Incredible Hulk annual #16

Title: “Quality of Mercy”

Writer: Peter David

Penciller: Angela Medina

Inker: Larry Mahlstedt

Colors: Glynis Oliver

Editor: Bobbie Chase

George Prufrock is telling his story to an unseen listener. He says that he has to explain this so that he understands that he is not a bad guy or a villain. He says that he was just caught up in something that was bigger than he was. He says that he was going to be a theater arts major and minor in poetry. He says that he never thought that he would wind up fighting the Hulk. He says that he had never even met or cared about him. He says that his name is Prufrock like the “will I dare to eat a peach?’ guy. He says that the irony is that he will dare to eat anything now. He says that he can feel the life form in him always hungry. He says that it is only a semblance of life and that it is envious of real life and consumes anything it can. He says that he doesn’t know how much longer he can be himself. He says that it is no one’s fault. He says that if just happens. He says that it is certainly not the Hulk’s fault, and that he did the best he could.

In the past, the Hulk sees the army. He says that they are always after him and never cut him a break. He says that instead of them being on his tail that he is going to kick theirs. Hulk lands right in front of the tanks. They start firing. Hulk smashes the first tank and knocks it over. The soldiers shout to drop back. As he smashes and smashes Hulk shouts, “Sure, drop back! Drop dead! Drop off the face of the Earth for all I care!” Hulk says that when they go to remember that this time he trashed their toys, but that next time it is their heads. He says that no one messes with him. A jeep pulls up and a man gets out. Hulk walks toward him and says that he had it all. He says that he had food, clothes, money, and women, and then he lost it all. He says that now he is back where he was being chased by brainless army jerks. The soldier sticks his finger in the Hulk’s face and shouts, “Shut your blasted trap! The only brainless jerk around here is you! We weren’t looking for you! We didn’t even know you were in the area! We were just on night maneuvers! Your unprovoked tantrum wiped out my platoon!” He slams his helmet against the ground and shouts, “Do you have any idea how this is going to look on my record? Do you? You idiot!” The soldier punches the Hulk in the face and hurts his hand. He looks up at Hulk and thinks to himself, “… Our Father who art in Heaven… I just took a poke at the Hulk. I’m dead. And I was in such a good mood.” Hulk leaps away.

George says that the Hulk is like anyone else and that he makes mistakes. He says that Hulk is capable of great anger, savagery, and mercy. He says that bring them to Mercy. George says that he isn’t sure what planet she comes from, and that he thought extra-terrestrials only existed in tabloids.

In the past, Arnold stands drunk thinking about all the mistakes he made and the chances he blew. He says that they say life stinks, but that he stinks and that he doesn’t deserve to live. Suddenly Mercy appears. She says that she heard that. Arnold says that now he has the DT’s. He tells her to go away and that she isn’t there. Mercy says that she is. She asks if he is sad. Arnold says that he is so Mercy pushes him in front of a truck. The truck kills Arnold. Mercy says that she bets that he is feeling much better now. A woman points her finger at Mercy and says that she killed Arnold. She asks how she could kill him in cold blood and shouts for the police. Mercy says that she was just helping him to the next life. She says that he was miserable and wishing for his life to end. She says that she sent him to his next life. The woman says that Arnold was just depressed. She says that everyone gets depressed sometimes. She says that it is a part of life, and that people don’t always act like themselves. She says that sometimes people even wish to die, but that mean they really want to die. Mercy says that this is a little embarrassing considering how many people she has killed. Mercy asks if the woman is saying that people don’t act like themselves, but sometimes they are being someone else. She asks if they are playing at being sad. The woman says that it is something like that. Mercy says that she thought that humans were easy to understand. She says that she will have to look into this more. The woman sees a cop, but Mercy disappears.

