Tales to Astonish #81

Title: “When a Monarch Goes Mad!”

Writer: Stan Lee

Penciller: Gene Colan

Inker: Dick Ayers

Namor tears a curtain off the wall. He says that this is more than even a prince should have to endure. He says that she has made him the victim of the greatest betrayal of all time. He says that he was out there fighting for his survival while Dorma deserted him and ran off with his deadliest enemy. Vashti thinks to himself that he wishes he hadn’t had to tell Namor about Dorma. Vashti says that he knows Dorma loved him. He suggests that maybe she didn’t betray him, but that she had some cause. Namor tells Vashti to be silent and that he never wants to think of Dorma again. Namor announces that mentioning her name is now treason. Namor swears that he is going to find Krang and exact a full measure of revenge on him. Vashti asks Namor to do nothing until time has soothed his hurt and given him new vision. Namor says that he isn’t listening to this. He says that Vashti is old, and that he is young. He says that the flames of his rage must be fed. He says to summon the court and that there are sentences to be meted out.

Moments later, Namor sits on his throne with crown and regal robes. Two guards hold one of Atlantis’ citizens. The man says that he is one of Namor’s loyalist subjects and asks what he is accused of. Namor asks the man if the female traitor is not his cousin. The man asks if Namor means Dorma, but Namor tells him to be silent and that her name is forbidden in his realm. Vashti watches Namor and says that the noblest and most gentle of monarchs has become a tyrant. He wonders what this will mean for Atlantis. The man says that she is his cousin, but that he hasn’t done anything. Namor says that he shares common ancestry and that is enough. He sends the man to the dungeons, and that he will remain there until his rage is abated. The guards drag the man away, but the man shouts that he hasn’t done anything and begs of mercy. Namor says that from this moment on that he knows no mercy. Vashti says that as Grand Vizier that he must be heard. He says that he is not dispensing justice, but oppression. Namor tells Vashti to get out or he will be the next to feel his anger. Vashti thinks to himself that it is useless and that Namor has become a madman. He says that losing the woman he loved has caused him to reach his breaking point. Vashti watches Namor walk off and feels grief in his heart for him. He thinks of the effect this will have on one who has lived with princely pride for so long. He says that a dynasty may fall.

Namor walks to his private quarters. He asks why he cannot stop the torment within his brain… the haunting voice that keeps repeating Dorma’s name. He says that only vengeance will still the voice. Namor says that vengeance will be his and smashes his fist through a pillar. He stomps his foot against the ground and says that only the most awesome revenge will dampen his hatred. He pushes another pillar over and asks if he is not the mightiest of all and monarch of all he surveys. He shouts Imperius Rex, but then stops himself. He says that destroying his castle will not put Krang in his hands. He says that he will exact his retribution, and that if Krang lives that he will find him. He says that his eyes are everywhere. Namor activates his observa-coils which survey his entire kingdom.

After an hour of looking, Namor gets frustrated and turns off the observa-coils. He puts his head down and says that though his strength is far superior to Krang’s that Krang is still his master in cunning and subterfuge. He says that it is a tragedy when a man of action has no foe to strike against. He says that he can’t give in to despair and that maybe the armed legions of Atlantis will succeed where he has failed. Namor orders all seek and destroy units to find the traitor Krang. Namor’s troops rocket off in ships.

In a carefully hidden undersea cavern, Krang laughs about thwarting Namor’s observa-coils, and says that the fool is resorting to more desperate measures. Dorma says that Krang can call Namor what he wants, but that no one can truthfully Namor a fool. Krang reminds Dorma that Namor is no longer her prince and that to save his life she has sworn her allegiance to him. Krang says that they will flee to the surface and that Namor would not dare follow them there. Dorma says that Namor dares anything. Dorma says that Krang has thought of everything including a special gas to change the color of their skin. She asks about their lungs and says that they can only breathe water. Krang says that he will answer that later, but first he changes Dorma’s skin to Caucasian. He then changes his own skin color and Dorma’s heart sinks when he calls himself her husband to be. Krang says that Namor will never find them on the surface now, but that when Namor least expects it that he will return for the throne of Atlantis so that Dorma can be his queen by his side. Dorma asks how long they will remain on the surface as she boards Krang’s ship. Krang says that it doesn’t matter and that they have to leave before Namor’s legions find his hidden lair. Dorma and Krang leave.

