She-Hulk #2

Title: “Class Action Comics!”

Writer: Dan Slott

Penciller: Juan Bobillo

Inker: Marcelo Sosa

Colors: Chris Chuckry

Editor: Tom Brevoort

At Avengers mansion, Wasp tells She-Hulk to put her boxes down. She-Hulk says that she is packing. Wasp says that she can do that later, and that today is the day she starts her new job. Wasp asks if she doesn’t want to look her best. She-Hulk says that she already looks her best, but Wasp says that not with that pout. She tells Jen to stop stalling and that she promised her boss that she would work for him as Jennifer Walters, not the She-Hulk. She-Hulk says that this is stupid. She says that there is nothing that “she” can’t do that she can’t do this way. She changes back into Jen and says that when she is like this that she is waif. She says that she is vulnerable and a target. She asks what is to stop one of her rogue’s gallery from attacking her. Scarlet Witch asks when She-Hulk got a rogue’s gallery. Jen says, “Well… there’s Titania, Ultima, the Man-Elephant… um Titania…” Wanda says that she already mentioned Titania. Jen says that isn’t the point. She says that her secret identity is public knowledge. She says that everyone knows she is Jen Walters. Wasp says that Jen Walters is not an uncommon name. She says that Manhattan has eleven other Jen Walters in the phone book. Wanda says that there are even two Wanda Maximoffs, and that they even get one another’s calls sometimes. Wanda asks if there are any other Janet Van Dynes out there. Wasp says that there is only ever one Janet Van Dyne. Jen starts to object, but Wanda places a spell on her. She says that now anyone who wishes the She-Hulk harm can recognize her in this form. Jen sarcastically says that she is a real pal. Jen walks down the hall with her stuff and says that she can do this. Jarvis sees her and asks if she is leaving. He says that he packed up some of her stray items. Jen says that she is just leaving for work. Jarvis asks if she is coming back, and Jen says that of course she is. Wasp watches Jen walk away with Wanda. She says that it is the first time she has seen a woman complain that she was going down to a size four.

Jen stands on the bus holding her box. She thinks about the $300,000 specially designed sports car that she used to drive to work. She thinks how her feet used to reach the pedals. She says that she has to focus on why she is doing this. She walks into Timely Plaza and looks forward to riding all the way up to the top to Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg, and Holliway. She says that they are the most pretigious law firm on the East Coast and that they wanted her and not the She-Hulk. She thinks how they wouldn’t settle for anything less than Jen Walters and that something in here is actually excited about that. Jen walks up to reception and introduces herself. The receptionist says, “Walters… oh. You’re one of them. You’re not on this floor. You need to go to 39.” As Jen crams herself into the elevator she is told that Mr. Holliway will be told that she will be down shortly.

The elevator doors open. Mr. Holliway says, “Jenny! Yoo-hoo! Over here, kiddo! Willkommen! Aloha! Come in already!” He asks if she is ready for the grand tour. Jen says that she guesses so and asks what an Atlantean is doing there. Holliway says that he is Count Tupo, and that he is here for his 9:30 appointment. He says that they are running behind though and that conference room #2 is full of Moloids. He shows her the room and says that right now conditions are set for subterranean conditions, but that once they are done there that it will be pumped full of seawater, and then the legal team will switch night vision goggles for scuba gear. Jen says that she wasn’t expecting this. Holliway says that they even have cases concerning the air, including the Bird-People’s fly zone around Aerie. Jen says that she thought she was coming to work at a respected law firm, and that this place is a circus. Holliway says that here is a normal meeting table with normal people around it. He says that he thinks someone owes him an apology. Jen says that is Dr. Strange. Holliway says, “So it is.” He says that he will show her the break room where they have a perfectly normal foosball table.

Strange’s attorney says to Mallory Book that they have her client dead to rights. He says that they caught him with the Wand of Watoomb, and that he admitted stealing it after he was read his rights. Mallory says that they aren’t arguing that. She says that they are saying that when he was questioned that he was still under the influence of the Eye of Agamotto. Strange asks what the problem is. He says that it only reveals the truth and asks how one can argue against the truth. Strange’s lawyer welcomes Strange to America and the “magic” of civil rights. He says that Book has gone to the DA, and that her client Wilkes is free to go. As Wilkes leaves, Book says that she hopes that Strange understands that she was just doing her job. Strange says that it is fine. He says that Wilkes will answer for his crimes and that he will be gunned down in eight days while driving a get away car. He says that his real purpose in coming there was to see her in action. He says that he has a client that he wishes to refer her to. Mallory says to give her a second.