In another part of town, the life form had just finished a less than sterling altercation with Daredevil. The police were cleaning up. Daredevil tells Ben Urich that he has never seen him not finish a cigarette. Ben says that they don’t let you smoke in ambulances, and that he wants to ride with Lamar Kwiat. He says that he has to make sacrifices. Daredevil asks what his involvement is. Ben says that he tipped him to this and that he is a scientist at the lab where the slimeball he just beat was created. Ben says that it is a shame that he got caught in the fight. Daredevil says that it is nice that Ben cares about him and that most reporters don’t. Ben says that he isn’t just any reporter. He says that he wants to see the prognosis, see if he lives past his deadline, and if he comes to, to get a comment about him being injured by the life form. Daredevil says that Ben is all heart.

Hulk lands outside a theater with a marquee. Hulk says that they were trying to bring culture to the desert. He thinks that there might be food and knocks the door over with a finger. Hulk walks in and says that at least it is cooler in there. Hulk walks around thinking that it is kind of creepy. He walks out onto the stage and takes a bow.

George’s skin has begun to transform. He asks if he mentioned that he wanted to be actor. He says that now he is acting like he has a life. A man comes in and asks George what he is doing there. He says that he is calling security. George excuses himself. The man screams as George kills and eats him. George comes back gnawing on a bone. George says that he has no idea how badly he feels about this. He says that this isn’t what he wants. He says that it is the life form’s idea. He says that if you knew him that you would understand. George says that he was born into a family that had ideals, a lot of money, and everything a boy could hope for. He says that his sister idolized him and his father adored him. He says that they had the finest private tutors in the world. He says that his father oversaw everything. He was preparing them for lives of influence and power like his. He says that they were trained in all walks of life, but that his father was a bit of a chauvinist. He says that his sister wasn’t allowed to play with the guns. George says that he got straight A’s in college. He says that he wanted to act, but that his father told him to do science. He says that what dad said went, and that when his father told him to go work for a few guys that represented AIM that he went. George says that his girlfriend loved him for his quiet dependability. He says that worked hard at AIM like he did in college. He says that one day his boss called him into his office. He says that his father was there. He says that they told him about a virus being developed by an outfit called Programma. He says that AIM wanted him to break in and steal it. He says that it meant a big promotion, but that more than that it meant his father’s respect. George says that he said it would be a piece of cake. George looks at his green and white glowing skin and says that it was a pretty stale piece of cake. George says that being infected by the virus wasn’t part of the plan. The virus set the life form into motion. George says that he fought Punisher, but not before his father died. He says that he then fought Daredevil. He says that Daredevil thought he killed the life form, but that he was wrong. George says that Daredevil didn’t know that the life form would reform minutes after Daredevil and the ambulances left. He says that he will never guess who he ran into then.

Mercy appears before Lifeform. Mercy says that he is a mess. George begs Mercy to kill him. Mercy says that she isn’t sure that she should, and that he might not really want to die. She says that she had learned humans can be many people and want different things. She says that helping him to die might not be what all of him wants. The Lifeform says that it has changed its mind and not to kill it. Mercy says that she shouldn’t kill him then. George begs her to kill him before ‘it’ takes over. Mercy says that now he is just confusing her. Mercy remembers meeting someone who was definitely more than one person. She says that he could probably sort this out for her and be a good friend to him. She says that maybe she will stop killing and just find ways to cheer humans up. George says that he doesn’t want to cheer up… he wants to die. Mercy says that he says that now, but to wait and see who she introduces him to. She says that she bets the two of them hit it off right away. They vanish.

Hulk is messing around on stage. He has a big hump inside his shirt and walks out saying, “Doctor Frankenstein? My name is… Igor… but it’s pronounced ‘eye-gor’. My great grandfather worked for your great grandfather. Of course the rates have gone up.” Mercy and Lifeform appear. Hulk says that he can’t even screw around a little. Hulk recognizes Mercy. He is going to attack, but then remembers that the army guys weren’t going to attack him. Lifeform shouts, “Food!” and smashes Hulk head against the ground. Hulk says that he is going to kill him, but Mercy says that he doesn’t understand. She says that she didn’t want to them to fight, but thought that they could help one another. Hulk asks how. Mercy says that they could talk to one another. Hulk says that she must be kidding. He says that Banner would go for something like that, but that he isn’t there. Mercy says that she will fix that. She becomes a gooey substance and flies into Hulk’s mouth. Hulk falls over and goo drips out his ear canal.

