Incredible Hulk
annual #20
Incredible Hulk
annual #20
Title: “Story Time”
Writer: Peter David
Pencillers: Salvador Larroca & Stuart Immonen
Inker: Brad Vancata
Colors: Glynis Oliver
Editor: Chris Cooper
Group Editor: Bobbie Chase
A woman sits alone on a park bench on a cold night. The wind causes the woman to feel the cold and it is the first sensation she has felt in months. Four rough looking men walk up to the woman. One says that she shouldn’t be out on a night like this. Another asks if she isn’t worried about the nasty types she reads about in the newspaper. The woman says that she isn’t worried. She says that she was counting on it and laughs. The woman takes a drink from her bottle. One of the men says that this is starting to sound like a Death Wish movie. He says that maybe she is a cop or carrying. The woman says that she isn’t a cop, and that she isn’t carrying anything. She says that she is nobody. One of the men grabs the woman and says that they are pathetic. He says that she is wasted and that she wants it. He says for them to get on doing her already. He pushes her against the ground and cuts her hand. As they close in on the woman, a large man comes up behind them and tells them to let her go. One of the men says that he knew this was a set up. He pulls his gun and fires at the large man. The man stands there unaffected. The thug says that they were armor piercing bullets. The large man says that it is a shame that he wasn’t wearing armor. He grabs the man’s gun and crushes it. The big man asks if she is all right. The woman calls him a big dope. She says that she has been coming here for two weeks and that the only ones that bothered her were cops. She says that some creeps finally show up and he ruins it. The man asks if she wanted them to hurt her and asks why. The woman says that he doesn’t want to hear. The man says that of course he does and that this is a night for stories. The woman turns and sees that the thugs really did shoot him. She asks why he isn’t dead. The man says that perhaps he is. He says that maybe they both are and that they are only dreaming that they are alive. He asks what her story is.
The woman says that Jack wanted to go to France. She says that he wanted to see Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, and the left bank because he had always wanted to be an artist. The man asks if Jack was her husband. She says that the trip was going to decide that. She says that they had just finished grad school. She says that Jack was art history and that she was sociology. She says that she wanted to be a social worker, but that first they wanted some time to themselves. She says that Jack wanted to go to France, but that she wanted to see Scotland. She thought it was romantic and mysterious. She wanted to see Loch Ness, where monsters lived. She says that Jack thought that the idea of monsters was silly, but that he gave in. She says that they found a lovely place run by a man named Mr. Shannon. She says that on their last night that it all fell apart. Some madman and a creature showed up. Everyone was terrified except Jack. She says that he promised to protect her, but that she knew he was as scared as she was. The madman was arguing with Mr. Shannon, but then suddenly the madman turned, grabbed Jack, and killed him. She says that she doesn’t remember what happened next. She says that all she remembers was holding Jack’s dead body and telling him over and over that she was sorry. She says that she only remembers one thing from the trip back. On the flight home the stewardess said that she thought the seat next to her was vacant and that she could stretch out. She broke down crying. She remembered thinking how she dragged Jack someplace and he died uselessly. She says that Jack thought that the monsters were silly, but that the monsters got him. She says that it was all her fault and that she should be punished for it. She says that is her story and that nobody lived happily ever after. The man tells the woman to come with him. The woman asks where to. The man asks if it matters. The woman says that it doesn’t. After they leave a man comes along and takes one of the downed men’s wallets.
The large man and the woman stop at a manhole. She asks why they are stopping here. The man says that they are going to his place. The woman asks if he lives underground. She asks if he is Ron Perlman. The large man asks why the Chairman of the Board of Revlon would live underground. The woman says that it isn’t Perelman, but tells him to forget it.
Down in the manhole, the woman says that it is hot as hell
down there. The man wonders how people really know how to compare. He says that
perhaps hell is a lot closer than people care to admit. The woman sees the
light. The large man says hello to Angel, the man standing in the light. Angel
greets the large man and says that he sees that he brought a date. The man
introduces Sandy to Angel. He says that she hasn’t slept in weeks and that he
thought she could use some company. Angel tells Sandy that she should know that
she made their friend late. He says that story time has already begun and that
her large associate usually has the most popular stories. Sandy looks and sees a
mass of humanity all huddled together, and despite the intense heat they are all
smiling. The people greet Sandy’s large companion as “sir”.
