helmet and asks what everyone is howling about. As the woman starts stripping, Bruce asks Cap if he was in on this. Cap says that he thought an “ecdysiast” was a magician. Bruce says that it is a stripper. Cap says that he figured that out. Bruce tells Cap to just not tell Betty and that he can imagine what she would say about women as sex objects.

Betty shouts for the male stripper to take it off. Elsa tells the stripper that Marlo wants to dance with him. Betty says that she is getting married tomorrow. The stripper pulls Marlo up on stage and Marlo says that she is going to kill them. Mona asks Betty when she met Marlo. Betty says that it was right after she left the convent. Mona asks if she was a nun. Betty says that she was in training. Mona wonders what disqualified her as Betty whistles at the stripper. Sue tells Jen that this is not her idea of “good taste” or even a good time. Sue says that socializing so soon after her loss is hard enough. Wanda says that Sue is right and asks what is paparazzi snapped a picture of one of them. Elsa tells them to lighten up and that they have “zero sense of humor”. A shot goes off. The women turn to see a threesome of male robbers. Suzy Berengetti asks Crystal to tell her that this is part of the show. Crystal says that she is afraid not. One of the robbers says that he guesses that he will have to show them he means business. He fires his gun at Marlo, but Sue stops the bullet in mid-air. The robbers ask who they are. Crystal says that they picked the wrong night. Wanda starts to say who they are, but Jen interrupts and says that they are the “Roseanne Arnold Fan Club”. Sue says that isn’t funny. Jen says that Marlo’s mother is right and that they have no sense of humor.

Boggs is loading the projector. He says that this isn’t a stag film. He says that it is artistic… lots of naked women… but artistic. Rick says whatever. Boggs says that the projector doesn’t want to work. Vision phases his fingers into it and starts it. Vision looks at Cap and says that he seems embarrassed. Cap keeps his hand over his eyes and says that he just has something in his eye. Vision says that he doesn’t see the point in a film whose main merit is unclad females. Ulysses asks Vision if he has met Hector. Hector says that he is warning Ulysses. Bruce says to be quiet or they will miss the plot. Quicksilver asks if there is a plot. Boggs says that there is and that his client wrote and directed it. Thing sees a vivacious red head from behind and says that is a healthy girl. Quicksilver sees no tan lines and says that she is an impressive woman. Rick says that he must really be in love and that she looks just like Marlo. Rick turns to Bruce, but Bruce’s jaw is dropped wide open in shock. Rick looks back at the screen and realizes that it is Marlo. Vision asks if that is Rick’s fiancée and says that he must be very proud.

Back at Fantastic Four’s headquarters, Impossible Man sees the invitation to Rick’s wedding and says that they forgot to invite him. He says that he bets there are tons of neglected folks and that he will take care of that immediately.

No Excuses rating: 9 out of 10

Review and pictures by The Leader

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