Ben Urich says that it is clear that Lamar has been holding back. He asks why Lamar looks like leftover bean dip. Lamar says that Ben knows that he was a scientist at Programma where the break in occurred that created the life form, but that he doesn’t know his personal interest. He says that while he was cleaning up at Programma that he found an escaped lab monkey, but not before the monkey found him and bit his hand. The guard killed the monkey, but not before the monkey killed him. Lamar says that they shot the monkey with the virus and became subject 69-A. He says that the monkey made him 69-B. Lamar tells Ben that he was hoping to capture the life form so they could run some tests on it and find a cure. Lamar says that it is too little too late. He asks Ben if he can think of anything. Ben says that he is going to write his story. He says that Lamar will understand if he doesn’t shake hands.

George says that those reporters sure are cards. He excuses himself while he takes off his shirt. He says that it was itching him.

Bruce Banner sits up dazed, but just before the Hulk does the same. They see one another. Both say at the same time, “You! What are you doing here? What am I doing here? What kind of trick is…” Hulk says to knock it off and that this is obviously Mercy’s doing. Banner says that she must have duplicated into a duplicate of Hulk. Hulk says that Banner is the fake. Lifeform says that it will kill them both and that it is so hungry. Hulk tells it to shut up and that this is between him and Banner. He asks why he is talking to it and that it wouldn’t understand. George says that he does. He says that he is struggling with his murderous half. He says that he never meant to hurt anyone. Hulk says that what he intended means nothing. Bruce says Hulk is wrong. He says that intent means everything and that even the law recognizes that. What was going on through your mind is vital in degrees of guilt. Hulk says that you can be as nice as you want, but that results are what counts. Bruce asks what about a battered woman, tormented by her husband, and she kills him. He says that the rules have to vary and that the weak are entitled to protection. Hulk says that Hitler had the best intentions when he was exterminating people, but that the end results were still stiffs. Bruce says that Hulk always does that. He asks why everything has to be an extreme with him. Hulk says that he IS an extreme. Hulk says that Banner is just like him except in the opposite direction. He says that Banner is passionless… no fire in his eyes. Hulk says that he is more alive that Banner ever will be. He says that he hungers for life. Lifeform says that he hungers too and that they can be friends. Hulk says that he will pass. George says that Lifeform is trying to trick him. He asks them to kill him. Banner says that they can’t do that. He says that he can’t wish for death and that he has to keep fighting. George tells Banner to open his eyes and that there is a point when there is no point. Banner says, “Never”. Hulk tells Banner to shut up. Lifeform says shut him up and kill him. Hulk wonders why he shouldn’t. Bruce says that he can’t. Hulk says that he is probably a double anyway and that Mercy made him to confuse him. Hulk says that it is still night, and that he must be a fake. Banner asks what if Mercy overcame the day/night thing and that he is the original and Hulk is the fake. Hulk says that it doesn’t matter what he does then. Banner says that if Hulk kills him that he kills the Hulk. He asks if he can do that knowing Hulk’s hopes and dreams. Hulk lowers his hands. Lifeform shouts that he is food and leaps at Banner. Hulk hits Lifeform off and tells him to back off. Lifeform shouts, “Food” and charges. Hulk says that all he talks about is food. Hulk tells him to eat his fist as he punches him. Lifeform lifts Hulk into the air and shouts about food again. He tosses Hulk aside and goes after Banner. Banner tries to get away and stabs Lifeform with a prop sword. Lifeform grabs Banner’s neck and starts to drool. Hulk lifts Lifeform causing it to drop Banner. Hulk tosses him and says that eating Banner would just make him hungry again in a half hour. Lifeform hits the curtain and falls to the ground. Hulk leaps on Lifeform and then stomps up and down on him. Hulk pulls the curtain back and reveals Lifeform’s squished body. Banner tells Hulk to wait for him. Hulk says that he doesn’t need him tagging along. Lifeform reforms just as Banner passes over. Lifeform tosses Banner up into the lights and electrocutes him. Hulk catches Banner as he falls back down. Hulk tells Banner to say something… even if it is something wimpy. Hulk says that he killed him. Hulk punches Lifeform and asks him who he thinks he is. The theater catches fire from the lights. Hulk hits Lifeform again and shouts that nobody kills Banner but him. Lifeform lands in the fire. He screams as he burns, but he thanks Hulk. Banner calls out to Hulk. Hulk is about to go help him, but the burning catwalk collapses and crushes Banner. Hulk thinks to himself that he may have just watched himself die. Hulk leaps out of the building.