The
man says hello to them all and takes off his trench coat and hat. Sandy is
stunned to see that her companion is the Abomination. She says, “My God”. Emil
says that she must be feeling philosophical tonight. He says that they have
discussed life, hell, and now God. He says that as a child his grandmother used
to read him bible stories until they took her away. Sandy tries to run away, but
loses her balance and Angel catches her. She asks what kind of place this is.
Emil says that it is called planet Earth. She asks what he is. Emil says that
depends on where you are. He says that up there he is a monster… an abomination,
but that down there he is a resident. Emil asks Angel if it is his turn. Angel
says that he already told the one about the man in black and the lady of light.
Angel tells Sandy that they like that one because so many of them are in it.
Sandy whispers to Angel and asks what happened to him to cause his condition.
Angel says that life happened, but that it is a passing condition. She asks if
his condition is passing. Angel says that life is passing. He tells her to get
comfortable, She says that isn’t likely, but Angel says that down there anything
is possible. Emil starts his story and says that it is very loosely based on a
true story.
Once upon a time in a far off land lived King Josef. He was a good king, but a frightened king. For in another, darksome castle some leagues away, there lived a creature known as The Banner. It was said that the Banner was sullen and fearsome. That he possessed the strength of a hundred men. That he was angry and jealous of… the world around him… and would one day march from his darksome castle to lay waste to the outside world. So Josef decided to strike first. He ordered his army to march upon the Banner and destroy him. There was great fanfare and celebrations for three days. And then the army marched off to the castle of the Banner… there to engage him in battle and destroy him. And from that darksome castle came the sounds of a great struggle and a great war. And eventually… the army of King Josef returned battered and beaten. And the Captain of the army went to King Josef and said… “The Banner is very angry that you have sent your army against him. And he bade me to say to you: ‘Tell your king of my wrath. Of how fearsome and powerful a being I am. Tell him he is welcome to send more against me if he desires, for I am the strongest one there is. Until now I have been merciful, but the next man to face me will surely die.”
And King Josef was sore afraid, which was a new feeling for him that he greatly misliked. He paced in his great hall, and finally decided… “We need a great hero, for only a great hero can stand there against the Banner.” So he sent a proclamation to all parts of his kingdom, and what it said was: “Whomsoever destroys the creature known as the Banner shall have one half of my kingdom… and the hand of my daughter, Nadia.” Now, Nadia was a very beautiful young woman, and very much a princess. And when she learned of her father’s proclamation, she said… “ Who am I that I am to be battered in a bargain that my father would strike? He has not consulted me. Nor would I have a husband chosen for me merely because he can slay some creature.” But the king’s word was law and Nadia saw only one hope. So she waited until none was about… and then she descended the long, dark steps to the secret armory… down, down, down to the secret armory. She clothed herself in armor. In her right hand was the sword called Gamma, which granted her great speed… and in her left was the might shield, Bomb, which gave her great strength… Then she left a note for her father, and on her great horse, Thunderbolt, went off to slay the Banner.
Meanwhile, there was a man in the village named Blonsky. He was not a hero. He was a barber. But he had once seen the princess from afar during a tournament, and had fallen immediately in love with her, which sometimes happens. And when it does none can gainsay it. Upon the king’s proclamation, he went to the king’s castle. He brought the tools of his trade and naught else. Upon arriving, he was surprised to find the Great Hall empty of true heroes. There was only the king who said… “My daughter has run off to the Darksome Castle to face the Banner. And no heroes have come for they fear the Banner’s wrath. My daughter’s life is forfeit, for there are none to save her.” “I shall save her,” said Blonsky… and he rode off to the Darksome Castle on his very old horse.
