Incredible Hulk vol. 2 #442

Title: “Private Sessions”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Angel Medina

Inker: Robin Riggs

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

Samson is tied to a chair. His captor asks if he is awake yet. He says that if he is faking unconsciousness that he could break a few of his bones to get a reaction. He says that it wouldn’t be difficult. Samson stirs. A man standing in the shadows asks Samson to explain why he has been chasing him. Samson asks if that is Bruce. Samson snaps the ropes that hold him and identifies himself. He starts to ask Bruce a question, but the mysterious man says, “Ah, ah. Simon didn’t say.” The ropes wrap back around Samson and hold him to the chair. The man tells Samson not to bother struggling and that the ropes will hold him this time. He says that if he wants to that he can have the ropes choke the life from him. The man demonstrates until Samson screams in agony. The pain stops and the man tells Samson that he could kill him with a thought. He tells Samson to answer his questions or he will have some very unpleasant thoughts.

She-Hulk gets out of her car in front of Samson’s ruined hotel room. Jerry, the cop, is telling Rupert to go over one more time how this happened. Rupert says that he has told him a bazillion times that he heard a ruckus and that the next thing he knows his hotel looks like its been bombed. Jerry asks if any of the rooms were occupied. Rupert says that there was only a big guy with green hair, but that now he is gone. She-Hulk shows him a picture of Samson and asks if this was him. Rupert says that was him. Jerry asks if she isn’t the She-Hulk. Jen says, “People ask that a lot. I don’t see the resemblance.” Jerry says to Rupert that she sure looks like She-Hulk. Jen says that of course she is the She-Hulk and asks if they don’t have a sense of humor. Jerry says that their budget has been cut. Jen asks if it is okay if she looks around. Jerry tells her to go ahead.

At the set of Keeping Up With the Joneses, Rick is in a conference with his producer Ms. Dietz. Suzie Dietz says that she isn’t sure about some of the guests he has lined up. Rick says that he is going for shows with interesting themes. Suze asks about the Grim Reaper and Jack Kevorkian. Rick says that they are in the same line of work. She asks about Wolverine and Harlan Ellison. Rick says that is short and scrappy night. Suzie asks about Foolkiller and Newt Gingrich. Rick says that they will let nature take its course. Suzie says that she wants to be supportive, but asks Rick if he doesn’t think they are asking for trouble. Rick says that they are going to be cutting edge and that they have to give everyone in their corner of the universe a reason to tune in. Marlo shows Rick what she plans on wearing for the first show. She asks what he thinks. Rick, mouth agape, says that he thinks people will have a reason to tune in.

Hundreds of miles south of the arctic circle, the Freehold ship comes close to the ground and tells Omnibus that he is free to go. Omnibus says that this has gone far enough. He asks if they are seriously going to abandon him with only a parka for protection. Hotshot says that they aren’t. The people of Freehold strip Omnibus bare. Hotshot hands Omnibus a rag and tells him to cover himself with this. Omnibus tells Hotshot and Jailbait to listen to him. He says that it wasn’t him and that the Leader was behind the terrorism. Jailbait says that the Leader is dead. Omnibus says that Leader’s soul and intellect leapt into him. He says that he can only perceive him in reflections. Omnibus reels and says that he can feel Leader coming out. Omnibus stands up, with a serious look on his face, and says that this has gone long enough. He says that he has set aside the charade since Omnibus has failed miserably at his task. He says that he has overestimated him, but that he, their Leader, has returned. He says that he demands their full obedience and loyalty. Hotshot pushes Omnibus out of the ship. Omnibus shouts for them to come back. Hotshot asks Jailbait if she believes his pathetic ploy. Jailbait says, “No, Lou. Just… just like I don’t believe… that we’re leaving a man to die.” As they pull away, Omnibus shouts for them to come back.

Matt Talbot sits there waiting to face his accusers in the matter of Betty Banner’s shooting. He knows that what he did was right, and he is certain that he will be vindicated. Talbot is told that they are ready for him. Talbot gets up and walks in ready for them as well.