Hulk says that if that was Mercy disguised as Banner that it is no big deal, but if that was Banner and he is the Mercy fake that Hulk is really dead. He says that then he will die twice when Mercy changes back or when the Hulk’s memories fade. He says that all he can do now is wait for sunup to see if he changes into Banner. Mercy appears and says that she won’t make him wait that long. She says that she made herself into a duplicate of Banner so the three of them could talk. Hulk asks if she put him through that to help a walking Jell-O mold. Mercy asks if Hulk doesn’t believe in perseverance in the face of a hopeless cause. Hulk says that if it is pointless then what is the point. Mercy says that if Bruce Banner believed that Hulk wouldn’t be there because he would have killed himself long ago. Mercy disappears and asks Hulk who the wimp is now.

Sun comes up and Hulk changes into Banner.

George says that of course he didn’t die, and that he doesn’t think there is anything on Earth that can completely kill him. He says that Mercy found him and returned him there. George says that he asked her to kill him, but she said that she doesn’t do that anymore. He says that she tried to restore his humanity, but that they can see that didn’t work. He says that he knew it wouldn’t. George says that she wouldn’t have mercy on him, but that he has mercy. He says that he can feel his intelligence and humanity slipping away… his hunger growing. He says that he wanted his last human act to be one of mercy. George tells Lamar that he has told him all this because he wants him to understand that is having mercy on him. Lamar, crawling with infestation, thanks George. George says that he is welcome as he starts to eat Lamar.

No Excuses rating: 6 out of 10

There are things I like about this issue. The Hulk mistakenly attacking the army was funny. I like the return of Mercy. I liked the fake Banner and Hulk conversation… BUT I HATE LIFE FORM! Another mandatory crossover issue that seems more forced than interesting. Sorry, but I don’t care about the Punisher at all, and though I like Daredevil, if I didn’t like him in Hulk, I seriously doubt I’d like Life Form any more in Daredevil. Painful… Angel Medina’s art isn’t as poor as I find it later on when he is on the series. His regular people, that don’t turn into monsters, are still buffoonish, but at least they aren’t gnomes with enormous noses in this issue.

Title: “You Can’t Always Get What You Want"

Writer: Bill Mumy

Penciller: Chris Wozniak

Inker: Tim Dzon

Colors: Mike Rockwitz

She-Hulk swims among the fishes and thinks to herself that this is just what she needed. She says that it is so peaceful that it doesn’t matter what color you are since there is no one around to bother you. Suddenly the fish all clear out. She-Hulk looks around too late to see the shark biting her legs. She-Hulk freaks and expels all her air. She hits the shark and it swims off. Jen is starting to black out from the lack of air, but she makes it to the surface. She-Hulk says that she is beat, and that it is a good thing that shore is only three or four miles away.