Meantime, Nadia had come face to face with the Banner in the Darksome Castle. He stank of sweat and decaying bodies, and bore no weapon except his own monstrous form. Nadia attacked, and there was a prodigious fight. The great walls shook, and outside there was thunder and lightning, for the gods were angry that two mortals could engage in a battle of such godlike proportions. He wasted blow after blow on the mighty shield, but grew not tired but only stronger for such was the magic of the Banner. And whenever she struck him with the sword, he would heal, for such, too, was the magic of the Banner. But the princess was not a tireless creature, and eventually she became fatigued. In that moment, he tore the shield from her. Then the Banner used the shield called Bomb to block the sword called Gamma. And when Nadia had no more strength, she suddenly found herself bereft of her sword as well. He knocked her down, and truly her life would have been forfeit, for his wrath was great. And he commanded… “Remove your helmet, for I am going to strike your head from your shoulders, and for your sake, I would that the blow were clean and quick.” And the princess, who had issued so many commands herself, now did as she herself was commanded. Her long hair cascaded around her face, as sparkling as a waterfall at sunrise, and the Banner was sorely perplexed. “I have said the next man to face me shall die, but you are a woman. This is a great problem.” But Nadia did not shrink from her fate, and she said… “Kill me for I would rather die free than live as chattel.” And to the Banner’s great surprise, his heart softened towards her. It had been many years since he’d felt something other than rage. It both pleased and frightened him.
At that moment did Blonsky enter, and issue his challenge. The Banner roared in anger and derision. For Blonsky was armed only with his razor as a sword, and his mirror as a shield, and these seemed poor weapons indeed. And then the Banner saw a reflection in the mirror and screamed. Nadia saw it too, and was astonished. For the reflection was not of a slavering green monster, but of a gentle, brown-haired man, sad and tormented. And the Banner fell to the ground and pleaded… “Kill me, I beg you, for I cannot bear to look at that long-lost image again. I had thought I had forgotten but you have reminded me of it. And I cannot stand to live with the thought of what I once was. Take the great sword Gamma, behead me, and put an end to me.” This entreaty Blonksy would most happily have obliged, but Nadia had seen the image in the mirror, the hidden and true soul of the Banner. And she threw herself in front of the Banner and beseeched Blonsky not to slay the pathetic creature. “Pity me not.”… said the Banner… “…for I am under a curse. I shall remain in this hideous form until one, of his own free will, assumes the weight of that curse, forever, and none such will there ever be.” And Blonsky looked upon the Banner, and the sadness in Nadia’s eyes. And he realized that Nadia had fallen in love with the true soul of the Banner at first sight, which sometimes happens. And Blonsky knew from his own experience, that such a love can never be gainsaid. And Blonsky loved Nadia too greatly to see her suffer so. And he heard his own voice say… “I assume your curse, freely and of my own will… forever.” And it was done, in no more time than it takes me to tell you now. And Blonksy, who was now an abominable beast while the Banner was human, said… “I bid you now, go. Live in happiness. The one boon I crave is that you tell the people of the town that the monster is dead and gone… so that I may live out my days in peace… here in the darksome castle.” “Why have you done this…?”… asked Nadia, and the human Banner likewise asked… “…Why?” And he said very softly, so softly they almost could not hear him… “Because I wished to be a hero… and this is what heroes do.” And he slunk off into the shadows never again to be seen by the eyes of man.
And the Banner… who now called himself Robert Bruce… and Nadia honored the noble sacrifice of Blonsky. They returned to the kingdom, and said that the monster known as the Banner was gone… which, in truth, he was. From the depths of a king’s despair, great happiness now swelled forth. A wedding was held, and everyone in the kingdom from the great to the very small attended. And Robert Bruce and Nadia were destined to be together, forever, and have many children and a long life of happiness.
And from far, far off, in the highest tower of the Darksome Castle… Blonsky watched. Forever exiled. Forever an outsider. Forever trapped in the body of a monster. And yet, forever satisfied that the woman he loved would live… happily… ever after… the end.
The people thank Emil for his beautiful story. Emil looks at Sandy and sees that she is asleep. He asks if he should be insulted or flattered. He wishes her sweet dreams.
Sandy is awoken the next morning by a couple of policemen. They tell her that she can’t sleep there because not only is it illegal, but dangerous. Sandy asks them what time it is. She is told that it is ten. She asks if they mean ten in the morning. The cop says that it doesn’t usually get this bright at ten at night. One of the cops asks if she has someplace to go. Sandy says that she has a home. The cop tells her to head there, shower up, and enjoy the day. He tells her not to camp out on anymore park benches. As Sandy walks, she thinks that she finally got a good night’s sleep, but that it was a whacked out dream that she had. She pulls a note from her pocket that reads, “Story time is every full moon. Come again if you wish. We could use a social worker and you could use the rest. Love, Emil” Sandy closes her eyes and crumples up the paper. She throws it away, but then she pulls it out of the trash and puts it back in her pocket.
