Incredible Hulk vol. 3 #31

Title: “Spiral Staircase part 2”

Writer: Sean McKeever

Plotters: Paul Jenkins and Sean McKeever

Penciller: Joe Bennett

Inker: Tom Palmer

Colors: Avalon Studio’s Arsia Rozegar

Editor: Tom Brevoort

The machine continues digging a grave in the graveyard.

Professor stands before the Leader. He asks Sterns if that is really him. Leader answers that the names are meaningless, and that “they” could not even begin to appreciate the journey he is about to take. Professor says that he will take that as a yes and says that he sees Leader has managed to avoid death yet again. He asks if Leader wants to tell him how he did it. Leader says no and says that instead he will show him.

Professor suddenly finds himself in Freehold. He sees the Leader about to activate the machine that would save him from his mortal wounds. He sees the merged Hulk throw General Ross into Leader and the machine explodes. Leader dies in the fire. Professor gets some measure of satisfaction as he watches the Leader grow panicked and fearful, but then suddenly Professor starts to experience the occurrences first hand. Professor notices that he is not alone. He sees a vision that is breathtaking. It makes him feel warm and soothed. He thinks that it is calling his name. Professor moves towards it longing to be a part of it. Suddenly Professor is spiraling away. Inside the mineshaft a scorpion is walking. It seemingly turns into a green goop that sinks into the ground.

Professor is back in the mineshaft with the Leader. He composes himself and says that was different. Leader says that he was not strong enough and simply drifted until this old hideaway pulled him back into focus. Leader says that from the cells of dead animals and plant life that he started to reconstruct his corporeal self. Leader says that he created drones to gather parts and supplies. Leader says that the construct he now wears is now strong enough to “transcend this mortal plane so that I may finally join that most exquisite vision from beyond.

Professor says that while this is all very fascinating that he has a lot on his mind and wants to know why the Leader called him there. He asks what Leader wants. Leader says that he doesn’t want anything… from him. Professor is skeptical and that this is most likely a trap, and that Leader probably wants to kill him before he passes on. Leader somehow blasts the Hulk off his feet. As Hulk gets back to his feet Leader says that if he wanted the Hulk dead that he would have set off Hulk’s synapses like firecrackers or he would have peeled off his flesh and made his corpse into a statue of himself. Leader says that things like revenge and world domination are beneath him now. He says that he has been enlightened.

Professor asks again why he was called there. Leader says that he didn’t call for him, but rather that he called for Bruce Banner. Leader says that he knows that the Professor is not the amalgamation that he once thought he was, and that really there is very little that he does not know. He knows that Betty died, and that Bruce’s body has failed him because of ALS. Professor says that Leader knows that he can’t change back into Banner or he will die. Leader says that he need not concern himself with death because Leader brought Banner there to give him the cure to his disease.

Back in the graveyard, the grave has finally been dug and a casket is being raised out of the ground.

Back in the mineshaft, the Professor holds some odd thing in his hands. Professor asks if has to wear this helmet to stay alive. Leader says that the helmet is only a temporary cure, and that it will rejuvenate Banner’s cells long enough for him to talk to him. Leader says that he will only give the cure to Bruce Banner. Professor puts on the helmet and changes back into Banner. At first Banner struggles on the ground until the helmet rejuvenates him. Banner says that he doesn’t believe it, and asks the Leader why he would do this for him. Leader says that they were both children of the dawn of the gamma age. He says that he was an ordinary man turned into a genius, and that Banner was a genius turned into a monster. He says that is was like the universe was making them like brothers. Bruce says that if Leader can do this that he doesn’t want to be cured, but would rather Leader returned Betty from the dead. Leader says that he isn’t God… at least not yet.

Leader points to a large box and says that the knowledge of how Bruce can cure himself is within it. He says that before Bruce can take it and go that he will need to do a favor for him. Leader says that his organic construct is nearly complete and that soon he will pass into a state of pure consciousness. He asks that Bruce stay and witness his transcendence. Bruce says that Leader isn’t enlightened and emotionless, but that he is scared. Leader says perhaps or perhaps he is clinging to the last vestiges of his humanity. Bruce agrees to stay. Leader has been growing and is now a giant head with a spider like body. Leader says that it is happening and that it is beautiful. Leader says that he is going to try to touch it, but then he starts to shout “NOOOOOO!” Leader explodes and all that is left is some disgusting remains of his spider like body.

Bruce goes to pick up the box, but the cave starts to collapse. Professor bursts out of the collapsed cave. As Hulk leaps away a scorpion perches on a nearby rock.

No Excuses rating: 5 out of 10

Okay first the good- Bennett’s pencil are pretty good and I actually look forward to seeing what he does next issue. I think Palmer’s inks are fantastic. He has always been one of my favorites.

What I didn’t like- everything else! What the heck is going on in this issue? I don’t understand how the Leader survived issue 400 at all. He became a mental being that composed a body out of other cells I get that. I don’t understand the scorpion and the green goop pictures. The Leader is the scorpion I’m guessing, but by what power is any of this happening? I don’t understand what the fantastic vision is. It reminds me of the glowing suitcase from Pulp Fiction that everybody keeps talking about, but we never get to see. Maybe my expectations for the issue was too high since I waited over eight years for a Leader story, but somehow I find the Leader’s role as the Dues Ex Machina a little stupid. Leader shows up out of the blue with a cure for Bruce Banner for no other reason than they were both created at the dawn of the gamma age with no other plans save for going a vision that we know squat about. Another thing that bothers me is why the Professor didn’t go back in after Leader’s cure after the cave collapsed. Seems to me that it might be worth a few hours of looking around.