Namor’s legions spot Krang’s ship, but know enough that they will not catch him. They head back to Namor in abject failure.

Namor is told of Krang heading to the surface. Namor asks if Krang doesn’t think he will follow him there. Namor picks up a statue of Dorma and smashes it against the ground. Namor swims to the surface to find Krang and Dorma

Prince of the Realm rating: 8.5 out of 10

Holy cow! Namor has flipped his lid! No wonder this guy shares a book with the Hulk! Great turn for Namor. Lovelorn and angry Namor turns his frustration on the world. Great stuff. I really enjoy the art here. The storytelling is amazing. I wish there was a better way for me to show you. Go out and buy the issue now.

Title: “The Stage is Set!”

Writer: Stan Lee

Layout: Jack Kirby

Art: Bill Everett

The Secret Empire watches footage of the Hulk escaping General Ross’ missile base obtained from an agent that was assigned to spy on the base. They are told to pay particular attention to the scene as the Hulk begins to leap away. Number Five tells them to watch Ross giving out a command and that command is what concerns them most. The footage shows the Air Force’s new Orion missile. He says that they of the Secret Empire must possess it. One of the agents asks if the Hulk wouldn’t be the greater prize. He is told to be silent. Number Five tells them to observe how the Orion missile explodes a hundred feet from its target. They are told to note the great ring of ionic energy hurled at the victim that ensures anything and anyone will be plunging to the Earth. He says that the Hulk’s great strength saved him from further injury. He says that the Hulk would be  a prize, but that he is too dangerous and too uncontrollable. He says that they should concentrate on the Orion missile. Number Seven says that it is their job to select an agent that will obtain the missile for them. They decide that Boomerang is the only one who can accomplish this. They contact him via private microwave length.

In another city and state, Boomerang tells the Secret Empire to give him the details and the price. A woman in the next room asks Fred who he is talking to. Boomerang says that he is just fooling around with his walkie-talkie. He whispers to the Secret Empire to talk low and that they have thirty seconds. The woman is looking through Fred’s scrapbook. She says that he was so glamorous a few seasons ago when he was a star pitcher. She says that it is a shame they suspended him. Fred says that he doesn’t miss it, and that he has found more important things. He whispers to the Secret Empire that he understands and will take care of it. The woman says that the sports writers all said he could have been the greatest. She asks who he was talking to. She says that there are so many things that she doesn’t know about him and that she feels she will never know. Fred says that she is making him sound like James Bond. He says that he has a lot of confidential business deals is all. He slips on her coat and says that she had better get going. He says that something has come up that he has to deal with right away. He says that he will take a rain check on the dinner and dancing. She says okay, but that if he breaks one more date with her that it will be the last time. Fred tells her to wish him luck and that if this works out okay that he will be on easy street for life. He says that he will call her the first chance he gets. She tells him to forgive him if she doesn’t hold his breath. Boomerang accesses the hidden area where he keeps his costume. He says that he will start scouting the missile base tonight.