No Excuses rating: 8 out of 10
I enjoy the story, but I generally dislike the “civilizing” of the Abomination in this story. A tragic and sympathetic creature sure, but “Daddy Abomination” seems a little much. I like that Madman is referenced and am still hoping we get to see him again. The story itself was cute. The art is decent. I like the Abomination and the supporting characters. I finally have a style that I like from Immonen. Unfortunately it seems a somewhat limited function.
Title: “Psychobabble”
Writer: Jerry Novick
Penciller: Kevin Kobasic
Inker: John Lowe
Colors: Sarra Mosoff
Samson stands outside a post office among a group of police cars and officers. The cop tells Samson that they don’t have time for negotiations. He says that his boys are fast and accurate and that they already have one hostage down. Samson says that is why he should be let in, and that maybe if he can reach the man that the body count can stay down. The cop tells Samson that he has made his point, but that if Samson can’t take him, that they will.
Samson shouts out that he is unarmed, and that he is just coming in to talk. Samson enters the building. He sees a man holding a handgun on a woman. He tells the man to put the gun down, and that he doesn’t really want to hurt anyone. Samson asks him what his name is. The man asks what a name matters and complains about the lack of respect inside the post office. Suddenly, the man is holding a shotgun. He says that this is what gets him respect. The man turns and fires it at Samson. Samson is stunned when the bullet penetrates his skin. He realizes that the man’s gun changed, and wonders if his powers are mutant or mechanical. Samson decides that he had better defuse the situation first and analyze it later. The man, now holding an Uzi, says that with power you don’t have to wait for anything. Samson tells the man to let the hostages go and that they will get him whatever he wants. The man says that what he wants is to be left alone. He opens fire. Samson grabs the gun from behind and tosses the man to the ground. Samson asks why causing others pain is the last refuge of the desperate. Samson is stunned when he sees the man transforming. Suddenly the man is now a large wrestler, complete with championship belt. The wrestler says that if he wants pain that Painkiller will give him pain. He tells Samson to come and try and take his title if he can.
Painkiller kicks Samson out the window. The cops have Painkiller lined up to fire on, but Samson tells them to hold their fire. Painkiller slams Samson against the ground. He walks off and says that another challenger is defeated. Samson tackles Painkiller and pins his arm behind his back. Samson asks if he is ready to talk yet. Painkiller says that he has been defeated by his own conceit. Samson says that he is only there to try and help him. Painkiller asks, “….help?” and suddenly Painkiller is gone and replaced with three short helpful men. They say that they will help and that is what they are there for. They ask what he needs help with. Manny tells Moe that Samson looks a bit tussled. Moe asks Jack if he doesn’t agree that it isn’t right for such a handsome man. Jack says that they should tidy him up a bit. Samson thinks to himself that he is sure that these transformations are brought on by an outside stimulus. Manny, Moe, and Jack offer Samson a shine, a soda, and a haircut respectively. Samson declines but asks if they can help him with a problem he is having. They say that dealing with problems is their specialty. Samson asks them what happened to the two gentlemen that were there before them. He asks where they come from and why they left. He asks them to help him help them. Manny, Moe, and Jack are confused when offered help and transform into a large mustached man with a belt wrapped around his fist. He shouts that teachers come to him and tell him how to raise his boy. He says that no one tells the Lord of Discipline when his kid needs a taste of leather. He says that maybe if his daddy had whupped him better that he would know his place. Samson tells the Lord of Discipline not to get rash, and that they just want what is best for his son. The Lord of Discipline says that he isn’t sure that he is his son, but that if he has to pay for it, that he is going to raise him his way. He hits Samson. Samson’s head swims from the blow. He catches the next punch and says that is enough. He knocks the Lord of Discipline down and says that his kind makes him sick. He says that he lords it over little kids because he doesn’t want them or know what to do with them. He asks if he thinks he is teaching his son how to be a man and says that he ought to give him a taste of his own medicine. Samson catches himself and says that this isn’t the man’s fault. He says that he is the victim here just playing out a sick scene from his troubled childhood. Samson says that he has to let him help. The Lord of Discipline says that Samson is a book smart, long-haired sissy. He says that he must have cheated to beat him. He says that he was beaten by a sissy and asks what that makes him. The Lord of Discipline transformed into half of two people. On the one side is a large, older woman and on the other is a petite and henpecked man. The woman says that what the man is, is a simpering fool and asks if he can’t do anything