Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #422

Title: “Flight”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Gary Frank

Inker: Cam Smith

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

“Thor” launches himself at Hulk. Banner tells “Redbeard” that he has known Thor, been kicked around by Thor, and that he is no Thor. Thor tells Hulk to believe that if it gives him comfort in his final moments. Agamemnon runs off. Thor pulls back his hammer to hit Hulk. Bruce says, “Look, I’m trying to be patient here. My therapist recommends it.” He tells Redbeard to go ahead and break his hammer on him and then they will talk… or he will make him eat his helmet. He says that he hasn’t decided yet.

Elsewhere in Asgard, Betty is with Hector and Cassie. Hector asks her if she is all right. Betty says that she thinks so and asks what that was. Cassie says that it was some kind of vortex that yanked them through the wall at Fenway. Hector walks up into the air in order to get a sense of their surroundings. Betty asks if he sees Bruce and says that she is worried about him. Hector says that he doesn’t see him yet, but tells her not to worry and asks what could hurt him. Suddenly Hulk comes smashing through one of the nearby mountains, upsets Hector’s path, and falls to the ground. Cassie asks Hector if he ever tires of being right, but Hector just tells her to shut up. “Thor” leaps at Hulk and asks the monster if he has learned his lesson in humility yet. Thor pulls his hammer back to hit Hulk again. Hulk admits that he got over confident, but that he doesn’t repeat his mistakes. Hulk palms Thor’s hammer as it comes down on him and rams it back into Thor’s stomach. Hulk hits Red and says that there is one thing that he forgot. He says that the proof that he is not the real Thor is that if he were real that there is no way he could possibly hold his hammer as he is doing right now. Suddenly the hammer drops to the ground and lands on Hulk’s fingers. Bruce says that he thinks that he broke his fingers.

In the Frost Giants’ lands, Siingard sits on this throne. He is told that Tuurgid the Unbeatable has captured a young intruder discovered in their land. Siingard tells him to bring him there. Tuurgid holds Agamemnon up at arm’s length and says that the maggot thought to escape notice. Agamemnon says that he was searching for the door when this oaf grabbed him. Tuurgid sees Siingard’s concern and says not to tell him that he isn’t moved by its nonsense. Siingard gets up and draws his sword. Tuurgid thinks that Siingard is going to display his quick verdict on Agamemnon, but Siingard lops off Tuurgid’s head. He bows before Agamemnon and asks for his pardon. He explains that Tuurgid was a fool with designs on his crown. He says that Agamemnon knows the type. He asks Vali how he can serve him. Aggy tells him that there is no need for formalities, but that he is afraid that he has not served him as well as Siingard would serve him. He says that creatures of considerable power are after him and that his castle will be under siege shortly.

Thor hits Hulk and says, “All right, that tore it! Drop the hammer!” Suddenly, “Thor” is hit from behind with a blast. Cassie tells Bruce to take five and that she will finish the loser. Thor asks if she dares to call him a loser. His hammer returns to his hand. Cassie asks if he prefers “victory-challenged”. Thor says, “Mortal tramp! Thou art not screwing with kids here!” He blasts Cassie with a bolt from his hammer. He leaps at Cassie and says, “I have few ‘virtues’ and patience is not among them! Thou art in deep, mortal!” Hulk grabs Thor’s hammer as Thor holds it as well. He tells him to scare them some more and to get his speech pattern straight while he is at it. Thor says, “Oh shut up, lettuce lips!” He says that he laughs at Hulk’s puny offenses. Betty puts a gun up to Thor’s ear and says that he won’t laugh a bullet down his ear canal and into his brain. Fandral puts his sword to Betty’s throat. He says that she is brave and that he wouldn’t hurt her if given other options. Hector puts his mace chain around Fandral’s neck. Hogun puts his cudgel against Fandral’s head. Cassie sits on a rock watching it all and wonders aloud if this doesn’t seem like how the US got involved in Vietnam.  

