Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #441

Title: “Hulk Fiction”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Angel Medina

Inker: Robin Riggs

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

Betty lights a candle in her window. She sits down at her computer and types, “Bruce and I…” She stops and looks down.

Outside, the paparazzi are camped out trying to get a picture of Betty. She-Hulk walks into the middle of them. She tells them that it has been weeks now and to let the woman have her peace already. Some of the paparazzi take She-Hulk’s picture. She grabs their cameras and says that was a mistake. She crumbles the cameras in rubble in her hands. One of the men says that she wrecked his equipment. He says that it is essential to his livelihood. She-Hulk grabs the guy and asks how he would like her to break even more essential equipment. She drops the guy and says that they make her sick. She-Hulk walks to the door.

At Army headquarters, Talbot raises his glass of champagne and says that he is sorry for the delay in the celebration. He says to look at it that the wine got to age another few weeks. He says that a deadly creature is finally gone and tells them “well done”. One of the men says that he means no offense, but that the Hulk has survived some pretty devastating shots. Talbot says that he was never calling those shots. Gyrich walks into the room and Talbot tells him to join them. Gyrich says “later” to that and asks the other men to excuse them. Talbot asks what is the matter and says that even Gyrich’s crewcut looks tense. Gyrich says that they have to talk about this. He takes out a picture of Talbot shooting Betty in the leg.

She-Hulk hands Betty her signed contract and her book advance. She says that this is the fastest publishing deal she has ever shepherded. She says that with Rick’s book in its tenth printing that publishers are starved for other super-related books. Betty stares ahead blankly. Jen looks at the screen and sees “Bruce and I”. She says that it isn’t “Call me Ishmael”. Betty asks Jen what if she is wrong. She says that when they bombed Bruce that she laughed. She thought to herself that she wasn’t falling for this again. She says that the publishers came clamoring, and that she needs money to live like anyone else. She says that it isn’t like she is profiting of Bruce’s death because he isn’t dead. She says that she has been lighting candles for him every night, but asks what if he isn’t coming home. Jen puts her hand on Betty’s shoulder. She says that they are on the same wavelength. She says that in addition to being the strongest mortal on Earth that Bruce is also the smartest. She says that they both know that he wasn’t a terrorist, and that her book will tell people that. She says that his death seemed a little orchestrated. Betty says, “Orchestrated. Orchestrated, like… by a maestro.” Betty laughs. She apologizes and says that she has been having a hard time lately. Jen hugs Betty.

At Arlington Cemetary, the soldiers sift through the rubble from the explosion. The commander asks what they think about knocking off early. He says that it looks like rain and that there is only so many body parts that he can sort through in a day. One of the soldiers holds a piece of a headstone. He says that this one must have been in the center of the blast. He says that there is nothing left of the body… as if it had never been there. He hands the chunk of headstone over. The commander looks and sees the name “Fury” on the headstone.

Betty types that she and Bruce met when they were both young and unknowledgeable. She says that there was so much that she wanted to say, but that she was tentative and flighty. She says that they were both children in a way. She writes that her father disapproved of her relationship with Bruce. Betty stops and looks at what she has written. She says that she has read stereo instructions with more “oomph”. Betty reaches for the phone.

Rick and Betty are checking out the set of their new talk show. Rick’s cell phone rings. Rick says, “This is Kirk. Go ahead, Enterprise.” Betty says, “Hi, this is Uhuru. So how’s the show going?” Rick says that they debut next month and that he can’t believe how quick everything is moving. He says that he figures she is calling cause Bruce is back or because she is having trouble with her book. Betty says that she feels so naked and that she doesn’t know if she is ready to write about her and Bruce that way. Rick says to make it up then. Betty says that is dishonest. Rick says to romanticize it. He says to write it like it was about two other people, just to get started. He says that if it winds up completely unreal that the publishers can market it as fiction. He says that everyone will know she wrote it and will have fun trying to figure out what is real and what is made up. Rick says that they will talk more later and to stay strong.

Betty writes that it was difficult being the daughter of the most powerful man in the Army. She says that she wanted so much from a man, and despaired of ever finding one manly enough. Then she saw him. “Strong and powerful, with a pipe clenched tightly between gleaming white teeth… I wanted those teeth wrapped around me. My father forbade us, however… but when you forbid someone’s passion… it only becomes forbidden passion.” Betty hits the delete key and says that she has to switch the decaf.