She-Hulk walks onto the beach to find Weezi talking to a man. She-Hulk lies down and Weezi says that she is glad they took his vacation and that it is so relaxing. Weezi introduces the man to She-Hulk as Gary Redek. Gary says that it is a pleasure and says that he guesses that he should thank her as well. She-Hulk asks for what. He says that from what he understands that She-Hulk has helped save the world on more than one occasion. Jen says that she guesses she has and says that he is welcome. Weezi says that Gary is an attorney too. Gary thinks to himself that this is going excellently. He says that they are so gullible that it will be like taking candy from a baby. Gary says that he understands that they are staying at the same hotel. He asks them to be his guest for dinner. Jen accepts.

At the Jasmine Bay Resort at 7:35, Weezi says that if she were a few years younger that she would be dressing up as well. She says that Gary is a handsome man.

Two hours later, Gary is telling them that he took some time off of his practice to try and find the legendary pirate treasure of Red Tom Decker. He says that he has a map. Jen takes a look. Gary says that hiring divers, a crew, and equipment is expensive. Weezi asks who needs those things when you have the She-Hulk. Jens says that they will go treasure hunting. Gary says that he doesn’t know what to say. He thinks to himself that they are easily manipulated.

At sunrise they anchor. Weezi says that the sea is so rough and that she thought she saw some sharks. Jen says not to worry and that it takes more than sharks to bother her. Jen says that she thinks that Gary looks older all of a sudden. Gary says that the legend and the map say that in 1710, the British pirate ship of Red Tom Dekker sank there after a bloody battle. He says that Dekker’s ship is supposedly filled with gold, silver, jewelry, and other rarities. Jen says that she will check it out.

Sometime later, Jen thinks to herself that no human diver could make this dive, and that she must be 300 feet deep already. Jen sees the shark she punched the day before. Several hundred feet deeper, Jen finds the ship. She-Hulk spots the treasure chest pinned under tons of broken mast beams, but that she can handle it.

Jen puts the chest up on the boat. Gary tells her to be careful. Gary starts rifling through it. Jen and Weezi are amazed by the treasure, but Gary just says, “It’s not where I put it! After all these centuries! It’s gone! The Fountain of Youth elixir is gone!” Weezi asks Gray what he is talking about, but Gary punches her. He calls her a stupid cow and says that his name is Thomas Dekker. He asks what good is treasure if he isn’t alive to spend it. Jen checks on Weezi, and Weezi says that she is fine. Thomas says that there was a chalice in there that held water from the Fountain of Youth. He says that was the real treasure. He says that he drank from it once in 1710 and that its effects lasted this long. He says that the elixir’s effect has worn off and that he will be dust soon. Jen asks if the talk about being an entertainment lawyer was just to interest her. Thomas says that it was true. He says that entertainment law and piracy have a lot in common. Weezi finds the vase. Thomas charges Weezi and shouts for her to gibe it to him. Weezi and Thomas fall overboard, but Thomas is thrilled because he got his treasure. The sharks arrive. Jen pulls Weezi out of the water. She dives back into the water for “Gary”, but he is gone.

Jen tells the police that she dove in repeatedly, but that she couldn’t save him. The cop thanks her for her statement and that it has been an honor to meet her.

Weezi asks why She-Hulk didn’t tell them about Red Tom Dekker and the treasure. She-Hulk says that they wouldn’t believe it and that she barely believes it. She says that besides that. If they did believe her that some people would be stupid enough to dive down there for the treasure.

On the plane, Weezi asks if the map was lost at sea. Jen says that it was and asks Weezi if she was thinking about the Fountain of Youth elixir. Weezi says that she wasn’t and wonders who would want to live forever.

Thomas Dekker’s skeleton clutches the chalice.

No Excuses rating: 3 out of 10

Poor pacing. She-Hulk spends 3 of 10 pages swimming by herself. The plot is bulldozed ahead and makes no sense. Why did She-Hulk just let Dekker punch Weezi in the face? Garbage. 1 out of 5 for writing. The art is fairly lousy, but it does have its moments.

Title: “Nightmare Never Ends!”