Agamemnon sits explaining baseball to Siingard. Siingard figures he must be joking, but Agamemnon says that it is very popular and that where once there was a boulder at the dimensional vortex that now there is a baseball stadium. Siingard says that they use clubs to smash opponents’ heads and that mortals use clubs to smash opponents’ spheroids. He says that it is madness. He says that either way that Vali’s enemies are his enemies and that they can not triumph. Agamemnon says that one never knows. He says that certain things are written and that they just play them out. Siingard says that certain things can be rewritten and that no legend speaks of the Hoarfen. Agamemnon asks, “Who?” Siingard says that it is his nephew that protects this castle. He says that if Ragnarok ever occurs that if may go down differently than prescribed. He says that the Frost Giants may be left standing and not Surtur. Aggy asks if Hoarfen has “Fen” as in Fenris the wolf. Siingard says that he could say that.

A wolf leaps at Jason. Jason shoots the wolf dead and then bites into its carcass.

After talking things out, Hulk and the others sit having supper with “Thor” and the other Asgardians and telling tales of heroic deeds. Thor says, “… and once I’d snagged the Midgard Serpent with my fishing line, all that was required to pull it ashore was one powerful jerk!” Betty whispers to Cassie not to say it. Hulk turns to Fandral and says that if they are really friends of Thor’s, as they claim, then he wants to know what the deal is with the imposter. Fandral says that he sees no imposter, but then his face kind of drops. Hulk turns to Hogun. He asks if he is going to level with him or support the company line. Hogun says that Hulk’s words are obscure, but that the meaning is clear. He says that he doesn’t like either. Hulk says that he doesn’t have to like his words, just answer them. Hogun doesn’t say anything. Cassie asks Hector if he is thinking about Ulysses. Hector says that he thought that he hated him, but then he takes a shot meant for him and that now he doesn’t know what to think. A large rumble shakes the ground. Hulk gets up and asks if it is an earthquake or an attack. Fandral says that it is neither and says that he knows that quake. Volstagg arrives at the gathering. He says that if they weren’t so headstrong in their gallivanting that he could have kept pace. Fandral says that they thought he went home and that there isn’t enough food for him there. Hector says that he doesn’t think there is anywhere. Cassie suggests “Deal a Meal”. Volstagg says that he will deal one and pours out a “light snack” from the sack on his back. “Thor” says that they will help Hulk find his whelp in the morning, but that if his story doesn’t match Hulk’s… Banner tells “Thor” not to threaten him. Thor says that it is not a threat, but a caution. Volstagg asks if the whelp had brown hair and odd footwear. Bruce says that he does. Volstagg says that he spotted him heading toward the castle of Siingard. Fandral raises his sword into the air and says, “Siingard! He and his Frost Giants hordes could smash us to a bloody pulp! An adventure for true warriors! Rejoice, my friends! Rejoice!” Betty and Cassie twirl their fingers mockingly.

In the morning at Siingard’s castle, Hulk shouts up to the sentry that they want Agamemnon. Siingard asks Vali if he hears that the mites think they have business with them. Agamemnon tells Banner to leave now. Bruce says that he knows he can’t do that. Aggy says that he knows that he had better. Thor says that he has had enough. Siingard sees “Thor” and says that the rumors are true. He says that they will test the might of this Thor and his friends. Siingard blows a giant horn and the ground rumbles. Hulk says to tell him that was Volstagg again. Siingard calls out to Hoarfen to kill all below, but to slay the green one first. He says that his green skin reminds him of spring and that it vexes him. Hector snags Agamemnon from behind and floats into the air with him. A giant booming disrupts Hector and causes him to drop Agamemnon. Banner catches him. He starts to make a crack, but then he sees Hoarfen. Agamemnon tells him to get them out of there. Fandral says that the rumors are true. He says that Siingard’s sister mated with the Fenris wolf and produced the monster Hoarfen. Cassie says that they will procreate with anything not nailed down. Siingard calls out to Hoarfen to wait, but Hoarfen shouts, “No! No more waiting!” Banner asks if they are in trouble and Agamemnon says, “Ohhhh, yes.” Volstagg shields Betty’s eyes and Hoarfen devours Hulk and Agamemnon. Green blood surrounds Hoarfen’s mouth.

No Excuses rating: 8 out of 10

Review and pictures by The Leader

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