right. The man starts to stammer. The woman tells Derrick to spit it out. She says that he is useless. The man says that he guesses that he is and that she would be better off without him. The woman says that he is right and that she is ready to help him on his way. The woman’s head starts biting Derrick’s ear. Samson pulls them apart. He says that he is tired of him marching out one personality after another to deal with his problems and that he needs to speak to the real person. Suddenly all the incarnations of the man are there at the same time and start fighting with one another. Samson says that he had better stop this fast. He says that he had better start with the trigger happy postman. Samson is trying to pry the postman and the Lord of Discipline apart when he sees a woman standing there. She asks to make it stop. Samson tells the woman that she is in danger. The woman says that it is always dangerous around them, and that is why she hides away by herself. She says that there are too many voices and that it is too crowded. She says that she knows it is wrong of her, but that sometimes she wishes that she were alone. Samson says that if they are all a part of her that she has to pull them back inside. The woman says that she wants to be all alone inside. Samson realizes that she is another personality, but thinks that at least she is calm. Samson says that alone is not all it’s made out to be and that they need people. He says that he is there to help, but that for him to do that she has to be whole again. He tells her that she has remained calm and strong through all this and to use that strength to find the place inside her that is best and to bring it out to show him. The woman says that there is no inside of her, but just her inside. She that she does like calm, and that quiet is good. She says that “he does so wish to be whole”. Suddenly, all the incarnations are gone and replaced with a thin brown haired man. Samson wonders if this is another manifestation or the real deal. The man says that it hurts and that he is so tired of it all. He says that he doesn’t know where to turn or who he is anymore. The man passes out. Samson picks him up and says that he is the victim. He says that all the anger, abuse, expectations, and regrets have splintered his mind. He says that together they will make him whole.
No Excuses rating: 3 out of 10
I don’t know if this story would have been less annoying if it had better art, but the art is just terrible. It’s fairly hard to tell what is even going on in the panels much less appreciate any artistic rendering. 1 out of 5 for the art. The plot itself seems to be right up the Hulk’s and Samson’s alley, but it’s sloppy, unorganized, and gives no real insight into much of anything. The extra half point if for the concept… though failing to execute it.
Title: “Desert Storm featuring Achilles and Ajax of the Pantheon”
Writer: Frank Lovece
Penciller: Phil Hugh Felix
Inker: Phil Moy
Colors: Kelly Convese
Achilles is flying away from jets that are firing on him. Ajax continually asks Achilles if they are there yet. Ajax asks Achilles if they are going to be there soon. Achilles tells Ajax that if he says one more word and he is going to pull over and they will walk. Ajax says, “Achilles?” Achilles says that does it. He spins the ship toward the two jets, flies through them, and then he and Ajax eject. Ajax asks Achilles why they are in Trans-Sabal. Achilles says that it is the fourth of July and that they are there for the fireworks. The Pantheon ship explodes.
They land. Ajax sees palm trees and asks if they are at the beach. Achilles says that he will explain again. He says that they are in Trans-Sabal looking for a Pantheon operative with the code name “Arabian Night”. He says that he tipped Dr. Banner about a plan to ship Muslim soldiers to a hot spot in Europe. Ajax hears “Muslim” and thinks “Moose-lim” and asks if it is Bullwinkle. Achilles asks why he bothers. He radios in to Banner and says that they are at the contact point, but that there is no contact. He asks what he should do. Bruce says to give him five minutes and then to reconnoiter at his discretion. Banner tells him to be careful. Achilles signs off and is immediately hit by a blast from a mandroid armor. Ajax plows into them. As the struggle goes on, the mandroids suddenly fall over. Ajax says that they did it, but Achilles knows that someone else helped them. Abdul Gamar, the Arabian Knight, reveals himself. He says that he is the knight with a “k-n”. Achilles says that is clever, but Knight reminds him that he didn’t figure it out. Ajax asks if he can go for a ride on the magic carpet. Knight says that maybe later. He says that he has been there undercover since the Pantheon’s disastrous incursion into Trans-Sabal. He says that a group of mercenaries called “Desert Sword” thought they had hostages in the Pantheon agents that were posing as his family. He says that he has found a massive secret build up of Muslim troops for export to Europe. Achilles says that he doesn’t know Arabian Knight and that he is going to contact Banner. Knight says that he saved him from the mandroids. Achilles says that he is invulnerable, and that Ajax is a tank. Knight says that it would have taken him time, and that it would have caused an international incident. Achilles concedes.