Writer: Alan Grant

Penciller: Dan Reed

Inker: Jeff Albrecht

Colors: Mike Rockwitz

Inside Doc Samson’s psychiatric office, Samson sits on the couch talking to the doctor. He says that he had that dream again. The doctor asks if it was the same dream. Samson says that the details vary every time, but that the emotion, the pain, the fear never changes. The doctor says to tell him about it. Samson says that it is weird. He says that it started just like this with him on the couch.

Bruce Banner has Samson’s job. They are doing word association. Banner says, “Help?” Samson replies, “Power”. Bruce asks, “Power?” Samson answers, “Green.” Bruce asks, “Green?” Samson replies, “En-Envy.” Banner says that the problem with Samson is that he is insane. Banner changes into the Hulk. Hulk says that Samson has “big green man” complex. Hulk hits Samson and tells him that “Doc Hulk” will fix his brain in no time. Hulk drives Samson through the floor and leaps down after him. Samson says that this is madness. He says that Banner isn’t a psychiatrist. Hulk says that the Doc isn’t finished examining him yet. Samson says that he knew in his dream that he was dreaming. Samson shouts that it is nightmare. Hulk asks why he doesn’t wake up then. Hulk hits Samson’s ears.

Samson sits up in bed. Samson thinks to himself that it was so real and so terrifying. He thinks that he has been putting too much strain on himself. He says that the stress is getting to him. He says that he knows the signs, and that if he were his own patient that he would tell himself that he was becoming obsessed. Samson reaches for his coffee, but Hulk’s arm breaks through the mug and hits Samson in the gut and knocks him through the building and across the street into a construction site. Hulk leaps across after Samson. Samson says that this is his dream and that he can control it. He hits Hulk with a steal beam. He pounds and pounds and wraps the Hulk up. He shouts that he beat the incredible Hulk.

Samson tells the doctor that it felt so good to beat the Hulk even if it was in a dream. The doctor says that he thought that Samson’s goal was to help the Hulk. The doctor asks if that was the end of the dream. Samson says that it wasn’t.

Samson looks over at the fallen Hulk only to fins a badly beaten Bruce Banner. Samson frees Bruce and asks what has he done. Samson says that he is sorry and that he never meant to hurt Bruce. Bruce tells Samson that he has wasted his life. He says that he has spent his life chasing him and the Hulk, but that there was never anything he could have done to help him. Bruce dies.

Samson says that it was his dream and that he still couldn’t stop Banner from dying. Samson asks the doctor if this is a warning from his subconscious that he is overdoing things. The doctor says that is definitely the case. He tells Samson that his interest in Banner and the Hulk has become an obsession. He says that he would be wise to heed the warning or the dream will haunt him time and again. Samson says that the dream wasn’t over yet.

Samson stands by Bruce’s grave. He thinks to himself that he feels gutted. He asks what there is for him now that Bruce and Hulk are gone. He says that their lives were so entwined that maybe he should have died with him. Banner corpse rises out of the grave and asks if he means that. Bruce tells Leonard not to resist and that he even admitted that his life has no meaning without him. A group of skeletons start pulling Samson down.

Samson wakes up again. He says that it was just another nightmare. Samson says that he came right there. He says that he has to know what it means or he really will go crazy. Samson says that it is getting so he is afraid to fall asleep because he never knows when he is awake. Samson asks the doc if he can help him. Samson turns to a mirror with his reflection in it. The mirror Samson says, “Repeated dreaming/waking is a recognized medical condition… often brought on by severe stress. Your desire to help Banner is balanced by your envy and… even if you don’t admit it… your fear of the Hulk. The solution is simple: forget them both, or… you will die!” Samson says that it can’t be happening again. Samson in the mirror turns into the Hulk. A group of Hulks pull Samson into the mirror. The Hulks all start to beat on Hulk. Samson freaks.

Samson wakes up again. He says that the whole thing was a nightmare. He says that he dreamt the whole thing right down to analyzing himself. He says that he really is going to have to start taking things easier or things could get out of hand. The Samson in the mirror sneers and moves out of the mirror to grab Samson.

No Excuses rating: 6 out of 10

Review and picture by The Leader

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