Holliway says that Jen is a superhero and that she knows what kind of world they live in. He says that they have time travelers, Asgardian gods, and mutant children being raised by talking cows. Jen points out that Awesome Android is standing in the hallway. Holliway tells her not to be rude and says hello to Awesome Andy. Holliway tells her that on his last escapade that Andy developed sentience. He says that in a pro bono case that they emancipated him from the Mad Thinker, got him American citizenship, and gave him a job. One of the lawyers looks out the hallway. He gives Andy an order for coffees and pastry. He reminds Andy to see Flo for some petty cash and to get a receipt. Jen says that she feels like she should be turning into the She-Hulk and punching him. Holliway says that it will pass. He says that in this abnormal world that normal lawyers won’t do. He says that they practice superhuman law there.

Holliway walks her to a room. He says that they are into new and uncharted territory. He says, “When the laws of reality are broken, we shall find solutions through the laws of man.’ That is how you phrase it, ain’t it boss?” Jen looks into the room and sees Holden Holliway. Holden says that he sees that Jen has met Ditto. He says that Ditto is their resident shape-shifter. Jen asks what a law office needs a shape-shifter for. Holliway says that he is the finest process server that he has ever seen. Ditto changes back into his normal self and says that Holliway is going to literally give him a big head. Ditto says goodbye to Jen and says that if she is lonely that he does a great Orlando Bloom. Jen is muttering at Ditto, but the real Holliway says that her timing is “spot on”. He says that there is a client there that he would like her to get to work on. Holliway introduces Jen to Danger Man. Jen says that he doesn’t mean to be rude, but that she never heard of him. She asks if he is a good guy or a bad guy. Danger Man says that he is just a guy, or that at least he used to be. He says that a few weeks ago that he was just Dan Jermain, safety inspector for Roxxon Energy Corporation. He says that he was supervising a group of workers and that they were putting up ‘danger’ signs to let people know that there was hard atomic water below. A barrel fell over and knocked him into the vat. He could feel himself growing larger and more powerful. He says that he should have died, but that instead he was transformed. He says that he wants to sue Roxxon. Jen asks if he really wants to sue them for making him larger and more powerful. Dan says that he does. Holliway says that he is confident that she is the perfect woman for the job.

Jen says that she is in the Twilight Zone, and that her first case is turning an origin into a class action suit. Jen goes to “The Attic” and asks for any texts that deal with superhuman industrial accidents. The person there says that they only have real and human case files. He says that she wants “The Basement” and that they have the “long boxes”.

Jen wonders what he meant by that as she arrives in “The Basement”. The man there says that he can’t believe that Jen Walters, AKA the Sensational She-Hulk, really works there. Jen shakes his hand. The man introduces himself as Stu Cicero. He says that he has been a big fan since she joined the FF. Jen says that she was told that he had legal documents down there, but that she only sees comic books. Stu says that Marvel Comics are admissible in any court of law. He explains that most Marvel books are licensed by the real heroes, and that any book published before 2002 has the seal of the Comics Code of America. Jen realizes that the books are therefore legal documents from a federal institution. Stu says that in the burgeoning field of superhuman law that they are invaluable.

Jen sits for the next seven billable hours reading origin issues. She waits until the end to read hers. She can’t believe that she actually said the last panel, “From now on, whatever Jennifer Walters can’t handle… the She-Hulk will do.” Jen thinks to herself that she wanted to work for GLK&H, but not this “funhouse mirror of it”. She says that the price is too high. She says that she knows who she is inside. Jen hides behind and tree and changes into the She-Hulk. She-Hulk burst through Jen’s clothes into her costume underneath. She says that she thought that day would never end.

Danger Man rides the subway home. He feels every single person looking at him. He thinks about all his powers, and how his super hearing is the worst one. He walks down the street and can hear all the people talking about him. One says that he will become a superhero, but another asks if they saw what he did to his wife. He thinks how he used to go to the bar, have a drink and watch the game, but now he doesn’t see the point. He thinks how when he can kick a ball into orbit that it all seems a little pointless. He gets home. He sees some things on the ground and goes to pick them up, but splits his shirt down the back. He thinks how that is the second shirt today. He thinks about how few shirts he has left and wonders if he will be forced to walk around naked. The girls dropping Dan’s daughter, Tina, off catcall Dan say to check out the man candy. His daughter tells him that she hates him as she walks through the door. Dan’s wife, Norma, comes down. She is bandaged up. She says that she talked to the insurance people, but says that they are not covered for superhuman damages. Dan is angry, but Norma asks him not to slam the door again. She says that it gets worse and that they are canceling their health and life insurance as well. She says that they refuse to cover superhumans. Dan says that he has had an accident and that there have been expenses. Norma says that she knows. She says that they would have paid if he blew up, but that he didn’t so they won’t. Dan starts getting angry, but Norma reminds him that he will have a meltdown of he gets too upset. Dan says that he is sorry. Norma asks if he wants something to eat. Dan says that he doesn’t need food anymore. She asks him to come to bed, but Dan says that he will be in the guestroom. He says that the last time he rolled over that he almost crushed her. He says that it is for the best.