Achilles, Ajax, and Arabian Knight look down on the Muslim soldiers. Achilles says that his intelligence was good. He says that he will contact Banner, and that if they act fast that maybe they can stop Trans-Sabal from exporting terrorists. Knight says that he doesn’t want them stopped. He says that he wants them to assist. He says that he wants them to “help them reinforce the Muslims against the Serbian “ethnic cleansing” in Bosnia-Hercegovina.” Achilles says, “The Hades we will!” Achilles says that they aren’t helping extremists and that they are leaving. Knight holds his sword against Achilles’ neck and asks if they aren’t supposed to be Pantheon. Achilles says that if Knight is Pantheon that he should know that his sword won’t hurt him. Knight says that of course he knows, and that he was just making a point. Achilles leg swipes Knight, but Knight leaps over it. He asks Knight where the real contact is. Ajax asks what the problem is. Achilles says that Muslims in Bosnia are not their problem. Knight says that Muslims are being rounded up and penned like stray dogs… like Achilles’ people were in Nazi concentration camps. Achilles leaps at Knight and tells him not to dare to compare. Knight kicks Achilles off. Ajax asks what a concentration camp is. Achilles tells Ajax to stop asking questions and attack him. Knight asks if Achilles has seen pictures of the men like skeletons and the maidens raped by soldiers. Ajax says that is terrible and asks why they would do that. Achilles says that it is war and that terrible things happen in war. Knight reminds Achilles that there are such things as war crimes and brings up the Nuremberg trials. Achilles leaps at Knight and says that it isn’t the same. Achilles says that Bosnia is all mountains and that they would get bogged down, like in Vietnam, where the US did more harm than good. Knight asks if they are just going to stand by and watch another holocaust. He says that he thought they had learned “never forget”. Achilles says that he hasn’t forgotten, but while they are fighting planes fly over the Muslim soldiers and kill them all with surgical strikes from bombs. Achilles realizes. Ajax asks why it is okay to stop these soldiers, but not the other ones. Knight says that is what the world should be asking. Knight tells Achilles that his request is rescinded. Achilles says that he guesses it is. He says that he is sorry for not trusting him. Achilles tells Ajax to get back in his chair and follow him to help the others. Achilles says that he needs help remembering what he promised never to forget.
No Excuses rating: 2 out of 5
Just awful. Trans-Sabal continues it’s tradition of bring down stories. The story also makes no sense when you consider Achilles’ actions against Max Meer in recent issues. He hasn’t forgotten anything. The art also stank. Man do I hate “modern” annuals.
Title: “You’re Invited! A Peek Into the Wedding Album of Rick and Marlo”
Witness: Barry Dutter
Photographer: Scott Beneiel
Developer: Mike Christian
Color Coordinator: Sarra Mossoff
A picture of the whole wedding party with Drax sticking his head into the picture.
A picture of Marlo seeing Mephisto’s image in her mirror
A picture of Hulk holding Rick in the air to prevent Rick’s last minute jitters.
A picture of the Teen Brigade.
A picture of Namor screaming about being served a rare and exotic fish.
A picture of Ant-Man standing next to the bride and groom on the wedding cake.
A picture of Marlo using Black Knight’s laser sword to cut the wedding cake.
A picture of Quicksilver playing the piano so fast that the people in the wedding march were sprinting down the aisle.
A picture of Johnny Storm looking concerned as Lyja catches the bouquet.
A picture of Rick fighting with the DJ about not having any of his records.
A picture of Hulk, She-Hulk, Thor, and Thunderstrike.
A picture of Rick and Marlo leaving. Drax throws an entire bag of rice at them.
A picture of the Impossible Man holding a handful of the bogus wedding invitations.
No Excuses rating: 4.5 out of 10
Eh.Review and picture by The Leader