Incredible Hulk vol. 3 #9Incredible Hulk vol. 3 #9
Title: “Chip on my Shoulder”
Writer: Jerry Ordway/Ron Garney
Penciller: Ron Garney
Inker: Sal Buscema
Colors: Steve Buccellato
Editor: Tom Brevoort
On a rainy day at Pier Four, the new home of the Fantastic Four, the Thing stands looking out the window talking to an unseen person. Thing laments how everytime he faces the Hulk that the Hulk cleans his clock. Thing says that they are sending him up against the Hulk again, and that he doesn’t back down from anybody. Thing says that this time he will find a way to take Hulk down.
In Appalachia, Archer Leopold walks a wheelbarrow full of his moonshine into an abandoned mine. He gets inside to find everything a wreck. Arch sees the Hulk is in there. Hulk tells Arch to get the light on his hat out of Hulk’s eyes. Arch says that at least it isn’t a bear in there. Arch tells Hulk to help him up. Another piece of wood is falling towards Arch’s end. Hulk grabs it out of the air. Arch says that this calls for a drink. Hulk starts to gulp a barrel full of moonshine. Arch tells him to save some for him. Hulk sits silently as Arch explains how he makes his moonshine.
Thing flies in a Fantastic Four hovercraft. He is following a path of destruction to the abandoned mine. Thing’s radioactive detector is going nuts. Reed Richards had given Thing a wrist machine that would teleport the Hulk directly into SHIELD custody. Thing is stewing because Fury told him not to start a fight he couldn’t win. As Thing gets out he says that first he will beat the Hulk and then teleport him to SHIELD. Thing sneaks in and overhears Arch saying “get off” a bunch of times. Arch was just putting an ember out on his clothing, but Thing thinks that Hulk is mauling the guy. Thing leaps and plows into the Hulk. Thing tries to see if Arch is okay, but Arch starts screaming that he is a monster. Hulk tells Thing to leave his friend alone and punches him one. Hulk grabs Arch and carries him outside. Arch tells Hulk to run for it. Hulk says that Rock-Man will just follow him, and that Hulk will fight. Thing plows into Hulk again. They fall right through Thing’s ride. Hulk uproots a tree as Thing prepares to use Reed’s teleporter. Hulk wallops Thing with the tree. Hulk puts Arch on his back and leaps away. Thing chases after.
A subterranean tells Tyrannus that they have
found the Hulk again. Tyrannus takes control of the Hulk’s
body in mid-leap. 
Tyrannus
notices the old man on his back and shakes Arch off his back as
he lands and leaps up again. Tyrannus leaps into Thing. Thing
notices something different about Hulk. He says that it seems
like the Hulk is enjoying this fight too much. When they land
Thing gets up and into a giant dump truck. Thing drives the dump
truck into the Hulk and then into the mountain. Tyrannus says
that he will kill Thing, but suddenly Tyrannus has lost control
again. Hulk punches Thing into a radioactive warning cave.
Tyrannus shouts for them to find the Hulk again. He says that even in a radioactive cave they should be able to isolate the Hulk. One subterranean says that they haven’t had any success in the past. Tyrannus smacks him. Another subterranean tries to calm Tyrannus down. He says that they are still faithful and that his wish will be done. One subterranean mutters that Tyrannus blames them for his mistakes. Tyrannus shouts his outrage at them. The subterranean says that what he meant was that there may be a way to bring the Hulk to them.
Hulk plows into Thing and demands to know where his friend is. Thing asks if Hulk is getting forgetful in his old age. Thing is gonna zap Hulk again, but he realizes that he lost his wrist gizmo. Something grabs the Hulk’s attention. Hulk suddenly turns and starts to walk away. Thing follows Hulk and hears a strange tingle in his own ear. Thing wonders if the noise is what has the Hulk in a trance. Thing is about to leap on Hulk, but Arch blasts Thing with his own teleportation device. Arch calls out to Hulk that he got rid of Thing for him. Arch is no longer an old man. Hulk says that he is trying to trick him. Hulk says that his friend was old. Hulk grabs the teleportation device and crushes it. Arch notices that he isn’t old anymore. Arch realizes that the water he drank must have been from a Fountain of Youth. Hulk says that he is tired and sits down. Hulk changes into Bruce Banner and falls asleep. Tyrannus arrives and orders that Banner be taken to the laboratory. He says to imprison Arch for partaking in his Fountain of Youth.
Back at Pier Four, Thing is talking to his unseen conversation partner. He says that at least he didn’t embarrass himself in the fight. Thing says that he didn’t have any fun since Hulk has all those deaths over his head. Thing says that he had never seen the Hulk like that. He says that it seemed like the Hulk was possessed to him. Thing says that maybe it was his wife dying that pushed him over the edge. Thing thanks his friend for believing in him or they might be out there hunting him and the Hulk. Thing puts on his hat and leaves behind his conversation partner- a bust of Reed Richards. Thing says that is the only way he can talk to Reed without him slipping in the big words.
No Excuses rating: 7 out of 10
The artwork is impeccable with some great action shots. Sal Buscema is fantastic again as well.
The story finally moves along a little. Although the fight is once again bogus. When Byrne came onto the book they announced fights with the Avengers, Wolverine, and Thing. Well we get half the Avengers for two pages, a Skrull posing as Wolverine, and an unfinished fight with the Thing. This story at least has pacing and a plot.
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