Omnibus sits within a cell. The door opens and Omnibus sees Hotshot and some of the stronger citizens of Freehold. Omnibus says that it had been so long that he thought he was going to be left there to rot. Hotshot tells the men to bring him out. The men grab Omnibus. Omnibus tells them to be careful and that he bruises easily. They bring Omnibus out to a court room setting. Omnibus says that he guesses that they need something to occupy themselves since the OJ trial ended. Hotshot sits as judge. He tells Omnibus that he is charged with masterminding a phantom terrorist organization called the Alliance. He asks how Omnibus pleads. Omnibus says, “Plead? What are you trying to do here? Intimidate me? Frighten me? Should I throw myself down and repent? You people don’t understand the meaning of guilt or innocence. Don’t you know what’s happening up there? They’d destroy us if they had the chance! They’ll destroy themselves sooner or later. If my planned made it sooner, so what? Look at the dinosaurs! Look at every creature on this world that swims or crawls or flies. Sooner or later: extinction. You think humanity will be any different? Only I have the vision to see the truth! You think to hold me to standards of right or wrong, innocence or guilt? We don’t obey morality here… we define it.” Hotshot turns to the jury and asks what they say. The jury unanimously finds Omnibus guilty. Omnibus says, “An unpretentious kangaroo court. How nice. Hah! So what’re you going to do now? Execute me?” Hotshot says, “That’s exactly right, yes.”

Talbot says that they were only stun pellets. Gyrich says that he shot an unarmed woman and then sent his goons into the local TV station to confiscate the tapes. Talbot asks, in the interest of military security, where Gyrich got that picture from. Gyrich says that an amateur video was sold to Hard Copy. He says that it will be nationwide in hours. Talbot asks “so what?” and says that his actions got them the Hulk. He says that he had full presidential authorization to apprehend the Hulk by any means necessary. Talbot asks if the President is backing him. Gyrich says that isn’t the point. Talbot says that it is. He says that he caught the Hulk, did no long term damage to Betty Banner, and did it with the President’s sanction. He says that hasn’t changed because some tabloid news magazine has pictures. Gyrich says that he shot a defenseless woman… twice. He asks Talbot if he thinks the President is going to support that. He says that they gave him the rope and that Talbot hung himself with it. Talbot says that this will pass. Gyrich says that it won’t. He says that the American public will see some nut in a Army uniform pumping shells into the shapely legs of an unarmed woman. He says that they won’t care about the context or that she is up and around now. He tells Matt to face that he is going down the toilet on this one and that the President isn’t coming along for the ride. Talbot says that they will see about that as Gyrich leaves.

Betty starts typing a “Pulp Fiction” scenario where she and Bruce are competing in a dance competition, but she deletes it. She writes a scene out of a romance novel with she and Bruce starring, but deletes that as well. Betty grabs her head in frustration. She says that she would ask for a ghost writer, but that they would probably send her Ghost Rider. She says that she could kill Jen for getting her into this.

Jen, lying in the sun, returns a phone call from Doc Samson. She asks “Lenny” if Bruce has turned up at the original bomb site yet. She says that is usually where he turns up after a major trauma. Samson says that he hasn’t and that he got tired of waiting. He tells Jen not to call him Lenny. He says that he is in a Holiday Inn in Luma, New Mexico. Samson says that if Bruce is alive that he has covered his tracks well. He says that he has heard rumors of weird things in this town and thought Hulk might be skulking around. Suddenly a creature forms out of shadow and attacks Samson. More start to come out of the walls. Samson shouts for them to get off him. She-Hulk asks if she called at a bad time. She says that if he is having company, particularly female company, that she can call back. As the shadow creatures overwhelm Samson he shouts out to Jen that the shadows are trying to kill him. Samson disappears and She-Hulk is disconnected. Jen says that one minute she is on the phone and the next she is in an episode of Babylon 5. She hangs the phone up and then makes a call to book a flight to New Mexico.

 Betty types that this isn’t an easy story for her to tell. She says that she realizes now that trying to tell it from the beginning is the wrong place to start. She says that the beginning doesn’t mean anything. She says that she was trying to layer current perception over the early days. She says that instead she finds herself thinking of something more significant… from the previous time that Bruce had been taken from her. She writes that she had retreated completely and become a novice in a convent in Connecticut. She writes that she thought she had been happy there… she wanted to be happy there, but that she was still troubled. She writes that she knows God hears all prayers, but that one day she felt that he was listening particularly closely to her. She prayed and says that she knows there must be some reason that He has taken Bruce from her, but that she needs Him to help her understand. She needs Him to ease the hurt and confusion. She prays that she feels him like a woman who has lost an arm feels her fingers. She asks if it is a sign, and if it is not that it is just a cruel reminder of her agony. She asks the Lord to take it from her or to give Bruce back to her. She prays that if Bruce did something to deserve an awful fate to forgive him and to forgive her for whatever she did to deserve this. Betty writes that she is no longer in the novitiate and that Bruce’s “transgressions”, by design or act of madness, has affected the entire world. Betty says that she is writing to help the world understand. She says that maybe they will all earn forgiveness in that way and that maybe a merciful God will return Bruce safely home to her.

No Excuses rating: 5.5 out of 10

Review and picture by The Leader

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