Mole Man’s forces go against Tyrannus’. Mole Man shouts that Tyrannus has to be stopped before he finds the source of the youth fountain. Bruce Banner watches the fighting and thinks how he has to find Betty, Talbot, and Rick. He thinks to himself that he has to find them soon. He says that it is a miracle that he changed from the Hulk when he did, but that he might change back at any moment. He remembers seeing them captives in Tyrannus’ city. Bruce thinks about how easy it would be for the Hulk to find them. Tyrannus, holding a statue of his younger self, almost blasts Bruce with a weapon. He tells the “stranger” to get out of his way and that he can’t stop for anything until he finds the enchanted fountain and restores his youth. Bruce grabs the weapon from the old Tyrannus and orders him to tell him where the surface dwelling prisoners are being held. Tyrannus says that he doesn’t know anything about prisoners. He says that he only took the Hulk to help him fight Mole Man, but that he escaped. Bruce says that he knows about the Hulk more than he might suspect and orders him again to tell him where they are. Tyrannus says that they were of no use to him so he returned them to the surface. Bruce panicked asks how. Tyrannus starts to tell him about his matter transmitter, but then he drops the bust of himself and says that it must not break. He says that it is all that remains of his glory days. Bruce realizes that he is wasting his time and that he has to find them himself. Tyrannus says that once he finds the fountain he will be young again and the world will be his. Bruce runs off alone. Tyrannus says that he will never stop looking and that he will find it someday. On the ground picking up the head Tyrannus notices some moisture on the ground. He says that it was fate that made him drop the head. He says that soon he will be young and handsome. He says that his enemies will tremble. He says that first he will destroy Mole Man and then he will attack the surface world again. He says that even the Hulk must be punished for deserting him. He says that everyone will be punished.

Talbot, Betty, and Rick reappear on the surface. Talbot says that he doesn’t know how, but that they are back. Betty says that what they saw down there was like a mad nightmare. Rick says that they didn’t dream it, and that the Hulk is still down there. Talbot says that they should be grateful then, and that maybe he won’t menace the human race anymore. Rick says that he was never a menace and that Hulk just wanted to be left alone. Betty says that if Bruce really is the Hulk that she may have lost him forever. Rick thinks to himself that Talbot probably wants that so he can go after Betty himself. A jeep full of soldiers find them and says that Ross has had every man searching for Betty for hours. Talbot says that he has a report for Ross. One of the soldiers tells Talbot that Ross is anxious to see him since Talbot is the security officer, and that he is concerned about the Orion missile. Talbot asks if all precautions have been taken. The guard says that there is a twenty-four hour guard on the rocket. Talbot says that is good and that they should get going.

Boomerang watches the three of them climb into the jeep. He thinks to himself that once he kidnaps the General’s daughter that the missile will be his. He thinks to himself that he has more than enough metal discs to do the job. He says that a mere handful of men are no match for him.

Suddenly a metal disc goes through the steering wheel shaft of the jeep. Boomerang stands before them as they brake to a halt. The soldier pull their weapons and Boomerang asks if they are really going to shoot him in cold blood. The soldiers hesitate when their weapons’ barrels are split by metal discs. Boomerang then renders them helpless by bouncing discs off their kneecaps. Talbot says that they have to show him that two can play at this game. He tells Rick to grab some rocks. Boomerang says that he admires their high resolve, but then throws two discs at the same time and knocks the rocks out of their hands. Boomerang grabs Betty, and Rick and Talbot can’t stop him because of their throbbing arms. Boomerang tells Talbot to tell Ross that he will release his daughter as soon as Ross gives him the plans for the Orion missile. Talbot asks if Boomerang thinks he can get the secret to one of their most vital weapons that easily. Boomerang says that all artists make their art look easy. Boomerang throws a boomerang at a hill. The boomerang releases a powerful electrical charge and starts a rockslide. Betty asks how Boomerang plans to get out of the desert training area. Boomerang says that he doesn’t wear “outlandish” books for nothing. His boots jet them into the air and he says that he would have thought that Thunderbolt Ross’s daughter would recognize retro-boots.

Below the surface, Bruce finds himself caught in the middle of the battle between Tyrannus and Mole Man’s forces. Tyrannus’ forces figure that maybe he is to blame for all this since Tyrannus was supreme before those from the surface invaded them. They jump on Bruce. Bruce starts changing. He tries to resist and says that if he has to die that he wants it to be for something. He shouts that it can’t end like this. Hulk asks them if they think they can destroy him. Hulk plows through them. Hulk says that he doesn’t remember why, but that he has to reach the building in front of him. Hulk topples a statue of Tyrannus and starts destroying the city. Hulk reaches the building. He tears the door open and tries to remember why he wanted to come there. Hulk smashes some machines and says that he hates them. Hulk sees a machine and climbs onto it. He lies down and fades from sight.

No Excuses rating: 7.5 out of 10

Review and pictures by the Leader

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