Norma lies in bed thinking of all the sexy super powered women throwing themselves at “Danger Man”.

At GLK&H’s offices, the Roxxon employees feel that this is a waste of their time. He says that there isn’t a court that will penalize them for making someone large and more powerful. Jen says that she is sorry that they feel that way. She asks if she forgot to mention that the water there today was brought in from the atomic vat that gave Dan Jermain his powers. The Roxxon employees all try to get some of the water. Holden watches them walk out imagining their new powers and asks Jen if it was just tap water. Jen admits it was. Holliway says that was a desperation play. Jen says that it worked in Erin Brokovich. Holliway says that he expects better of her. He says that he has been on the case for one day and is already going for the “Hail Mary”. He asks if she is trying to wrap it up quickly so she can quit. Jen says that it is a stupid case and asks who wouldn’t want to be larger and more powerful. She asks why she would want to go back to being weak and insignificant, but corrects herself and asks why “they” would. Holden asks if she really thinks that being vulnerable makes you weak. He says that what it means is that the world can affect them, touch them, and make them apart of it instead of making them above it. He says, “Heaven help them, Jennifer. All the invulnerable people.” Jen says that Holden has no idea what it is like to be She-Hulk. She says that it is like being a caterpillar and becoming a butterfly. She says that being her is to become something better. She says that their agreement for her to be this way is moronic, and that the person she was doesn’t exist anymore. Jen realizes that is the key to this case. She runs off and Holden says that if he can’t get her to see it then maybe it was all for nothing.

Dan and Tina are talking about getting Roxxon to pay as Norma answers the door. She finds She-Hulk standing there. Jen says that Norma told her to wear something comfortable, and that when she isn’t in the office that this is what makes her comfortable. Tina says that her dad didn’t tell her that She-Hulk was his lawyer. Dan says that he didn’t know she was that Jennifer Walters. Jen says that there are eleven of them in the phone book. She-Hulk tells Dan that she is suggesting that they argue that Danger Man is an all new entity, and that Dan Jermain ceased to exist. She says that she plans to use the “Jean Grey precedent” that she witnessed as part of the Fantastic Four. She says that it involves a woman that supposedly was transformed, but was in fact replaced by another entity. She says that Dan Jermain isn’t coming back, and that his family should be compensated for their losses. Dan asks if Jen thinks that this can work. She-Hulk says that she thinks she can sell it. Norma says that she can’t take it anymore. She tells Tina that they are leaving. Norma takes Tina and walks out. Dan follows her. He tells her not to go. Norma tells “Danger Man” to keep away. Dan says that he can change. Norma says that is the problem. She drives away. Dan starts raging. She-Hulk stands behind him. She says that she thinks that he needs to calm down and to come back inside. Danger Man smacks She-Hulk and tells her to go away. Jen smashes through a car and a dumpster. Dan hears the neighbors telling one another that they told one another that Danger Man would go bad. She-Hulk gets up and tells everyone to clear the area. She-Hulk asks Dan what he is doing. Dan says that he is an atomic superman, and that he is having a meltdown. He says that blowing himself up is the only way that Roxxon will pay up and provide for his family. He says that everything would be better if he were dead. He says that he wants his old life back. Jen changes into her human form. She says that if he is going to self-destruct that he is going to take her with him. Dan says that he will do it, but Jen says that he isn’t that kind of guy. She says that he is the kind of guy that looks out for his family. Dan stops. He says that he didn’t ask for any of this. He asks what they do now. Jen says that they team up and fight.

Jen gets Danger Man an 85 million dollar settlement. She says that the trick was surpressing evidence. She says that by turning the “Secret Identity” SHIELD laws on them that the jury never saw Danger Man. They saw a blue dot on the mirror, and that it made it easier for them to see the man he was inside. She thinks about the legal maneuvering with no flashy moves or cheap theatrics. She thinks how it wouldn’t have interested She-Hulk. Holden enters the room and says that Jen is his hero. He says that she made thirty million in contingency fees on her first case. He says that he figures the firm could at least buy her lunch. He asks if she is coming back. Jen says that of course she will and that there is a lot of work to do.

Site for Sore Eyes rating: 8 out of 10

The writing is outstanding on this issue. The only reason that it didn’t get a perfect 5 was because the “long boxes” bit felt a little condescending the way everyone looks down on the superhuman or comic book cases. Everything else was outstanding. Awesome Andy was cool. Danger Man and his origin are cool. The bit with Norma having nightmares about Danger Man flirting with superwomen was funny. The Roxxon employees trying to get the water was funny. Reminded me of Calvin and Hobbes when Calvin’s father tricked him into eating his dinner cause he told him that it would mutate him into a monster. The plot was cool. The art needs a little work. While the storytelling is still strong, Bobillo needs to work on his style a bit. It wouldn’t hurt for him to have a nice big picture of She-Hulk once in a while. 3.5 for the art.

Review and pictures by The Leader

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