The man tells Samson that he claims he is a shrink looking for “Bruce” and that he had no idea he was there. The man says that if Samson is so smart to tell him why he can do anything, but that he still feels like he needs her. Samson says that it might help if he knew who “her” was. The man says that they can keep it general. He asks why someone omnipotent would need anyone. Samson says to be omnipotent is to leave humanity behind. He says that is a frightening thing. Samson says that this female serves as a reference point to a world he doesn’t want to abandon. The man says that she is like an anchor dragging him down. Samson says that she is more like a life preserver keeping him afloat. Samson says that if he wants him help that he is going to have to trust him, and that keeping him hogtied isn’t going to accomplish that. The man says, “Trust? You must be joking.” The man sends Samson smashing through the roof.

She-Hulk sifts through the wreckage. She says that she is never going to find a clue as to Samson’s whereabouts. Suddenly she looks up and sees Samson flying into the air and back down tied to a chair. She charges to her car and drives toward where she saw Samson.

Samson lands. The man says that he doesn’t want trust… he wants fear. Samson says that his hourly rates are horrific.

Omnibus staggers around freezing. He says that they will be back. He says that they wouldn’t dare do this to him. He says that his new plan will be his greatest yet. He says that he will make them all pay. Omnibus turns around and comes face to face with a polar bear.

The man says that the world is spinning out of control. He says that he watches the news and asks if the Washington Monument or the Great Wall of China can crumble then what chance does something as fragile as a relationship stand. Samson asks what he thinks. The Molecule Man says that he hates when shrinks say that. She-Hulk punches through the wall. Molecule Man sees Jen’s silhouette and thinks she is Volcana. He asks, “Marsha?” and transforms into his real form. Samson tells Jen to run and that it is the Molecule Man. She-Hulk grabs Molecule Man and holds him in the air. She says that she knows what the Molecule Man looks like and that this can’t be him. Molecule Man’s face gets all ferocious. Jen says that she guesses he can be. A pillar of ground beneath Samson, Molecule Man, and Jen shoots miles into the air.

As the bear swings his claw at Omnibus, Omnibus shouts for it to get back and says that he isn’t even supposed to be there.

Talbot stands before the council and says that he has told them that he shouldn’t even be there. Suddenly in mid sentence, and for no reason he can understand, a coldness disappears from his mind. A tear forms in Talbot’s eye. He says, “Oh… my God… what have I done?”

Molecule Man asks which of them he should destroy first. He says that he could kill them in one of a hundred ways or that maybe he will choose one way, bring them back from oblivion and then choose another and another. He rages and rages, but then he looks at Jen and says, “You remind me of her so much. Somebody… somebody tell me what to do.” She-Hulk and Samson look at each other. Samson says that he thinks that Molecule Man is feeling shattered. He says that molecules flying apart is destruction, but that molecules coming together is creation. Molecule Man asks about the Big Bang and says that was both. Samson says that is his point. He says that life is both. He says to think of life as individual molecules and to try and draw them together. Molecule Man asks if he means combining destruction and his unhappiness over Marsha leaving him. Samson says that is kind of simplistic, but Owen says that he understands now. He says that he knows what he must do. He shakes Samson’s hand and thanks him. He asks if he can see him again. He says that he has a slight alternate personality problem, but that he is an old hand at that. He shakes Jen’s hand and says that her very presence has convinced him that the key to his happiness is winning Marsha back… and that he will. He thanks them both and walks off the pillar of ground into the air. Jen says that she guesses he manipulates air molecules to keep  him afloat. Samson says that was the most bizarre consult he has ever had. Jen says that she guesses it worked out. She says that she thinks that they could survive a fall from there, but that whoever they landed on would be dead.

Marsha Rosenberg had been looking forward to a quiet day. She sits on the couch eating an apple and watching the news. The reporter says that all the damage done by the Alliance has been mysteriously repaired. He says that the only monument to show any lingering change is Mount Rushmore. He says that the face of an unidentified woman has joined the past presidents. Marsha sees her face next to George Washington’s and asks Owen what he has done.

She-Hulk asks Lenny if he has a Pinochle deck on him. Samson tells Jen not to call him Lenny.

No Excuses rating: 6 out of 10

Review by The Leader

RETURN TO ISSUES PAGE

RETURN TO NO EXCUSES

RETURN TO LEADER'S LAIR